Beer and nachos for just 10 bucks, bros!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Squirly’s Bar & Grill, this funky little dive on Queen Street West. Man, this place was playing punk bands on the stereo I’ve never even heard of, bro! And you gotta get there early, cuz from 4 to 7 pm you can get a pint of beer and a plate of nachos for just 10 bucks!

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Now, despite what it says on the glass, this beer is NOT from Great Lakes Brewery. This is Stratford Pilsner, straight outta the home of Justin Bieber. I will never say never to another one of these brewskis, bro!!!

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So, now we’re going nachos. These tri-color chips are topped with cheese, green onions, tomatoes…and green olives, for some reason. OK, so they’re not the best nachos I’ve ever had. Probably not even in my Top 10. But did I mention that all this, plus any pint of craft beer, is just 10 bucks until 7 pm? That’s a Honky-Tonk Redonkadonk Happy Hour Hoedown in Flavourtown, Dean Bro-dy!!!!

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So, now that it’s after 7, we’re sa-sa-switchin to Side Launch Wheat, son! This light, slightly citrusy local craft beer tastes like gold to me–even in a Woodhouse Brewing glass…

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Who needs a pumpkin spice latte when you can have a pumpkin spice iced capp?

Is it PSL season yet? No way, Jose! The NFL literally just had its hottest game in 15 years, so it definitely doesn’t feel like fall. And the last time I went to Starbucks, I actually bought me a beer. (That one didn’t work out in the long run, for some reason…) But when yer sweatin’ bullets off yer ballsack, good ol’ Tim Hortons has just the thing for you. Say hello to the Pumpkin Spice Iced Capp, bro!!!

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Now, I know what you’re thinking–this just looks like a regular old iced capp. Well, that’s because my local Timmies was all out of whipped cream already at 10 am. Kinda makes you wonder what they were doing with all that whipped cream last night… Oh, and they didn’t have any of the pumpkin drizzle, either. Someone musta been all Brown Chicken Brown Cow up in this joint, broseph!

Anyways, you can totally taste the pumpkin in this. It pretty much takes like pumpkin pie in icicle form. And I lost count of how many brain freezes I got before I finished–I guess you’re not supposed to chug it through a funnel???

Steamed chicken two ways at Momofuku Kojin

So, we’re hanging out at Momofuku Kojin, this funky David Chang joint two floors above the noodle bar at University and Adelaide. Now, this place looks like a fancy steakhouse, with the red leather booths ‘n alll…but they’ve got The Buzzcocks, The Ramones, The Clash and Phil freakin’ Collins on the sound system, so you know it’s my kinda place, bro! And while we didn’t sleep on the steak, they’ve got this other dish that’s super-delish… steamed chicken in a pot, served up two ways:

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Now, once the chicken is cooked, they take the white meat, and serve it up with fried rice, crispy chicken skin, some chimichurri and cilantro… It even has a chicken wing!!!

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Man, this chicken is nice and tender, you’ve got a little kick from the chimichurri, some crunch from the chicken skin, and a little sticky rice to bring it all together. But then they take the dark meat and put it in a soup, son!!!

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Now, this right here is winner, winner, chicken soup dinner! And the gang’s all here—corn on the cob, potatoes…I think I even saw a green bean. This is totally a soup that eats like a meal… but you KNOW we still had room for steak, bro!!!

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This 33-oz PEI ribeye came with a whole lotta sauces and seasonings that I couldn’t even keep track of. The meat was definitely on the rare side of medium rare, but it still had a nice chew. Never thought I’d say this, though, but next time I hit up this steakhouse, I might just stick with the chicken…

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Drinking all the beer in Kensington Market

Some people might go to Kensington Market to buy groceries. Me, I go there to drink beer. And in the last few years, a whole buncha funky little joints have opened up that serve up the suds from all over this city. So this past weekend, we headed out to pound some of the best beers from the funkiest joints in the Market–right here, right now on Triple B:

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So, we’re starting our journey at Trinity Common, this funky little beer hall on Augusta, with a Clutch American pale ale from my Barrie bros at Redline Brewhouse. This beer might not be named after Neil Fallon, but I’d still put it on a five note!

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Now, for dessert we’re drinking Glace Noir, this funky black currant ice cream stout from Dominion City. This one totally kicks the funkaliciousness up a notch–you’ve got a nice, rich, fruity taste with a hit of stouty coffee flavour at the end. I don’t know how they do it, but they sure do it good, Ted Bro-gent!!!

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From there, we stumbled across the street to Supermarket, where the craftiest craft beer they had was this Space Invader IPA from Amsterdam Brewery. Dude, I couldda chugged a couple of these when I was actually playing Space Invaders at Get Well the other night

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And since it was getting to be around snack time, I scarfed down some pineapple chicken at Supermarket, too. You gotta love anything you can eat with a toothpick–and this was only like seven bucks, bro!!!

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Now, if you’re looking for some real-deal, local craft beer, Kensington Market’s got its own craft brewery–Kensington Brewing Co. Their tap room is pretty tiny, but they’re serving up beers with great big flavours, like this Qullqa Gose, with lemon verbana leaves, Himalayan mountain salt and cantaloupe juice. Dude, this is the best thing I’ve ever had with cantaloupe in it!!!!

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From there, we’re headed to Thirsty and Miserable, this little heavy metal dive bar that’s one of my favourite places to get Ozzy Osbourne wasted this side of Hamilton. Dude, they were crankin’ Deep Purple on the stereo as I slammed down this Godspeed Shiranami Hefeweizen. And since they’ve got an open-door, bring your own food policy…say hello to fish tacos, bro!!!!!!!

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(Grabbed this bad boy from the Taco Terminators at Seven Lives, along with dos de cabeza…which you know went straight into mi cabeza, hermanito!!!!)

Mash Up the Jam, muthafucka!!!!

Dude, the MC5 is turning 50 this year, and what better way to celebrate than by drinking beer? Come on and kick ’em out with this dry hopped sour from Collective Arts:

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OK, so the name of this beer is actually Mash Up the Jam, but that’s still closer to the MC5 than this “reunion” tour with dudes from Soundgarden and Fugazi. This brew is equal parts sour and hoppy, with hops from Seattle and New Zealand…and they’re serving it up on tap right now at Get Well, this funky joint on Dundas West that’s equal parts dive bar, pizza place and vintage video arcade. This place might be darker than a nuclear winter, but they’ve got a pretty sweet selection of craft beers on tap….like this one, right here:

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They call this one Hazer Quest, and it’s like a shot to the shoulder target in Flavourtown! This German IPA from Indie Alehouse has just the right amount of hops, and at 6.2%, it packs a pretty decent punch…

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Of course, you can’t expect me to go to a place that has beer and pizza, and not eat pizza, bro! North of Brooklyn is serving up the pies out the back, like this sonic punch to the tastebuds, the Killer Bee. You’ve got mozzarella, calabrese sausage, serrano peppers and pickled red onions, with a drizzle of honey bringing the sweet to beat the heat. But man, for me, pizza is like Lay’s chips–you bet I can’t eat just one, son!!!

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This original Triple B culinary creation has got pepperoni, mushrooms and black olives, some Buffalo mozza and tomato sauce, all on a sesame seed crust. The crust is what makes it, bro!!!

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Of course, a wicked awesome ‘za deserves a wicked awesome brewski–like this Wicked Awesome IPA from Nickel Brook Brewing. This one blasts fastballs like Nomah, and you don’t even hafta pahk yer cahr in Hahvahd Yahd to get it, Beantown bro!!!!

Sam Roberts Beer was born in a flame, bro!

Do you like Sam Roberts? I’ve been a big fan of their 2003 album, We Were Born in a Flame. After that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. But Born in a Flame had some great, great songs dude! Brother Down, Don’t Walk Away Eileen, Where Have All the Good People Gone? I’ve definitely opened a few brewskis to those tuneskis back in the day! Well now, the music of Sam Roberts Band is available…in liquid form:

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This balanced pub ale is equal parts English and American, with a dry, zesty finish. It’s a little bit malty, a little bit hoppy and a little bit rock ‘n roll, with just a hint of caramel. This beer is best served at a dingy dive bar like the Black Bull Tavern on Queen West, where a tallboy will set ya back about 10 bucks after tax and tip. Don’t walk away from this one, Eileen!!!!

 

Welp, I know who’s winning Le Burger Week Toronto…

While it might be spreading across the country, Le Burger Week in Toronto is still not really a thing. This year’s competition only includes six burger joints…and half of them aren’t even in the city. Hey man, I’m not gonna go to Norwood or Cornwall just for a burger—but I don’t mind heading over to my burger bros at Holy Chuck, home of the mac-tastic Go Chuck Yourself, where they’ve got a Le Burger Week special that’s gonna blow the (lack of) competition away!

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They call this one The Smokey Cowlorie, and it’s like breakfast, lunch and dinner in a bun. They start by taking their Smokey Cow burger, which you can get on the regular menu, and then they kick it up a notch. You’ve got a nice, juicy, double bacon burger, with some smokey, melty, aged cheddar cheese, a nice bite of maple on the bacon…and then they add a fried egg, and put it all between two grilled cheeses, son! The yolk broke on my first bite, making this one all ooey, gooey, big and mooey. It’s definitely got my vote, dude!!!