So, you might not know this about me, but I really like burgers. Well OK, if you’ve been here before, you probably knew that already–I’ve got an entire section of the site dedicated to Burgers, Bacon & Beer.
Now, I’ve had a whole lotta burgers in my lifetime, so many I’ve lost count. But these 10 really stand out. Get ready for some unctuous, scrumptious, funkaliciousness–these are the Top 10 burgers I’ve had in my life!
10. Chatelaine Homeburger
Believe it or not, but I actually found this recipe in Chatelaine magazine. You’re looking at a bacon double cheeseburger, topped with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion rings and a special Chatelaine sauce. Of course, we made the patties a lot bigger than the recipe, cuz that’s just how we roll, son!
When I went to NYC, I ordered the notorious Wollensky Burger, with blue cheese topping and a side of fries served in a miniature chef hat. The burger itself was $17.50, while the white-suited barkeep may or may not have comped me for the fries–the card-sized menu makes no mention whether they come with the sandwich. And hey, that might seem like a lot of bread for a sandwich, but believe me, you get a whole lotta burger for $17.50.
8. Cooperstown Baseball Burger
Just a Jose Bautista outfield assist away from the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Cooperstown Diner is serving up this baseball-sized burger with a side of fries and a batting helmet, cuz you’re gonna need it!
7. Primanti’s Pittsburgh Cheesesteak
Primanti Bros. is a Steeltown institution, serving up real-deal sammies 24-7 in the Pittsburgh Strip District. I believe I actually ate this for brunchfast, bro. You’ve got Angus sirlon steak ‘n cheese, with fries and coleslaw inside the sandwich, son! Who needs sides when they’re all on the inside?
Holy Chuck puts some of the craziest flavours you’ll find between two buns, son—and their fries are just as outrageous. But the big kahuna, mac daddy of them all is called Go Chuck Yourself. It’s got six patties, six slices of cheese, three strips of bacon, sautéed onions, lettuce and tomato, all between three grilled cheese sandwiches.
5. Five Guys Burgers and Fries
Probably the funkiest fast-food chain you’ll find, Five Guys serves up some real-deal, Fieri-sized burgers alongside enough fries to bludgeon a herd of elephants…if they don’t eat ’em all up first.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is available on The Burger’s Priest’s secret menu, and costs $25.29. What you’ve got here are two cheeseburgers and two cheese-stuffed mushrooms served between two grilled-cheese sandwiches. Dude, this burger is cheesier than a Poison reunion tour with Enuff Z’Nuff and Firehouse opening!
At Toma’s Burger Addiction, they call this The John Wayne, although I have no idea why. It’s more like the Everything But Tofu Burger, bro! You’ve got your beef, you’ve got your lamb, you’ve got your chicken…but it doesn’t stop there. You’ve also got double-smoked bacon, chorizo sausage, prosciutto and soppressata, along with some sautéed onions, y’know, for that one serving of veggies.
2. Ultimate Bacon Burger
This one’s a blast from the past, bro. Waaay back in 2012, for the first ever Burger Week, the Utopia Cafe on College St introduced this limited edition, awesome orb of super-duper bacony goodness. Y’see, this patty is made from an scrumptious combination of ground beef, ground pork and ground pork belly, with a nice slice of smoked provolone on top. Man, I’ve basically been dreaming about this burger for the last four years, bro. If they ever bring it back, I’ll be there in a heartbeat!
They call this sandwich the Mayor of Flavortown, and it’s sure got my vote. Thick slices of beefy pastrami piled on top of a well-done burger. Call your mommy, that’s a lotta pastrami! A bit of slaw and fried onion rings on top with fries on the side. And since it doesn’t come with the sandwich, I asked for a side order of Donkey Sauce…