Making me the most manliest $20 salad of all time

Now, I don’t normally eat salad. It’s definitely not one of the Triple B’s—Burgers, Bacon & Beer. (And there ain’t no Triple S’s, either! Shut the front door, silly!) About the only time I get any green in my diet is when I’m making double-down buffalo chicken burgers and I decide to put some lettuce and tomato on top. Which I don’t always do, mind you. But when I do, I always have a buncha lettuce left over. Cuz hey, I’m not making me some double-down buffalo lettuce burgers!

So, that’s when I go to Longo’s at Maple Leaf Square. Their salad bar is bigger than a five-hundred-thousand-dollar downtown condominium…which you can also find at Maple Leaf Square. And this place has got everything; tuna salad, French-fried potaters, a confused old man looking for insurance—it’s like TheBomb.com! So, here’s what I did. I went down there and made me the most manliest salad of all time. Hold the lettuce—I’ve already got some in the man-fridge.

OK, let’s break it down. What we’ve got here is some nice cold steak, some salmon, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Real Crab^TM, some potatoes, a couple hard-boiled eggs, macaroni salad and one little green thing, y’know, for colour. I tell ya, this salad’ll go pound for pound with anyone! Only problem is, Longo’s charges by the pound, so it cost me 20 bucks. But hey, I’ve still got me a winner winner, steak-salmon-crab-potato-egg-macaroni-salad dinner!