(Originally written February 8, 2013)
Now, doesn’t that just look delicious? Man, I could dive right into this platter and stay there for a week! Alas, only one human being has ever eaten this scrumptious spread in the alotted “one hour and it’s free,” some scrawny bloke named Robert Pinto. It says here he only weighs 11 stones!
Of course, it must be mentioned that Pinto’s a competitive eater. He finished the whole thing in 26 minutes–and here’s proof! How is it that skinny guys kick ass at competitive eating, anyways? I mean, The Great Kobayashi tips the scales at 128, but that man can put more meat in his mouth than a male escort on Pride Week! Me, I can barely make it through a corned beef sandwich at the Carnegie Deli without having a heart attack…
Oh yeah, he works out. To burn off the 6,000(!!!) calories, Pinto told The Sun “I went for a five-mile run, went to the gym and had a swim — you have to keep healthy.” Sure, that’s easy for you to say, Mr. I-eat-6,000-calories-in-26-minutes! (Oh, wait…)
It probably helps that he’s not chained to a desk, either. The Sun reports that when not devouring English breakfasts in a single round, Pinto “runs clothes shop C3 in Stamford.” Which, I presume, is a women’s clothing store… Hey buddy, nice blouse!