I’ve never met Maryland native Dan Janssen, but if our paths ever cross, I would buy him a pie. The 40-year-old became a global legend two years ago when his buddy Justin revealed that he’s been living off nothing but pizza for the past 25 years. And we’re not talking two slices and the bill, either. “I usually eat an entire 14″ pizza, and I only eat cheese pizza,” Janssen told Vice. “I never get sick of it. If I go to one pizza shop or another brand, it’s like eating a completely different meal.” Not to mention that you won’t be recognized as the guy who just ate a whole cheese pizza at lunchtime.
Waitaminnit, cheese pizza!? Turns out that Dan’s a vegetarian—he stopped eating meat in high school for “ethical reasons.” But the dude doesn’t like vegetables, either. “Nothing to me tastes as good as pizza,” he told the Baltimore Sun. “Why should I eat a carrot when I can eat pizza?” I can totally relate, bro! Why should I eat broccoli when I can eat a Baconator!?
Thing is, Dan’s pizza-only diet supposedly isn’t great for his health. Vice says “When his blood sugar dips into the danger zone, it sometimes results in his blacking out on the kitchen floor in his underwear with frozen food scattered around him.” But hey, that may or may not have happened to me last weekend. And a so-called Canadian food expert says “In cheese pizza, we can see there’s some of the food groups represented theoretically. But if we really break that down and think about the quality of ingredients and the amount of nutrients that they’re providing, it wouldn’t hold up to a home cooked meal.” Unless, of course, that home-cooked meal is a double-down Buffalo chicken burger dinner!
But while Dan’s buddies wonder how he’s even still alive, he’ll always be a hero in my books. This slice is for you, dude!