Daily Archives: March 29, 2016

Assembling the most heroic Hero Burger of all time

So, here’s the deal. In Toronto, we have this local chain called Hero Burger. You can even get ‘em at the ACC. And they offer you no shortage of options—a 4 oz patty, a 6 oz patty, two 4 oz patties—and that’s just the beef! I mean, you could get chicken or turkey or fish, but not in a double. You can even choose from five different buns, dude!

And that’s without talking about all the crazy toppings on top. You’ve got five different cheeses, six different sides, and funky options likes crispy onions, roasted red peppers, a fried egg, guacamole and beef bacon. So I sez to myself, “Dude, what would happen if I added all the crazy add-ons at once?” Well, for one thing, the burger would be freakin’ huge…

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And just wait till I unwrap it, bro! I will say I didn’t double down where it didn’t make sense. So I went with crispy onions over sautéed, and beef bacon over bacon strips (they might hafta take my Epic Meal Time card away). I also didn’t do the guac, cuz hey, who wants to pay 99 cents for guacamole? I don’t even add that charge at Chipotle, son! I did, however, pay 99 cents for a bamboo charcoal bun, cuz, let’s face it, those look pretty badass:

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OK, now let’s break it down. We’ve got goat cheese on top of one patty, and blue cheese on top of the other. And the very first thing I taste when I bite into this is the blue cheese. It’s pretty pungent stuff, and not everybody loves it, but if you don’t put it on your wings when you’re in Buffalo, they’ll deport you to Syracuse…

Next up, we’ve got a nice chew from the beef bacon, which has a little more texture than its porky cousin. The tomato and pickles added some freshness, and the fried egg packed on some extra protein. There was also a nice tangy flavour from the pineapple mango sauce, cuz hey, I had to get some fruit in there somewhere. And the bun had a nice texture; crispier and crunchier than your average burger roll. The one thing I didn’t really remember was the Portobello mushrooms. I hope they didn’t forget to put ‘em on, cuz I know I paid for them—sez so on my receipt, bro:

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Now, you might think an epic burger like this would set you back 77 bucks, or something, but as you see, it was only $24.42—and that’s after HST! (I mean, it’s not like I could ask them to hold the tax when I didn’t say to hold anything else, eh?)