You may not have heard about it yet, but a new Ontario law will force restaurants with more than 20 locations to include calorie counts on their menus, starting next year. They’ll also be forced to “flag” items that are high or very high in sodium. Some people want them to go even further, by putting a food wheel on the menu, including sodium, sugar and saturated fat. Man, I could spin that thing for hours—here’s hoping I land on saturated fat!
Now, we’ve still got another seven months before these rules kick in, but why wait till 2017 to increase your calorie count? Me, I’m starting next week, with five of Ontario’s unhealthiest meals. Keep checking this page for updates as I chow down all week!
Sunday: Milestones’ Prime Rib Hash (1,990 calories, 1,770 mg sodium)
Now, I know hash is usually made up of whatever’s left in the fridge after a big family dinner, but I still wanna know who came up with this recipe—seems like somebody went on a tequila bender with Anthony Bourdain till 2 am.
Monday: Boston Pizza’s Smoky Mountain Spaghetti and Meatballs (1,760 calories, 2,820 mg sodium)
These balls are so big, bro, that I had to cut ‘em in quarters—quarters!—before I shoved em down my piehole. And I’ve scarfed many a meatball in one bite, so that’s saying something!!!
Tuesday: Jack Astor’s Spicy Shrimp Fajitas (1,305 calories, 3,481 mg sodium)
Honestly, my only complaint about this dish was the mini tortillas they were served with. I like eating my fajitas like a wrap, not a taco, bro! That being said, I still finished five of them…
Wednesday: The Keg’s sesame tuna (582 calories, 3,928 mg sodium)
The Keg’s sesame tuna is more like a light snack, with only 582 calories. But this dish more than makes up for it in sodium. Health Canada says we should only eat 1,500 mg of sodium a day, so I got almost three times my daily dose in just one meal, bro!
Friday: The Burger’s Priest’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (I don’t even wanna know!)
What you’ve got here are two cheeseburgers and two cheese-stuffed mushrooms served between two grilled-cheese sandwiches. Dude, this burger is cheesier than a Poison reunion tour with Enuff Z’Nuff and Firehouse opening!