These lobster nachos weren’t all they’re cracked up to be

So last night, I hit up this funky joint called Lobster Monster, where they put lobster on everything. I mean, this place has lobster spring rolls, lobster poutine, and lobster freakin’ nachos, for frick’s sake! Bro, when I saw they had nachos topped with melted cheese, sausage, bacon, lobster, tomato, green onion, jalapeños and Sriracha aioli, I knew they had to make an appointment with my piehole. But as ridiculously awesome as that might sound, this dish turned out to be a bit of a bummer:

Now, in all fairness to the kitchen, I was with a very large group of people, so I can see why things got out of hand. But man, these dudes could use a lesson in nacho construction. Most of the chips didn’t even have cheese on them, except for a few in the middle. The rest were dominated by lettuce and tomato, of which they put a bit too much. There was only a few chunks of lobster and sausage spilling off to the side, and I think I only noticed one piece of bacon. They put raw red pepper instead of jalapeno, which was a weird choice, tossed a buncha onions onto 2-3 chips instead of distributing them evenly, and glopped on an overzealous amount of aioli in a couple spots, as you can see in this picture. Yo, mayo on nachos no es bueno, bro!

At least they made it up to me with a free dessert. This brownie mountain was topped with ice cream, whipped cream, M&Ms and peanuts. All that was missing was the lobster claw on top! Pretty sure I could eat three of these, bro…even after polishing off a plate of nachos!

Anyways, this funky neighbourhood joint did have some other awesome-looking dishes, and I might come back for the lobster poutine or the Monster Lobster Burger Tower…just as long as there’s no mayo anywhere near it.