OK, so here’s the deal. We’re hanging out at Tacofest, your all-day destination for all things inside a tortilla. Man, this place has everything: mariachi bands, a hot sauce bar, a mechanical bull shaped like an Old El Paso taco…and more tasty tacos than you can shake a stick of deep-fried butter at. Sadly, deep-fried butter on a stick was not on the menu; I guess I’ll hafta wait until The Ex or the Fried Parade for that one. But honestly bro, I had so many delicious tacos today that I probably didn’t have room for any deep-fried butter, anyways.
Fried-chicken taco with creamy slaw, corn and tomato salsa and pickled jalapenos, served up by my favourite dirty commie, Fidel Gastro. (I put too much habanero sauce on this one.)
Southern smoked short rib with baha slaw, pico de gallo, guacamole and house hot sauce. These are a few of my favourite things…
Albacore tuna ceviche with avocado puree and creamy slaw. They were sold out of sea urchin.
Oyster and button mushrooms with guajillo chili. Still waiting for those mushrooms to work their magic…
Cardinal Club taco with smoked chicken, double-smoked bacon, tomato, cheddar and a raspberry aioli. I give this one two arteries clogged up!
Fried Chihuahua cheese with tofu salsita and habaneros. Yo quiero more of this!
Jerk duck confit taco with pickled red onion, radish and apple slaw, parsley, crispy shallot and ramp aioli. And pickles too, apparently.
Tuna sashimi taco topped with mango pineapple and greens. This one’s so outta bounds that I ate it upside down!
This one’s the real-deal, outta-bounds, winner, winner taco dinner right here. Mac ‘n cheese taco with jalapeno Cheetos and Dr. Pepper pulled pork in a Jolly Rancher BBQ sauce. I’ve already called the number on the back of that card and told him to do what you want with my body!
Deep-fried king fish taco served with cabbage, carrots, pineapple, in-house tamarind and garlic sauce. Tamarind and garlic sauce, tamarind and garlic sauce, tamarind and garlic sauce for meeeeee!
Crispy cauliflower topped with avocado aioli and pico de gallo. Because I had to have at least one serving of vegetables today.
Cochinita pibil taco, which is Mexican for a whole pound o’ pork, hombre!
Now, you know me, even after eating all these tacos, I’ve still got room for dessert. Cuz you can’t have tacos without churros, yo!
And wait, there’s more…
Blueberry mojito ice pop with real blueberries frozen inside!
That’s right, I even had a dessert taco. This waffle was topped with cheesecake buttercream, crushed Golden and regular Oreos, with Nutella drizzle and a Swedish berry jalapeno sauce. And yes, you fold it in half and eat it like a taco, bro. No forks allowed!
After going toe-to-toe with so many tacos, I almost had to be airlifted outta there, but I made it home in one piece. I can’t wait to Feel the Bern tomorrow!!!
(I don’t even know which bands these are.)