My CFL drinking guide

(Originally written September 25, 2011)

Because I haven’t met any other die-hard Stamps fans in my now 11 years of living in Toronto, I have to find ways to keep myself amused–and intoxicated–when my team’s on TV.  Thus, I’ve come up with my own CFL drinking game.  The rules are simple: when the opposing team scores a touchdown, I down a beer.  But it can’t be just any old beer–I have associated each team in the league with a particular brand.  Here’s how it breaks down:

WESTERN DIVISION

BC Lions: Kokanee.  “Glacier fresh tasting Kokanee, it’s the beer out here!”  Because as much as a Lions score puts a bad taste in my mouth, I still don’t wanna drink crackhead piss.

Deadmonton Eskishmoes: Big Rock Grasshopper.  Whenever the Stamps meet the Eskies in the Battle of Alberta, I gotta go with the best-tasting Alberta beer that’s available in Toronto.  (Still hafta try that Wild Rose IPA…)

Saskatchewan Roughriders: Old Style Pilsner, what else?

EASTERN DIVISION

Hamilton Tiger-Cats: I used to drink Steelback when the Stamps played the Tabbies, but when they went belly-up last year, I decided not to switch to Steeler, even if it’s advertised at Ivor Wynne.  (You can only buy that stuff in hobo-sized 950 ml cans, anyways.)  Instead, I’ve switched to Tiger Beer, a pale lager from Singapore that’s actually quite tasty.  And yes, I do have a few of these in the fridge for today’s Touchdown Atlantic contest.

Ottawa Redblacks: Dinner Jacket O’Red IPA. Hey, it has an O for Ottawa and the word “red” in its name, and it comes in a black can adorned with the kind of outfit that Gros Jos would wear.

Montreal Alouettes: Molson Dry.  Because you haven’t been Montreal drunk until you’ve double-fisted half-a-dozen two-dollar Molson Drys at Les Foufones Electriques.  When you’re singing along to Bon Jovi, Mononc’ Serge and some French songs you’ve never heard before at 2 am, that’s Montreal drunk.

Toronto Argonauts:  Steamwhistle.  Even though the Argos aren’t very good,  I like to drink the best Toronto beer when they play my team.  Mind you, I only go through one sixer of Steamwhistle a summer, since I tend to attend the Stamps @ Argos game in person–and they don’t even serve it at Rogers Centre, which is right next to their freakin’ brewery!

Winnipeg Blue Bombers: Labatt Blue.  If I have to explain this one to you, you probably think the sky is clear.

Looking forward to the start of a new CFL season this year!

stamps_cup_champs.jpg

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3 thoughts on “My CFL drinking guide

  1. Pingback: The bitter taste of victory beer | Gruesome Chews

  2. Pingback: The bitter taste of victory beer | Burgers, Bacon & Beer

  3. Pingback: Kicking off football season with a strong red beer! | Burgers, Bacon & Beer

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