I came, I saw, I tasted tons of great Toronto eats!

Last time I was at Fort York was for a War of 1812 re-enactment, presented by the Conservative Party of Canada. (I played General Harper Lee.) But this time was a lot tastier. We’re talking Taste of Toronto, an all-day, four-day foodfest serving up some of the best dishes from all over this city.

Now as soon as I walked in and saw a long-haired dude roasting lamb on a spit, I knew that I was in the right place. They’re serving it up righteous-style with bulgar salad and some freaky tzatziki, dude!

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Now, I don’t always eat salad, but when I do, I make sure it’s got roast pork, crispy pork skin, peanuts and pickles on top. This Indonesian dish brings the heat like Doc Halliday in his prime!

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How do you make ribs even better? Cook ’em in a root beer sauce, toss some corn nuts on top and smother with a nice jalapeno puree. This dish was equal parts crunchy and munchy!

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Speaking of root beer, I’ve wanted to try Mill Street’s boozy version ever since I first heard about it in a back alley behind an A&W. (Don’t ask me what I was doing in a back alley behind an A&W.) And I gotta say, they really nailed it. The carbonation is spot on, nice fizz to it, and while it tastes a lot like root beer, it’s also got a good rummy, boozy, kick. I would smuggle six of these into a youth soccer game…and I don’t even have kids!

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Speaking of cool refreshment, this one goes straight down…to Mexico. Can you say avocado popsicle, bro? Man, this would go great with some frozen nachos!

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Of course, it wouldn’t be a food fest without some winner, winner fried-chicken dinner. This two-piece combo is served Taiwanese style with some red hot chili peppers and two kinds of dipping sauce. Can’t stop me Flea, I’m addicted to this chicken!

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Now, when I was a kid, I ate so much calamari at the Olive Garden that I think they even named an octopus after me. But I never had it inside a bamboo charcoal bun…until today.

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Speaking of burgers, I heard that the Richmond Station serves up a mean one. They stuff it with short rib and serve it medium-rare with beet chutney and aged cheddar on a milk bun. I wouldn’t normally pay 10 bucks for half a slider–pretty sure I could eat 12 of these–but in this case, it was worth every nickel (y’know, cuz we don’t have pennies anymore)!

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Now, most people would probably stop there, but most people don’t have a tattoo of Guy Fieri on their lower back. And you know Guy would go crazy for these real-deal burnt ends, served up on a wafer made out of sticky rice. Dude, this is body by burnt ends on a sticky-rice wafer!

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Now, the first time I went to Kintori Yakitori, they didn’t knock my socks off. But this time, I went with the squid. Cuz whether it’s grilled or deep-fried, you really can’t go wrong with calamari, chico!

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You know I saved the best for last, bro. This had to be the funkiest dish at the festival, and I found it. Say hello to my little friend porchetta pizza, with flor di latte, asparagus, a poached egg yolk and fresh basil:

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Dude, I haven’t eaten this much food since I scarfed down 17 tacos last weekend! And I’ve still got room for BBQ tonight, cuz that’s how I roll…literally. I just tucked my legs in and made like Randy Bachman all the way down to the subway, son!


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