So, I went to Vegas last weekend for a Blue Oyster Cult concert, and ended up spending so much money that I had to pawn the Camaro, bro! And no, I didn’t lose a fortune playing strip poker…I spent it all on food, son!
I did have some great eats, though. Here are some of the funky, hometown joints I hit up:
So you know we’re starting this culinary adventure where all the magic happens, Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen + Bar. Guy’s kitchen in NYC was kinda crappy…but Vegas is his home away from home, so you know it’s gotta be good.
We’re starting things off with the Vegas Fries, which are really more Buffalo fries than anything. These crispy spuds are drenched in hot sauce and smothered in blue cheese, and then you’ve got another shot of hot sauce to pour over top, along with some ranch dressing and shaved carrots, you know, for some calcium. Lemme tell ya, these spicy spuds will sure wake you up in the morning! I think I musta chugged 7 glasses of ice tea along with this…it’s even hotter than Guy’s Buffalo wing sauce!
They call this sandwich the Mayor of Flavortown, and it’s sure got my vote. Thick slices of beefy pastrami piled on top of a well-done burger. Call your mommy, that’s a lotta pastrami! A bit of slaw and fried onion rings on top with fries on the side. And since it doesn’t come with the sandwich, I asked for a side order of Donkey Sauce:
What the heck is donkey sauce? Well, it’s basically a paprika aioli–super thick with a little kick. I dipped it in fries, slathered some on pastrami and even dunked a bit of burger in it…but I probably wouldn’t put it on a flip flop.
Man, after eating all this I actually didn’t have room for dessert. I guess the pretzel potato chip cheesecake will hafta wait till next time…
So we’re hanging out at Naked City Pizza, this funky little dive on Paradise, right by UNLV and across from every gay bar in town–including the one that was on Bar Rescue and the owner didn’t like it so he shut it down.
Now, I don’t think the name of this place has anything to do with nudity–one thing’s for sure, they’re serving up some righteous pies that are all dressed up and about to go straight down my pie hole!
Now, they call this one The Stinger, and it’ll really leave a mark. This pie is packed with both beef and Buffalo-style chicken, along onions, hot peppers and jalapeños. They say it’s a Buffalo tradition, but I’ve never witnessed anything like this in Wide Right City!
Cuz yeah, the size you see here is their smallest. They actually call it the Wee size, and I don’t like to order anything with such a dainty name…but that’s definitely enough food for at least two people!
Of course, you can’t have Buffalo cuisine without chicken, and while they do have wings on the menu, I like eating things I can dip into other things…so I went with the Buffalo chicken dip instead. This cheese is stuck together so tight, you gotta fight it with a fork and knife, and they give you enough garlic breads for three people. I probably wouldda filled up just on bread, if they didn’t bring out my pizza pie just two minutes later. And even then, I still had to take some back to my place…
So, we’re hanging out at Pink Taco, this funky fresh Mexican joint at the Hard Rock Casino. This place is serving up every kind of Mexican food you can think of…and even a few that you can’t, like this Sonoran street dog.
Ok, let’s break it down. The dog is thick and juicy, you’ve got a nice crunch from the bacon. The jalapeño relish is sweet, not too spicy, and there’s a nice bite from the caramelized onions. Then on the side, you’ve got these crispy garlic fries, which go great with the plantain ketchup. This dish should be illegal it’s so good–one of the top five hot dogs I’ve ever had!
Of course, it ain’t Vegas without the buffets. I was gonna go to the Bacchanal Buffet at Caesars Palace, but when I got there at 10 am, the lineup was already 90 minutes long. I wouldn’t line up that long for front-row Lynyrd Skynyrd tickets, son, so I headed across the street to the Flamingo for their Paradise Garden feast.
Man, this place has everything–a pizza station, fresh-sliced bacon and sausage, unlimited mimosas and bloody marys, even a salad bar, in case you’re into that. And at 25 bucks after tax, it’s half the price of those other guys.
Plate 1: fried chicken, eggs Benny, pizza, pancakes, freshly sliced bacon
Plate 2: Tacos, corn on the cob, country biscuit, fried rice, mac n cheese and a green bean that fell onto my plate by accident
Plate 3: smoked salmon, fresh-cut sausage, scrambled eggs, nachos, mini burritos
Now, after this most scrumptious feast, I bet you’re asking “Could he possibly have room for dessert?” The answer, of course, is yes–but this piece of custardy chocolate cake oughtta do’er.