This six-patty burger just told me to go chuck myself (before I wruck myself)

So, when Holy Chuck opened up its brand-new burger joint at Yonge and Wellesley, I knew it was only a matter of time before I came rolling up in the Camaro. This place puts some of the craziest flavours you’ll find between two buns, son—and their fries are just as outrageous. But the big kahuna, mac daddy of them all is called Go Chuck Yourself. It’s got six patties, six slices of cheese, three strips of bacon, sautéed onions, lettuce and tomato, all between three grilled cheese sandwiches. Check out this melody, yo:

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That’s right, dude, it’s basically one triple grilled-cheeseburger on top of another triple grilled-cheeseburger. You could probably feed a family of four with this sandwich—if they all had small appetites. But for me, this is just dinner and a movie in Flavourtown.

Now, you’re probably wondering, how could I possibly shove this all down my piehole? Luckily, I’ve perfected my burger smooshing technique at the Guy Fieri Culinary Academy. So yes, this does all fit in my massive man mitts:

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Now, they’ve actually got a Go Chuck Yourself Challenge, where you get a free t-shirt if you finish the burger—and a large shake—in six minutes or less. Some righteous brozilla has the Wellesley record of two minutes 24 seconds, which has gotta be hard to beat. I wasn’t counting or anything; I think I mighta come close to six minutes. But 2:24, bro!? That dude is like a Greek god in Flavourtown!

You might think that sounds super redonkulous, but it’s actually pretty easy to pound this many patties in such little time—if you’ve got big hands and an even bigger appetite. Unlike that time when I ate that 67 oz steak, a burger of these epic proportions doesn’t make you stop and cut it up, so you can just dive right in. I didn’t even start feeling full till the last couple bites, and it didn’t really hit me until I was on my way home. Maybe next time, I’ll go for the shake, too…

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(Yeah, you could say things got a little greasy back there…)

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