The only thing stopping me from biting into this burger is my small and modest mouth!

(Originally written January 7, 2014)

Now, I’m no stranger to looking up weird Japanese shit on the internet, so it’s no surprise that I recently stumbled upon this ad campaign by national chain Freshness Burger, which has reportedly boosted sales by 213%.  Apparently, Japanese women are not allowed to open their mouths wide in public–which makes me wonder how anyone ever eats anything, but I digress.

It seems that this cultural practice known as “Ochobo” had been preventing female customers from biting down on burgers like this one, so to solve this problem, Freshness came up with the Japanese face napkin seen above.  It may look like she’s smiling, but she’s really chowing down on a Classic Burger…presumably with her third hand.  Like I said, the Japanese are into some freaky shit!

In any case, my kinda hangout is one where Japanese folks chow down on monstrous meat patties with heavy metal blaring in the background.  Y’know, like in this commercial:

(Remind me to bring one of these next time I go to the Heart Attack Grill…)

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