(Originally written March 19, 2014)
Not gonna lie, they sucked me in with the burgers. I mean, you could have a hamburger show starring Justin Bieber and Nickelback, and I’d probably still watch it–with the volume on mute, mind you. That being said, the celebrities on Wahlburgers aren’t quite as reprehensible. Hey, the New Kids on the Block had more talent than Bieber…I guess.
In any case, this show is a lot less about the burgers, a lot more about the Wahlbergs. It’s about a family who grew up poor and made it rich, due to the second-youngest joining one of the first boy bands, and the baby of the family putting on a 13-inch prosthetic penis. (That fake dick made Mark’s career!) Their brother Paul might make the burgers, but really, their mom is the star of the show. I’m pretty sure she’s getting her own spinoff sooner than you can say “Barry’d Treasure!”
Speaking of spinoffs, that Toronto Wahlburgers is supposed to open sometime this summer. I’m not going to be one of those people lining up to take the first bite or anything–c’mon man, it’s just a hamburger!–but I might go there for lunch and watch a movie afterwards.
UPDATE: OK, so I’ve been to the Toronto Wahlburgers a couple times, and it’s not too shabby. If you’re in town, try the turkey club sandwich!