Actual alcohol history: Toronto hipster steals $26,000 scotch

(Originally written April 23, 2013)

True story: On my 19th birthday, I walked into my nearest LCBO to buy some birthday booze.  I was somewhat surprised when the clerk didn’t ask to see my ID—and immediately disappointed that I hadn’t started shopping there at the beginning of my freshman year.  As it turns out, I only walked away with an unverified ID and a six-pack of Labatt Blue…  which pales in comparison to the $26,000 bottle of scotch some middle-aged hipster pilfered without paying.

As the CBC reports, “According to police, a man went into a downtown Toronto LCBO store earlier this month and pulled a rare 50-year-old Glenfiddich Single Malt scotch out of a glass case in the vintage section.”  You’d think that a bottle worth more than a secretary’s starting salary wouldn’t be kept out in the open—but wait, it gets better.  “Police said the man also selected a bottle of wine, which he took the counter and paid for, but left the store without settling up for the scotch.”  Hey, is that a rare bottle of 50-year-old scotch in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

How rare are we talking?  The CBC states there are only 50 bottles of this stuff in the world, 15 of which happen to be in Ontario.  My guess is that 12 of those 15 are located at either their Bay St or King St locations…

Well, make that 11.  Police are on the lookout for a white male “35 to 45 years old, 5’10”, clean-shaven with black-framed glasses,” who “was last seen leaving the store wearing a Burberry plaid shirt, brown hat, brown trench coat, and black jeans” as per the CBC—suspiciously wearing the trenchcoat over his right arm.  I’m guessing it wasn’t a Burberry trench, though; unless he stole the jacket, too!

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