Actual alcohol history: U.S. company tries to sell scotch in a can

(Originally written January 9, 2012)

Have you ever thought “Man, I just can’t finish this 40 in one sitting—if only they sold scotch in can!”?  Well young drinker, your wish is about to come true!  According to the Toronto Star, a company called Scottish Spirits intends on selling 3-year-old blended scotch whiskey in 355 ml containers for five bucks a pop.

There is some cause for concern, however.  First of all, there are still some design issues to iron out—they’re apparently still working on a re-sealable top for those who don’t intend on consuming 12 ounces in one sitting.  But perhaps more ominously is the fact that this canned beverage might not be real Scotch at all.  Well bugger me bagpipes, laddie!

The Scotch industry, enshrined in British legislation, has a clear definition of what is or isn’t Scotch whiskey.  And apparently Scottish Spirits doesn’t cut the haggis.  There is no evidence, the Scotch Whisky Association said in 2010, of a distilling plant in Scotland. “I can’t find anybody who is standing up and saying they’re making it,” a dedicated Scotch blogger told The Star.

Apparently, the product is being bottled and canned in Orlando, which only seems fitting for such a Mickey Mouse outfit.  No word as to when we might see it in stores…

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