Daily Archives: January 4, 2017

LITTLE TOKYO: Eating all the sushi @ Kyoto House

Toronto’s hottest culinary area is turning Dundas St. West Japanese. In just a couple blocks, you’ve got sushi, mochi, curry, ramen and bubble tea–not to mention that freakin’ cheesecake place (no one goes there anymore though, bro!). Now, the only thing I know how to say in Japanese is “Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto,” but I still figured I’d try to eat everything…before Godzilla does.

Kyoto House has been here long before this was the place to be, and they’re serving up real-deal, funkalicious, all-you-can-eat sushi for breakfast, lunch and dinner son! (Breakfast not included.) Now, I don’t always eat sushi, but when I do, I eat all I can. So you know this place is right up my alley, bro!

kyoto_house_menu-3This should be enough to start, I think?


So, we’re starting off with the pork katsu cutlet, a crispy Japanese dish that’s super delish. Pretty sure I polished off this place in less than 60 seconds, son!


This basket of deep-fried deplorables is like a culinary magic show in Flavourtown. You’ve got Japanese spring rolls, deep-fried gyoza dumplings, but the star of the show is the calamari. A nice, light, crispy tempura breading served up over an uber-chewy squid. Five stars!


Now, this is what 30 pieces of sushi looks like, right here. You can barely fit it all on one plate! And you’ve got pretty much all the greatest hits: the Boston roll is Smokin’ with salmon and cucumber, the Tokyo roll throws a little avocado into the mix, and the Rock ‘n Rolls are Spinal Tap approved. But the one that really threw me for a loop was the BBQ salmon skin and cucumber roll. The skin was so crispy, I didn’t even miss the fishy, bro!


And then you’ve got the sashimi, a perfect plate of red snapper, surf clam and crab. Great chew on all of these, but I though the snapper was the snappiest. Now, I was getting a little full from all this food, but nobody wants to be the guy who goes to an all-you-can-eat sushi plate and only fills out one card, so you know I had to be ready for round two:


I went back to see what I missed on the menu the first time around, and ordered up some sixers of spicy crab, shrimp tempura and crunch rolls. What’s a crunch roll, you ask? Well, it’s when they take tempura flour, masago and mayo and turn it into a crunchy orange concoction that helps me hang on. This is like the Crunch Wrap Supreme of sushi, son! Pretty sure I could slam 17 of these…if I hadn’t eaten 54 pieces of sushi already.


But you know that after eating enough fish to make Trey Anastasio yell “Wilson,” I still had enough room for dessert, son! Well, actually, not really. I had told my Little China Doll to cancel the ice cream order I indicated on the card, but then, not even two minutes later, another geisha girl stops by with this yin-yang of Flavourtown: one scoop red bean, and one scoop green tea. Hey, if you’re gonna put ice cream in front of me, there’s no way I’m not gonna eat it!!!

And you know what the crazy thing is? All that grub only cost me $13.99 plus tax, dude!!!! That’s less than a Molson Canadian at the Air Canada Centre, son! Come to think of it, it might just be the best 14 bucks I’ve ever spent…