Now, Gonzaga didn’t win it all this year, but the Final Four weekend wasn’t a total bust. For one thing, I got to see Sir Charles Barkley jump around to some old-school House of Pain, which is a memory I’ll cherish forever…oh, and I also got to defeat some sweet eats, son! So, in the spirit of the Final Four, I’m pitting my Phoenix meals head-to-head in a Flavourtown showdown, to see whose cuisine reigns supreme. The iron refs can’t possibly screw this one up, can they?

GLENDALE BRACKET

Gridiron Grill vs. Crave Waffle Sandwich Creations

Now, the lineup for food at University of Phoenix Stadium was longer than Adam Morrison’s NBA career (still love the mullet though, bro!), but the grub itself actually wasn’t bad. On the other hand, Crave Waffle Creations was one of the only places in the Westgate Entertainment District that didn’t have a big line to get in on Championship Monday. One bite of their overly crispy chicken, and I knew why.

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER: Gridiron Grill

DOWNTOWN BRACKET

Alice Cooper’stown vs. La Piazza

Now, this one would definitely be the late game, cuz it’s like UNC vs. Oregon in Flavourtown, son! You’ve got Alice Cooper’s sports bar, serving up real-deal BBQ and 22-inch hot dogs up against this funkalicious Triple D Neapolitan-style pizza joint. They’re both number one seeds in my bracket, bro! But while I gotta give Alice the edge for the tuneage, ambiance, and showing hockey on the big screen, the Italian Stallion hits a game-winning three pointer at the buzzer to advance to the Flavourtown Championship!

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER: La Piazza

FLAVOURTOWN TITLE GAME

Gridiron Grill vs. La Piazza

Even though Gridiron Grill had the home court advantage, they still couldn’t compete with the pizza dudes from downtown. La Piazza is draining triples all day, bro–this game’s over at halftime!

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN LUNCH AND DINNER: La Piazza