Monthly Archives: June 2017

Harvey’s Bacon Poutine Burger is like Canada Day on a bun!!!!

Duuuude, does it even get any more Canadian than this!!!???? You’ve got a Made in Canada burger chain, serving Canadians from coast to coast since 1959, rolling out a limited edition homage to one of the greatest culinary creations in Canadian history. Shut the back door, eh?

Do not adjust your monitor settings, son! They really do take a flame-grilled Angus burger, stick some GFC–gravy, fries & curds–on it, and then top it anyway you want it (if that’s the way you need it)! This burger is on a journey to the centre of my piehole–don’t you stop believin’, bro!!!!

Of course, you can’t order an Ultimate Canadian Bacon Poutine Burger with a side salad. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in at least two or three provinces. So I went all in and doubled my bet with a side of bacon poutine. Cuz why settle for just one poutine when you can have two, eh????

If you stick a chicken finger inside a flatbread, is it still fast food?

Now, I haven’t been to KFC since they ditched the Double Down, but when I heard they were serving up a new Kentucky Flatbread in a box with a buncha other stuff for five bucks, I was all over that like Guy Fieri freebasing chicken base and garlic salt, bro!

Now, this box don’t look like much when you pop the hood, but on the inside, you’ve got popcorn chicken, fries, a chocolate chip cookie, and this finger lickin’ monstrosity in Flavourtown:

Now, even though this sammy came pre-wrapped, the chicken tender was nice and hot when it hit my face. You’ve got a nicely seasoned strip of the Colonel’s Original Recipe, some shredded lettuce and pepper mayo, all inside a cold, crusty bread vessel! OK, so it’s no Jamaican jerk patty double down, but at five bucks a pop, that’s a better deal than I get from my chicken-base-and-garlic-salt vendor, broski!!!

IT’S EVEN GLUTEN-FREE!!!!

How many fajitas can you faj-eat-a?

Is there anybody on the planet who doesn’t like fajitas? I’d hope not–that’s like a lifetime sentence with no parole in Flavourtown County Jail, bro! So when I heard that Montana’s was serving up all-you-can-eat fajitas–but only for a limited time–I knew I needed to get my fajita fix on…even if I had to go all the way out to Etobicoke to get it!

Now, the deal is you can have unlimited chicken or shrimp, with all the fixin’s, but after starting you off with a full skillet, they bring out smaller plates for seconds, thirds and fourths. Most people could not handle more than a second helping, but for me, this is where I get my money’s worth–and then some, son!

So, we started off with chicken, pat you on the back and say pleeeeease. All I had to eat up to this point was a six-inch “chicken” sandwich from Subway, so you could say these disappeared pretty quickly.

Order number two came just in the shrimp of time, with seven sizzling shrimp on a hot plate. This is pretty much only equal to two fajitas in Flavourtown, so I scarfed these down in less time than it takes to slip out of a RompHim!

The second helping of chicken took a little longer to arrive, and it was much smaller than the first. I mean, I’ve seen more chicken than this in a Subway “chicken” sandwich! This is just a light snack in Flavourtown, and it was on to the next one before you could say “Where’s the beef, bro!?”

This shrimp platter was pretty heavy on veggies, and they didn’t even chop up the onions much at all. I guess they wanted me to fill up on crunchy stuff, or something. Well, I guess they succeeded. After polishing off this plate, I only had room for two bites of a churro ice cream sandwich for dessert!!!! 😦 😦 😦

I CAME, I SAW, I CHOWNQUERED!!!!

Kicking off football season with a strong red beer!

Last year’s Grey Cup between Calgary and Ottawa was an all-time classic. I was right there on the goal-line when the Stamps tied it up late in the fourth quarter…only to lose in OT at the other end. And now, we’ve got not one, but two rematches to start the CFL season, starting tonight in the nation’s crapital.

Now, when it comes to football, you know I’m crackin’ cold ones, son, and tonight is no exception. I’ve got a fridge fully stocked of Dinner Jacket O’Red IPAs for every time those wannabe lumberjacks make it into the end zone…which probably won’t happen too often, but I’ll be prepared, just in case.

Now, when my team gives up a touchdown, I like to drink one per cent of alcohol for every point scored—so at 6.3%, this beer is pretty much perfect. And with 60 IBUs, it’s a pretty bitter brew…but not as bitter as the REDBLACKS fans will be when we take back the Cup in Ottawa this year!

GO STAMPS GO!!!!

This ain’t yer average fried chicken sandwich!

So last summer, I spent a buncha time over at Front Street Foods, this pop-up street food market at York and Adelaide. Now they’re back till the end of July, which a much better name: Adelaide Eats, son! (I would put that on a t-shirt!) A lot of the familiar cast of characters has returned–you’ve got Tacos 101, you’ve got Wahlburgers, you’ve even got a pop-up Momofuku stand–but there’s a couple new faces as well, like this funky little place called District 28.

This local Leslieville joint is serving up bowls and sammies, but at Adelaide Eats, they’ve got this off-menu delicacy…say hello to my little friend buttermilk fried chicken!!!!

Now, you may be wondering how it got to be so red. Turns out they’ve got this tangy Tahitian treat BBQ sauce that they smother it in. And then they douse it with chipotle maple aioli, and throw down a crunchy dill pickle mango slaw on top. Dude, it’s like a Culinary Summerslam in Flavourtown, son! Did I mention it’s all on a brioche bun??? Boomshakalaka!

It’s a beef, it’s a pork… No, it’s a pulled lamb sammy, bro!!!

Now, you might have heard by now that I loves me some lamb. Whether it’s lamb chops, lamb ribs, or the multi-meat monstrosity known as the Lamb, Sea and Air Burger, you know that if it goes baa-baa black sheep, it’s heading straight down my piehole! So when I heard that Museum Tavern, this funky little joint on Bloor Street, was serving up pulled lamb sammiches, I made like Mary and moseyed on down, dude!!!!

Now this dish has just about everything I love about Greek food. You’ve got feta cheese, you’ve got green olives, pickled red onions and arugula–and then there’s this zingy harrisa mayo that really kicks it up a notch. Dude, this is body by harrisa mayo, bro! But it wouldn’t be a Play Along without Lamb Chops, and I gotta say, this lamb is legit! It’s kind of a cross between roast lamb and braised beef in the texture department, while still giving you a nice chew. And dude, this thing is even bigger than a Subway panini! Pretty sure I could still slam at least three of these, though…

Scarfing down on sausage at Taste of Toronto 2017!

So last year at Taste of Toronto, I kinda pigged out a bit. And speaking of pigging, it seemed like every place had some sorta hot dog at this year’s festival. But it wasn’t just pig we’re talking ’bout here–they’ve got duck, lamb and even wild boar, bro! And every time you put a tube of meat between two buns, you know I’m down with that, son!!!

This grilled duck dog from my main man Mark McEwan is pretty outta bounds, bro! You’ve actually got duck three ways here–there’s the sausage itself, topped with foie gras mousse, and these crispy little bits of duck bacon. Dude, this is body by duck bacon! And then you’ve got a spicy Russian mustard, onion jam and some crisp spring onion, all on a poppy seed bun. Shut the back door!

Now, I wasn’t really ready to go right back into the ring with sausage after that delicious duck dish, but then I saw ’em cooking up the green chorizo on the grill at Bar Raval, and I was all over that like chili on cheese fries! Probably one of the most tasty, flavourful sausages I’ve even eaten–and it comes with piri piri chicken, to boot! That’s like a two-for-one after-school special in Flavourtown!!!!

Of course, it’s always French Fry Time in Flavourtown. And Nota Bene was serving these spuds up okonomiyaki style! You’ve got the kewpie mayo, the tempura bits and the nori flakes…but the fries kinda tasted like McDonald’s, though!!!

But that ain’t even the only okonomiyaki game in town, bro! This char siu bao from my homies at Kanpai Snack Bar was completely off the hook! You’ve got all kindsa crunchiness from the purple slaw, spring onions, bacon bits and bonito flakes, and beneath all that, there’s some nice ‘n tender porky goodness. It’s like a Secret Garden of Funk in Flavourtown!!!

Now, you might be getting full at this point, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there’s always room for beef brisket. Barque Smokehouse is one of my top three BBQ joints in the city, and they’re taking brisket south of the border with this pulled brisket tostada! You’ve got brisket, salsa and avocado crema all on a crispy tortilla chip–pretty sure I could slam seven more of these!!!!

Now, you know I’ve had wild boar before, bro. I’ve even put it on poutine. But deep-fried wild boar on a stick!? Shut the back, front and side doors, son! Antler Kitchen and Bar won the Taste the World challenge in 2016, and it’s not hard to see why with flavours this baller!

Now, when it comes to world flavours, I have had fried chicken from Korea, Taiwan and Kentucky, but this Indonesian-style ayam goreng was new to me. It’s kinda like chicken karaage, except with this spicy sauce on top, and they serve it with a side of war fries, which are kinda like a Tony Iommi guitar solo in Flavourtown! You’ve got some thick, crunchy spuds topped with pickled chilies, green onions, mayo and peanut sauce. These fries are TheBomb.id, bro!!!

This is el primo prime rib sando, bro!

So, we’re hanging out at Bar Wellington, this friendly neighbourhood spider-joint just west of Spadina in a rapidly redeveloping part of the city. Now, this old house was built in 1891, but their menu is brand spankin’ new, bro! They’re serving up comfort-food lunchtime classics like french onion soup, grilled chicken club and even a chorizo mac ‘n cheese…but when I see prime rib on the menu, you KNOW I’m digging in. Check out this funky righteous jam, brother!

They call this not your average prime rib sandwich, and I assure you, it’s anything but ordinary. The beef is sliced thin, tender and nicely seasoned. But then you’ve got roasted tomato, avocado and melted cheese, please! All that, and they serve it up on garlic toast–that’s like a toasty Triple B teaser in Flavourtown! And for 16 bucks, it ain’t a bad price either, Bro-rannosaurus Rex!!!!

Smoked BBQ corned beef, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Smoke Bourbon, this funky neighbourhood BBQ joint on a residential stretch of Harbord Street, just a couple blocks away from Bathurst. Now, when it comes to barbecue, this place has some of the best deals you’ll find all over this city! Last time I was here, I had a yuuuge slab of beef ribs and two sides for just 19 bucks. But this time, I paid even less than that…check out this hunka-hunka smokin’ meat!

Now, it’s not every day you’ll see corned beef in a smokehouse, son! They take this Jewish deli classic and smoke it for 14 hours before slicing off two big portions for this 18-dollar dinner. The meat is nice and tender, falls apart on your fork, you’ve got some tang from the dill pickles and a nice crunchy slaw…but the mac is what makes it. This shit is macktastic, bro!!!!

(Cuz apparently, I didn’t eat enough mac ‘n cheese last weekend or something…)

Holy Vegan Poutine Pizza, Batman!!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at FuBar, this friendly neighbourhood heavy metal joint across from Christie Pits in Koreatown. This place is serving up local craft beers and blasting out killer tunes from 4 pm until 10–and downstairs, they’ve serving up the best vegan pizza I’ve ever had in my life at this funky little joint called Apiecalypse Now! They’ve even got a killer pie named after Slayer, but when I saw they were putting poutine on a pizza, I was all over that like Tom Araya at a Trump rally!

This pizza is like a Renegade of Funk in Flavourtown, bro! You’ve got some thin & crispy spuds, a legit vegan gravy, these little Buffalo-style soy nuggets, all served up on a nice, crisp crust! While you don’t quite get the texture of squeaky cheese curds from the vegan mozzarella, it does capture the saltiness you would expect from a poutine. This dish is bananas, and bananas are good!

In fact, I would even say this here is the best vegan dish I’ve ever had…and I’ve had more than one vegan dish before, bro! (Like, maybe three or four?)

HORNS UP IN FLAVOURTOWN!!!!

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