Now, you mighta seen the ads for Mandarin on TV, but if you want a real-deal Chinese feast, you gotta head east to Dragon Pearl Buffet, bro! This oriental palace is up by York Mills and Leslie, which is a little outta the way for me, but if there’s all-you-can-eat anything, you know I’m there with flip-flops on! And I didn’t hafta sell my bling-bling at a pawn shop to eat here, either–all this delicious grub will only set ya back 30 bucks after tax! That’s like a five-finger in discount in Flavourtown–or should we say five-plate discount, bro? OK, let’s break it down:
Our first trip around the sun has me scarfing down some squid, BBQ ribs, dumplings, chicken balls, deep-fried chicken wings, spring rolls, siu mai and some wish buns…which is when you have a steamed bun, and you wish you had some meat in it, son!
This nutritionally balanced breakfast features two kinds of noodles, a double dose of deep-fried shrimp, Chickity China the Chinese chicken, pineapple-glazed ribs…and I think I mighta buried some beef in there, too!
For Round 3, we’re throwing down black bean mussels, two kinds of sushi, grilled salmon, sweet ‘n sour chicken, lemon chicken without the sauce (I dun goofed, bro!) and some Peking duck, which I totally turned into a taco:
We’re taking this one down to Flavourtown Chinatown, bro!!!!
Was I getting pretty full at this point? Yeah, a little bit. But YOU KNOW I’ve always got room for prime rib, bro!!!! This fresh-carved beef bomb was a little on the well-done side of medium, but it still goes great with some mashed potatoes, gravy and mini Yorkshire puddings, mate!
And there’s no way I can slay a buffet without saving room for dessert! This fully loaded sundae is equal parts chocolate and strawberry, with chocolate sprinkles, rainbow sprinkles AND marshmallows! And I probably wouldda had more, too, if they’d given me a bigger bowl….