FLAVOURTOWN OLYMPICS: First we beat the Swiss, then we eat fondue!

So, Canada kicks off the men’s hockey tournament against the Swiss tomorrow, but me, I’m still celebrating after we kicked their ass in mixed doubles curling. I was like hurry, hurry, hard all the way home, big bad broseph!!!!

So now we’re hanging out at Bier Markt, this funky Euro craft beer joint on King Street West. Man, this place has everything: weiner schnitzel, smoked gouda, even some duck wings, bro! But you know I’m here for one reason only. We already beat the Swiss, and now it’s time for fondue:

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They call this one The Big Cheese, and it’s cheesier than that upcoming Poison reunion tour, bro! You’ve got Raclette, you’ve got Emmental and some white wine, along with potatoes, pretzels and baguette bread for dipping. The only thing missing was an ice cold brewski–oh, wait!!!

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Now, I don’t always drink beer from Vancouver, but when I do, I prefer Lions Winter Ale. This seasonal slobberknocker looks like a red beer, but it’s got this totally chocolately taste that would make Count Chocula’s head spin. Man, Team Canada could probably slam a few of these…and still beat the Swiss tomorrow, bro!!!

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FLAVOURTOWN OLYMPICS: Norwegian national cake @ Karelia Kitchen

Right now, Norway is leading the way at the 2018 Olympics with nine medals–seven of them in cross country skiing or ski jumping. (They don’t call it nordic combined for nothing, dude!) For the Norwegians, dominating these disciplines is a piece of cake–make that Kvæfjordkake:

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This Norwegian national dessert glides through your mouth like Maren Lundby on a ski jump, bro! Basically, you take meringue, and top it with cream and almonds, with a couple extra layers of cream inside. This super-creamy cake dreamy also goes great with a Kissmeyer Nordic Pale Ale after some smoked fish and chicken, like they’re serving up at Karelia Kitchen!

READ MORE: This is northern style barbecue, bro!

FLAVOURTOWN OLYMPICS: Wicked awesome underground Korean chicken, bro!

Dude, you KNOW I love the Olympics, bro! You’ve got curling, you’ve got two-man luge–and my personal favourite, the ice dance. So now that the Olympics are underway in PyeongChang, I’m gonna be chowing down on delicious dishes from every country that should win at least a few medals. (No Olympic Mad Eats from Russia, bro!!!) Starting off with this funky chicken from the host country:

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Now, if you’ve ever walked down the yellow brick road also known as the PATH in Downtown Toronto, you may or may not have seen this place. Right as you’re about to head out of 121 King Street, there’s this funky little Korean stand on the corner called Hoga–you might notice the lineup. People go nuts for this stuff! Man, they’re serving up all kinds of Korean and Asian eats, from bulgogi to katsu, kimchi to japchae. But my personal favourite is this kickin’ Korean chicken.

It’s got enough heat to wake you up in time for the short-track speedskating semi-finals, but it won’t wipe you out–unlike certain Korean short-track speedskaters. And dude, all this food is still only about seven bucks after tax. You won’t get that kinda screamin’ deal at the athletes’ village!

READ MORE: I found this underground Korean food joint in the PATH, and it’s pretty amazing

WINTERLICIOUS 2018: Tacos ‘n chicken ‘n waffles…oh my!

Welp, that’s another Winterlicious in the books, and this year might have been the best one yet. Over the past two weeks, we chowed down on Brazilian BBQ, deep-dish pizza, beef brisket pie and a winner, winner steak dinner. But I just might be saving the best for last with one of my favourite comfort-food classics. I’m talking chicken ‘n waffles, son!

So, we’re hanging out at Insomnia, this funky little date night/brunch spot in The Annex. Man, I used to slam some pulled pork benedicts when I lived in this hood, bro! But since I’ve been gone, they’ve started putting it on a taco:

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Now, I can’t say this was the best taco I’ve ever had. It wasn’t even the best pulled pork taco I’ve ever had. I’m a little hot and cold on this dish…because the dish was a little hot and cold. The pork was warm, but the slaw, and some of the toppings were cold as ice, ice baby. I’m not willing to sacrifice our love over this one, son!

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But lemme tell ya, they more than made up for it with the main course. The boneless chicken thighs were plump ‘n juicy, you’ve got just the right amount of purple slaw, some sweetness from the honey maple butter, and a little bit of hot sauce. The waffles were the perfect vessel to guide this dish straight down my piehole, bro! You KNOW I scarfed it all down, and still had room for dessert!

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Now, this piece of chocolate cake wasn’t quite as impressive as the one at Wildfire Steakhouse, but it was still a pretty decent-sized slice. There’s gotta be at least three layers of chocolate here, and then you’ve got some chocolate sauce on the plate and white chocolate swirls on top… There is nothing wrong with that, at all!

WINTERLICIOUS 2018: My oh my, beef brisket pie!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Liberty Commons, the funky Big Rock brewpub in Liberty Village. Now, when we were here for Summerlicious last year, the soup was super tasty, the beer-fried dough for dessert was legit, but the beef brisket was cold and fatty. Dude, cold and fatty is what my ex-wife calls me!!!!

But when I heard they were bringing back the brisket inside a cornish pastry as part of their Winterlicious lunch, you KNOW I was ready to come back, bro! But first, here’s some ale-cured smoked salmon:

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Now, I don’t always eat fish, but when you soak it in beer, I’m all in! You’ve got some house-made creme fresh, pickled onions and a couple sprigs of green stuff, all on a Montreal-style boiled bagel. I could probably have eaten 2-3 of these, but then I wouldn’t be so hungry for the brisket:

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Man, this meat just melts in my mouth, bro! The brisket is super-tender, then you’ve got these carrots and potatoes, all inside a flaky crust. With apologies to The Pie Commission, this might be the best meat pie I’ve ever munched on, Bro-sephus!

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Of course, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! They call this beer-amisu, and I call it magically delicious! You’ve got a chewy, ooey-gooey pumpkin marscapone, soaked in Big Rock Coffee Porter, instead of your regular cuppa joe. This almost tastes like pumpkin pie, but, y’know, with beer on top…

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Of course, one does not simply go to a brewpub to sip honey-spiced mead. This Big Rock Pilsner is much better. Pretty sure I slammed at least four of these… Dilly Dilly, Brozilly!!!!

WINTERLICIOUS 2018: Imagine steak and shrimp, and chocolate cake…

So, we’re hanging out at Wildfire Steakhouse, this upscale cow palace on Yonge Street, a few blocks north of Lawrence. This place might not look like much from the outside, but once you walk in, it’s pretty fancy-schmancy. And their Winterlicious menu is massive, bro–you get to pick from eight apps, eight mains and four desserts, all for 43 bucks!

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So, I started with a six pack of shrimp, broiled in butter and garlic with a buncha panko breadcrumbs. The scampi were cooked perfectly, nice and juicy. Just a light snack in Flavourtown!

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Now, while the ribs and the lamb shank both seemed like solid choices, if I’m gonna go to a steakhouse, you KNOW I’m having the steak. So I went with the seven-ounce filet mignon, cooked to a perfect medium rare. This meat melts in your mouth like butter, bro! But man, I gotta say, I did not taste any garlic in the garlic mashed potatoes…

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Now, I’ve been complaining about some of the teeny-tiny desserts these other restaurants are serving for Winterlicious, but when it comes to Wildfire, I’ve got no beef whatsoever. Dude, this slice of chocolate cake is big enough for three people–but you KNOW I scarfed it all down, bro!!!!

WINTERLICIOUS 2018: That’s a big ol’ messy burger, bro!!!

Now the Cactus Club is pretty big out west–I’m pretty sure Vancouver runs on Cactus Club, bro! But like a lot of these chains that started off in B.C. or Alberta (Earl’s, Joey’s, Moxie’s), they fancy it up when they hit Toronto. Like their location at First Canadian Place, right in the heart of the Financial District. This place has a rooftop patio that’s open all year round–cuz it’s got a heater and a roof of it’s own! And for Winterlicious, they’re warming things up with burgers, chicken sammies…and like a salad, or something.

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But you don’t win friends with salad, bro, so instead I started off with some butternut squash ravioli. These squares of flavour were super creamy, with a whole buncha shredded parma on top. They only give you two, but of course, the best is yet to come…

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They call this the Feenie Burger, and it’s like a nuclear meltdown in Flavourtown! You’ve got smashed Angus beef, topped with cheddar and a whole buncha mushrooms. Then just add bacon, pickles, a little lettuce and tomato. And then they’ve got this tangy concoction that’s a mix of red relish, mayo, ketchup and mustard! Half the sauce ended up on my lap, but hey…if it ain’t messy, it ain’t tasty, Charles Bro-son!!!

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Now, have you ever said to yourself “Man, I feel like an Oh Henry, but with a dab of caramel, a scoop of ice cream and some little chocolate Smarties for dessert?” Well, today’s your lucky day, bro! I could maybe go for a King Sized next time, though… Dude, this is body by Oh Henry!!!!!