No more Molson Canadian–this here is the best beer to drink for Canada Day!

Now, I am definitely not a fan of Molson Canadian. Even when this city was full of Molson-only bars, back before craft beer became a thing, I would stick with Molson Ex or Molson Dry. (Molson Dry is the pretty much the official beer of getting drunk in Montreal, bro!)

But sometimes, whether it was during the World Juniors, watching Olympic hockey or even on Canada Day, my patriotism would compel me to buy the beer with Canadian in its name. That was until I came across Black Creek Brewery’s Canadian Frontier, a much better beer…with Canadian in its name.

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Originally launched last year as Canada 150 beer, this British-style bitter is brewed in Black Creek Pioneer Village, so you KNOW they’re kickin’ it old-school! This red beer has a nice malty kick, with just a bit of bitterness, and tastes pretty refreshing when it’s 36 degrees outside. I’m about to go en roulant la boule roulant on a whole buncha these, coureur de bros!!!

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Funky half-priced wings @ Crown & Dragon

So, we’re hanging out at the Crown & Dragon, this cozy neighbourhood pub at Yonge and Davenport. This place is famous for wings, and they’ve got ‘em half price half the time—Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. And man, these guys have got a whole lotta funky flavours, bro!

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Now, when I saw the Country Western wings, I was all over that like Charlie Pride on the first ticket to San Antone, son! And these wings have got both flavours: tangy AND spicy! Well OK, they’re not as spicy as they say. It’s sort of a mild BBQ sauce, with a big hit of horseradish at the end. Still more country than Sam Hunt, though…

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Now, these ones totally kicked the funkaliciousness up a notch. The Roadside Lemonade wings take real lemonade, and add some fresh rosemary for that piney finish. It actually kinda tastes like lemon chicken—and goes surprisingly well with ranch dip!

Fried chicken, pork skewers, fried rice… Five bucks, five bucks, five bucks!

So, we’re hanging out at Bang Sue Bar, this funky little Thai joint on top of Khao San Road, where they’ve got a sweet deal that definitely doesn’t suck. On Sundays and Mondays, almost every item on the menu is just five bucks!

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So, we’re starting off with some pork skewers, grilled up streetside-style with a Thai marinade. I like how they put one single slice of cucumber on the side, for that serving of veggie. I could probably pound like a dozen of these…but then that would cost me 30 bucks, bro!

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They call this Lucky Rice, and it hits the Flavourtown Jackpot! You’ve got some wok-fried rice, with egg, peppers and baby bok choi, served up with a red hot chili sauce on top. I probably shouldn’t have dumped that straight in the bowl, but like they say, “One night in Bangkok, and the tough guys tumble!”

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Of course, even after scarfing down that spicy rice, I still had room for fried chicken–there’s always room for fried chicken, Bernie bros! They fry this stuff up with sriracha, chilies and Thai basil…but that didn’t stop me from putting more sriracha on top!

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Now, the food might be Thai-licious, but that doesn’t mean they’re serving up Singha or Chang beer here. Instead, they’ve got a whole buncha funky craft brews, like this WHIP Milkshake Smoothie IPA from Left Field. If you’re looking for a beer that tastes like a strawberry ice, then they hit this one outta the park, son!!!

They call this the 20 Napkin Burger…but I only needed 12.

So, we’re hanging out at Craft Beer Market, the massive craft beer hall right downtown on Yonge St. I went here once before to see the wonderful Wizard of Gose, but this time I’m back for the burger. I’ve heard they’ve got a bunch of funky ones, but this one here’s their Marky Mark. Say hello to the 20 Napkin Burger, bro!

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Dude, this has gotta be the biggest burger I’ve had all month! You’ve got two burger patties, topped with bacon, some beer-can chicken and this messy cheese sauce oozing all over the place. Plus, they put another slider on top, in case you’re not quite full yet. They actually took a bunch of my napkins away before I could take this picture, but let’s just say it was pretty messy:

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Of course, you KNOW I didn’t scarf this down with a side of soda water… This ain’t Burgers, Bacon & Diet Coke, bro! Instead, I went with a Peachy Keen Milkshake IPA from the renegades of funkaliciousness at Lake of Bays:

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This boozy creamsicle was on my beer bucket list, bro! You’ve got a huge hit of peaches, with a slight, not too hoppy IPA finish. And there might not be any soft-serve in here, but it’s sure got a nice ‘n creamy head!

Ojibway fry bread Indian tacos @ Pow Wow Café

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a whole lotta killer, real-deal, Bomb.co.mx tacos in Kensington Market—you’ve got places like Seven Lives, El Trompo and even a little stall that’s selling its own handmade tortillas. But while most of these spots specialize in Mexican tacos, this funky little joint called Pow Wow Café is slinging something completely different…

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They call these Indian tacos, and they’re straight up OG gangsta. You’ve got a rich ‘n meaty beef chili, with some kidney beans and chickpeas, served on top of this amazeballs bannock fry bread. Dude, it’s like Beignets Gone Wild in Flavourtown! And while you can’t eat it with your hands, you definitely won’t leave here feeling hungry, even if you’ve only had “one” taco, bro!!!

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Me gusto esto steak, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Gusto 101, this funky fresh Italian joint just off King West on Portland St. This place has got an amazing rooftop patio, buck an ounce wines…and a pretty nice steak:

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OK, let’s break it down. You’ve got a nicely seasoned piece of dry aged centre cut striploin, with cherry tomatoes, red onions, garlic croutons and a lemon vinaigrette. And did I mention the side of Tuscan Fries?

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These spuds were hot n crispy, served up with a nice garlic aioli. I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

Wacky Teppanyaki @ Yamato, bro!

Now, I don’t know about you, but to me, everything tastes better on a Hibachi. I mean, you could Hibachi me up some bean sprouts, tofu and daiyo cheese, and I’d probably still eat it off a flip-flop…but I think I’d rather stick to the basics. And at Yamato, this funky Japanese joint that’s been killin’ it and grillin’ it in Yorkville since 1983, they’ve got everything–chicken, shrimp, scallops, lobster, and at least two kinds of steak, all served up by a funky grillmeister who’s got the moves like Jagr…  Check out that sick dangle, son!!!

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Now, I don’t always eat veggies, but when you light ’em on fire, that’s a whole different ballgame… Now we’re cooking with propane–and propane accessories!

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Don’t get me wrong, these veggies were pretty tasty, but you know on Triple B we’re all about the meat. That’s why most of the Triple B Krew went with the Imperial Combo–chicken, shrimp AND filet mignon, bro!!!!

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Now, those shrimp were pretty Bomb.co.jp. Super hot and sizzly, straight offa Hibachi, and heading straight down my piehole!

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The chicken took the longest to grill, which gave it the most teriyaki flavour. I could probably pound, like, 20 pieces of this:

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But you know we’re just getting warmed up for the main event… Let’s get ready to sizzle!!!!

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Now, they cooked this filet in a whole buncha garlic butter, so it came out nice and zesty. Mine was quite a bit more than medium rare, but that’s not to say I didn’t scarf down every last juicy morsel:

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Now, I know what you’re thinking… After all that commotion back there, did he still have room for dessert? Well go ahead punk, make my cake!!!

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They call this the Blackout Chocolate Torte, or something like that. All I know is it’s got, like, infinity layers of chocolate, along with some berries and whipped cream… Dude, this is like an avalanche rolling down Flavourtown Mountain! I definitely did not have room for more dessert afterwards!!!!!