SUMMERLICIOUS 2018: Brassaii’s got big balls, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Brassaii, this upper, upper class, high society joint down a back alley offa King Street. This place has got mushrooms, they’ve got trout, rockfish…and some of the biggest Spanish meatballs I’ve ever seen:

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These albondigas are served up on a big ol’ bed of tomato sauce, with garlic, onions, paprika and some cheese on top. I could totally put more than two of these in my mouth…but then I might not have room for steak:

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OK, so this is the kinda place that already cuts the steak for you And you’ve got potatoes, peppers and some fried herbs on top. Any way you slice it, it’s still pretty tasty!

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Now, I dig that they’re doing beignets for dessert, but only three to an order!? Dude, that’s such a light snack in Flavourtown that I might hafta hit up Tim Horton’s afterwards, bro!!!!


SUMMERLICIOUS 2018: Why settle for hen one way when you can have it two ways?

So, we’re hanging out at The Living Room, this cozy, upscale, British-style pub inside the Windsor Arms hotel. Can’t say I’ve ever been here before, but when I heard they had duck confit spring rolls, I knew I was gonna shake, waddle and roll my ass up to Yorkville, bro!

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Y’know, my least favourite part of spring rolls is all the veggies they put inside…but you ain’t gotta worry ‘bout that here, cuz it’s pretty much all meat. You’ve got tender, shredded duck inside a wonton wrapper, with a ginger garlic glaze? Shut the quack door!


But you know that ain’t the only bird that’s flying down my piehole this evening. Dude, this funky joint is serving up hen not one way, but two ways—stuffed AND deep-fried! Don’t get me wrong, I liked the thyme and apricot stuffed thigh on the right…but the buttermilk fried breast is what makes it!

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Of course, you know the drill. When it comes to Summerlicious, you gotta save room for dessert—cuz it’s included in the price, bro! This here’s a Turtle Brownie Cake with salted caramel ice cream. Ain’t nothing wrong with that at all!!!!

SUMMERLICIOUS 2018: Pork ‘n beers @ Wickson Social

Happy Summerlicious, dude! This time of year, a whole buncha restaurants all over this city are serving up three course dinners for as little as 33 bucks. If there’s one thing I like more than eating, it’s scoring a great deal on some sweet eats, so you know I’m all over this like Donkey Kong on a beer bong, bro!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at The Wickson Social, this funky little joint just a drunken stumble from Yonge and Wellesley. This place has all kindsa craft beers on tap and in bottles ‘n cans, but when it comes to the Summerlicious menu, it’s all about the pork:

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Dude, you can’t stop this pork hock! And they put it in a paté? No way! This terrine on toast is like a fancy-schmancy breakfast in Flavourtown!

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And hey, because Summerlicious deserves a nice summer beer, we’re starting things off with this tasty witbier from New Limburg. Hey, if it comes in a goblet, then it’s gotta be good, bro!

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We started off with pork…and now it’s time for more pork. They brine this baby for 48 hours before tossing it on the grill, then throwing it down with some spinach, dumplings and yam purée. Dude, this is body by yam purée!!!

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But you KNOW we’ve still got room for dessert, bro! This wasn’t the best tiramisu I’ve ever had, but it sure paired nicely with this Stationmaster Stout from Junction Craft Brewing. Imma chugga-chugga choo-choo this brewski, bro!!!!

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Whatcha gonna do when Burgermania runs wild on you???

Now, Toronto hasn’t had a proper burger festival since the last time we did Burger Day back in 2014. Le Burger Week never really took off here, much to my dismay, so when I heard there would be a three-day slider fest down at Ontario Place, I totally tore off my t-shirt Hulk Hogan style! (Good thing Hawaiian shirts have buttons, bro!!!)

Now, we’re going straight to the headliner, right off the bat. Burger Revolution is this funky little joint up in Belleville that I have wanted to check out ever since my homie from another mommy John Catucci ate there on Season 3 of You Gotta Eat Here! But it turns out I don’t hafta drive the Camaro all the way up to Hastings County, cuz they’re bringing the burgerliciousness to us, bro!!!

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This is the Royal Rizal, and it’s pretty much the king of Flavourtown Castle. You’ve got bacon, blue cheese, caramelized onion and red pepper jelly, all on a pretzel bun? Shut the back door, dude!

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Now, I’ve been to The Stockyards before for some wicked awesome BBQ chicken, but this was the first time I slammed down their beef, bro. They call this one The Mania, and it’s pretty crazy with some charred pimento mayo, chimichurri, onions and watermelon. That’s right, they actually put watermelon on the burger!!!

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Next up, we’re hitting up McCoy Burger for a real-deal maple onion bacon burger. Man, this sandwich’s got both kinds of onions: crispy AND sauteed, and that Monterrey Jack’s no joke!

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Now, Burger Revolution was the clubhouse leader, but I think that Marben’s tasty little flavour nugget ended up being the winner, winner, best-of-five-burgers dinner. I’ve got two words for you: beef brisket, bro! They also top this patty with aged cheddar and housemade Branston Pickle–which is kinda like a British relish. You bloody well right, Supertramp dude!!!

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Of course, my journey would not be complete without a double burger with cheese–this one’s from Mama’s Boys Burgers, way out east on the Danforth. Mamas don’t let their babies grow up to be cowboys–but they do let them eat burgers, and I demolished this one, son!

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Of course, the name of this website ain’t Burgers, Bacon and Diet Coke, so you know we’re throwing back a couple cold ones–like Beat the Heat, this sweet Belgian Wheat from Black Oak Brewing. This refreshing farmhouse ale is brewed with orange zest, which means I probably got at least one serving of fruits and veggies today…

Riding a 22 oz Cowboy Ribeye at Ruth’s Chris

Now, I’m no stranger to scarfing down steak, but I’d never actually been to a Ruth’s Chris before. This place has got a 24-ounce T-Bone, a Porterhouse for two and even a 40-oz Tomahawk, but you know it’s Stampede season coming up, so I gotta go with the Cowboy Ribeye—22 ounces of bone-in beef served up medium rare:

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Dude, this steak just melts in your mouth, bro! It comes outta the oven sizzling on a super-hot plate, nice and juicy, and of course I got mine with the blue cheese crust—dude, this is body by blue cheese crust!!!

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What, did you think I was gonna order a side salad, or something? We’ve got a fully-loaded baked potater, with sour cream, shredded cheese and bacon bits—dude, this is body by bacon bits!—as well as a side of roasted cremini mushrooms. These babies are like getting struck by a Smooth Criminal in Flavourtown!

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Of course, you KNOW that even after putting all that meat in my mouth, I’ve still got room for dessert—and this one is a two-for-one combo, bro! On the plate, you’ve got chocolate cake, topped with fresh berries, and then there’s a little cuppa chocolate mousse with some whipped cream on top. OK, so it’s not the chocolate cake at Wildfire Steakhouse, but I would still crush that any day of the week!!!

Tim Hortons has poutine now. Because, of course…

I guess it was just a matter of time. I mean, what could be more Canadian than the most Canadian chain serving up the most Canadian dish? Coming in hot on the heels of such culinary creations as the crispy chicken sandwich, chili cheese wedges and churro doughnut, Tim Hortons is now serving poutine. Of course they are.

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Their poutines come in regular, bacon and chili–which sounds like something some broseph puked up on King St at 3 am last Friday. But the bacon poutine was pretty decent. The curds are legit, the sauce is pretty solid…but these are the same freakin’ potato wedges that they use for their chili cheese fries, with the same weird herb seasoning. Dude, the only time herb should go with poutine is after October 17, Justin True Bro!!!!