Monthly Archives: December 2018

Breakfast of Champions @ The Wickson Social

Now, I don’t always get up in time for breakfast, but when I do, it’s gotta be legit. So we’re hanging out at The Wickson Social, this funky little joint just offa Yonge Street, where they’ve got some wicked awesome brunch, bro! When I came here for Summerlicious, I had a pork chop that was super-delicious, so you know I’m gonna come back for some back bacon—even if it is six dollars extra.

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But for the main event, we’re talking Banoffee French Toast. It’s bananas (and bananas is good), it’s toffee, it’s nice thick slices of bread with a mascarpone whipped cream—you could put it on a flip-flop, and it would still taste good! And did I mention the duck fat home fries???

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These taters were so hot they put an alligator in yer radiator! You’ve got some nicely seasoned crispy potato, which goes great with back bacon, a little whipped cream, candied banana and French toast—this is the perfect bite right here, bro:

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English-style fish and chips @ The Queen and Beaver

Now, the Queen and Beaver has gotta be the best name for a British pub that I’ve seen in a while…although you might not wanna linger on that mental image for too long. But if you’re looking for a cozy place to have a cheeky pint, you could definitely do worse than this joint–anywhere with Firkin in its name, for starters!

But man, not only is this place serving up a buncha local craft beer, they’ve also got real-deal English pub food. You’ve got bangers and mash, Welsh rarebit, and this all-time pub classic, fish and chips:

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OK, now let’s break it down. The fish is so flaky it falls apart on your forky, with a nice, light batter. And the fries are super-legit — real deal British pub chips. But what makes it are the mushy peas. Mushy whaaa???

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Dude, this stuff is like Baby Food Gone Wild, bro! Man, I’d eat it off a flip-flop–and I don’t even like peas! Now of course, you can’t have real-deal fish and chips without washing it down with a nice stout:

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Now, this ain’t no pint ‘a Guinness, bro! This Black Hand stout from the Satanic beer fiends at Blood Brothers packs an extra punch at 7%. It’s got a little more bitter, a little more flavour…but still goes pretty great with fish and chips!

Christmas teppanyaki dinner @ Matsuda Japanese Cuisine

Dude, the best part of Christmas is definitely Christmas dinner. Any reason to eat so much that your tie-dye sweatpants rip apart is a good time with me. But I’m not really a big fan of turkey, unless it’s smoked BBQ Texas style. So instead, we’re funking it up this Christmas at Matsuda Japanese Cuisine… Who needs turkey when you can have teppanyaki, bro???

Now, in case you’re a pagan, a wiccan or an Israelite with an appetite, the good news is that most Asian restaurants in Toronto are open on Christmas Day. But this ain’t just any ol’ Asian restaurant. This funky Japanese joint is serving up everything on its grilled teppanyaki menu for $38.99 — and you can even go back for seconds!!!

You’ve got steak, you’ve got chicken, you’ve got duck, you’ve even got grilled tofu and bacon-fried rice…plus an entire sushi menu at your disposal. Now, I’m not gonna fill up on sushi when I can be eating steak. But I had to give these wasabi mussels a try:

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This was definitely different from any seafood dish I’ve ever had. These mussels were as cold as ice, ice baby, with so much wasabi that I felt it in my face. Did not see that coming! Of course, I couldn’t just order one thing from the sushi menu, so I dived right in to the deep-fried section, with some super shrimp tempura and calamari:

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Now, I dunno if this pic even does it justice, but this shrimp was so long, it belongs in an ExtenZe commercial, bro! And there were about five or six more where this one came from–they definitely don’t short-change you!

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The first thing to come off the grill was seafood. The grilled flounder was legit, the jumbo shrimp were literally on fire, but this flame-grilled Atlantic salmon was the best part of waking up (at 8 pm). Fish was super flaky, with a great teriyaki glaze… I could definitely go for more of these!!!

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Now, here’s something I’ve never had at a teppanyaki joint before. They take this duck breast, thinly sliced and cooked up nice on the grill. What the duck? I think I musta ate at least 17 pieces of this stuff!!!

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Now, the first rule of Flavourtown Food Fight Club is that everything tastes better with bacon, bro! This includes bacon-fried rice, which they make right in front of you on the grill. There were some other delicious dishes too, like chicken teriyaki, beef short ribs, and thin, stringy mushrooms wrapped in bacon…but let’s cut straight to the main event, the top choice ribeye steak:

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Now, even the raw cuts of meat looked super tasty, but once they slice ‘n dice em and serve ’em up, I bet they taste even better. I haven’t put this many pieces of meat in my mouth since that one time, at beef camp…but you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro!!!

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Dessert is also all you can eat, which means you don’t have to choose between ice cream, chocolate pudding and deep fried bananas…you can have all three! Or four, or five, or six, or seven–calories don’t count on Christmas Day, dude!!!

Italian Christmas feast @ Salto Restaurant & Bar

Now, I’ve never been to Christmas dinner in Italy, but I’ve heard Italians like to eat…so we’re hanging out at Salto Restaurant & Bar, this funky little joint right at the end of Ossington, where they’re serving up a righteous Italian spread for the Triple B Kristmas Krew. You’ve got pizza, you’ve got pasta, you’ve got roast potatoes, chicken, and even salad…not that I saved any room for salad, though!!!!

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They call this paisano pizza pie Christopher, and you can call me not late for dinner! You’ve got sausage, meatballs, and two kinds of peppers — red and banana! Hey bada-boom, bada-bing!!!

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Of course, you can’t expect me to eat only one piece of pizza, so I had to dive head first into this meat lover’s paradise, El Tomasso. Italian sausage, soppressata AND pepperoni!? Shut the back door, bro!!!

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Speaking of meat, this rigatoni & meatballs had such massive mounds of meat that I had to cut some of them in half! What is this, Boston Pizza???

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Now, here’s another Italian classico — fettuccine alfredo! Super-creamy pasta in my mouth-o, bro!!!

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Now, I don’t normally eat chicken unless it’s battered and fried, but this mushroom chicken was super tender, creamy, goes good with a nice bite of roasted potatoes… Man, I could eat this all day. In fact, I already went back for a second plate:

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Dude, I had to get the pizza with bacon on it… Pizza with bacon on it was my nickname in gym class–don’t ask, bro!!!

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Of course, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, though… This house-made tiramisu hit the spot like Rocky knocking out Ivan Drago!!!!

Meatballs vs. risotto balls @ Pizzeria Libretto

Now, everybody knows that if you want real-deal Italian pizza in downtown Toronto, you gotta go to Pizzeria Libretto. Man, they’ve got all the meats–spicy salami, pepperoni, prosciutto di parma, nduja sausage…even their duck confit pie is too legit to quit!!!

But today, I’m not here for pizza–I’m about to chow down on some balls, bro! And at this funky joint, they’ve got both kinds…meatballs AND risotto balls, aka arancini. Dude, this is body by arancini!

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They actually bring out the rice balls first, which come three to an order, stuffed with stracciatella and smoked scamorza. Try saying that three times fast! But man, the cheese is what makes it, though. It’s ooey, gooey, about to go kablooey all over my face, bro!!!!

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Now, it’s time for some meaty magic. These Round Mounds of Flavourtown are served on a bed of tomato sauce and whipped ricotta, with some peccorino romano oozing out from the inside. That’s right, both kinds of balls are stuffed with cheese. It’s like you’ve got yer Balls Two the Wall, man!!!

Sushi Legend: Come for the AYCE sushi, stay for the beef!

So, we’re hanging out at Sushi Legend, this funky AYCE sushi joint all up in an Asian strip mall at Finch and Leslie. Now, this place is pretty legit–you know they’ve got sushi, they’ve got sashimi, chicken katsu, fish cakes, peel-and-eat shrimp… But what really makes it is this tasty trio of beef dishes. Why settle for all-you-can-eat sushi when you can have all-you-can-eat beef, bro???

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We’re starting out with some torched beef sushi. Man, I musta slammed at least 17 of these! The meat is nicely grilled, served on a bed of rice, with a little bit of fruit on top. One of the best beef dishes I’ve had this week!

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Next up, you’ve got these garlic steak bites. They might be tiny little pieces of meat, but they’re packed with flavour, hot off the wok with crushed garlic overtop. Goes great with the garlic mushrooms, which they’re serving up the same way…

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But man, the best dish on the entire AYCE menu might be these Korean-style beef ribs. The meat is super tender, grilled to perfection, and you can just bite it right off the bone. Bro, I could eat my body weight in these babies and still have room for dessert! Oh, and speaking of dessert…

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Can you say AYCE creme brulee, Jose???

BBQ chips on a burger!? Brilliant!!!!

We’re hanging out at The Hat on Jasper, the oldest bar in downtown Edmonton. This place has been slinging drinks since 1912, and while they’ve got signature cocktails and draft beers, they also happen to be known for their burgers, like this crunchalicious sandwich, the Mad Hatter:

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Now, what makes this one so insane is they put both barbecue chips and barbecue ranch dressing on it, along with bacon and some hearty Havarti. The patty is nice and thick, a good chewy texture on the bacon, but when you bite into one of those chips, it really kicks things up a notch!!!!

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Of course, you KNOW I’m not gonna walk into a fine establishment such as this and order a ginger ale. Instead we’re going with Yellowhead Premium Lager from local craft brewery Yellowhead. I’m told that Yellowhead is to Edmonton what Big Rock is to Calgary, but I gotta say that down here, we’ve got stronger beer…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…on Queen St!

Now, if there’s one thing I like more than Christmas, it’s drinking, and there’s this funky little pop-up joint on Queen St, just a puff-puff-pass from the Friendly Stranger, that lets you do both. Ho, ho ho, we’re hangin’ out at Miracle on Queen St, bro!!!

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Now, at this place, all the cocktails have Christmas-y names. I almost went for the Bad Santa or the Snowball Old Fashioned…until I saw they had a drink named after my all-time favourite line from my all-time favourite Christmas flick–Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker!!!

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Now, don’t ask me why this drink comes in a Santa’s lower-body mug. I was hoping they’d serve it in a sweaty undershirt, like John McClane would’ve wanted. And yes, there is more than just ice in this cup–you’ve also got rum, rum and more rum! OK, and then there’s Cachaca, Dry Curacao, Marshmallow Orgeat and sweet potato…but I mostly just taste the rum. I’m sooo gonna die hard with a vengeance, bro!!!

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Of course, it wouldn’t be a Triple B Flavourtown Roadtrip without me pounding at least one ice-cold brewski. The only beer they serve here is Henderson’s Yuletide Amber Ale, which is kinda like Rickard’s Red…but it comes in a much more festive can. But hey, just because they only have one beer doesn’t mean you can only drink one beer–let’s just say I gave this guy a great big bro-to-bear hug on the way back to the bar:

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Demolishing The Pint Tower Burger…double cheeseburger with bacon, pulled pork and a grilled cheese sammy!!!

So, we’re hanging out at The Pint Public House, this massive sports bar just steps from the CN Tower. Last time we were here, I destroyed four orders of 40-cent wings…but this time, I’ve got an even bigger challenge ahead of me. It seems this joint is serving up a tower of it’s own. This is The Pint Tower Burger:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a thick ‘n juicy bacon double cheeseburger, topped with pulled pork, with a grilled cheese sandwich in the middle. It might not be as friggin’ huge as the Go Chuck Yourself, as deadly as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or as messy as the 20 Napkin Burger, but it’s still gotta be the most outta-bounds, honky-tonk redonkadonk bacon burger I’ve conquered in the last six months:

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Man, I can barely wrap my hand around this thing–nevermind my jaw! But the meat is super-tender, you’ve got some nice bites of bacon, and a whole pile of tangy pulled pork. The grilled cheese would still be pretty tasty even if it wasn’t being crushed by all that beef, and the bun is about as soggy as a wet nap under all that juicy, meaty goodness… Dude, this is probably enough food to feed a family of four–or just another light snack in Flavourtown:

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(I didn’t even need 20 napkins for this one, son!!!!)

These BBQ bacon wings hit me like a hurricane…

Dude, if there’s one thing I like more than crushing a pound of chicken wings, it’s crushing two pounds of chicken wings…for the price of one. And down on Bloor St, just a slight breeze from Dovercourt, there’s this funky little dive with a wicked awesome wing night serving up all kinds of flavours–and they’re 2-for-1 on Tuesdays, son! Plus, they’re named after Miami’s football team AND Patrick Swayze’s all-time greatest film!? Welcome to Hurricanes Roadhouse!

Now, a pound of wings is normally 14 bucks here, but if you order two different flavours on Two-Fer Tuesdays, they do charge ya 50 cents extra. Although that price also includes either fries or veggies and blue cheese, so that’s still a pretty sweet deal. And while I don’t normally eat vegetables, you know I went for the veggies and dip–dude, this is body by blue cheese, bro!!!

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So, in the one hand we’ve got a pound of Red Hot wings, with a vinegary kick that’s probably just Frank’s Red Hot sauce. It does kinda linger with ya a bit, though. But if you want a real spicy wing, get the Gale Force–they’ll blow the paint offa yer barn, bro!!!

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But now here’s where they funk it up a notch. On top of the 12 different flavours on the menu, they also give you a Flavour of the Day, which could be anything under the sun… And last Tuesday’s FotD was BBQ Bacon, so you KNOW I had to order it! You’ve got the smoky BBQ taste of their Memphis BBQ sauce, but then you get bites of bacon juice all over the place–at least, it must be bacon juice, cuz I don’t see any actual bacon on the chicken, but it still tastes like bacon. It’s like a Christmastime miracle in Flavourtown!!!

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Of course, you KNOW I’m not gonna be drinking some hippy-dippy, GMO-friendly kale smoothie, Michael Bro-lander! Instead, we’re chugging back a couple Yellow Trucks, this complicated blond lager from Draught Dodger Brewery. This beer’s a little bit hoppier than your average lager, but it still goes down smoothly with some bacon-flavoured chicken wings!!!