Monthly Archives: February 2019

Korean fried chicken, topped with potato wedges and cheese… Whoa.

You know me, this is body by fried chicken, bro! So when I found out this new Korean chicken joint just opened up at Yonge and Finch, I ditched the Camaro for the TTC, cuz I knew I’d be too full to drive home… This is Chicken in the Kitchen:

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This place doesn’t just serve up one kind of fried chicken–more like seven! So, I went with the Gold Fried Chicken, which is “topped with potato wedges and cheddar cheese.” Dude, Potato Wedges & Cheddar Cheese was the name of my backyard wrestling tag team!

Now, I’m a little disappointed in the cheese distribution, but the chicken was really hot, nice and juicy, melt-in-your-mouth tender. A “half order” for $14.99 comes with like six pieces of chicken…and that’s not even counting the wedge action, bro!!!

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Man, these wedges are so hot, they’re like Straight Outta Flavourtown! You’ve got a bit of cheese, some parsley, and a nice garlic dipping sauce on the side… After scarfing down this basket of magical goodness, I didn’t even have room for dessert!!!

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Lamb & eggs for brunch @ Bodega

Now, lamb has gotta be one of my all-time favourite meats. Whether it’s lamb chops, lamb shank or even lamb tacos, I’m all over it like a Greek freak on fleek! So when I heard that Bodega, this funky little joint in Baldwin Village, was serving up lamb with scrambled eggs for brunch, you KNOW I had to check it out, bro!!!

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Now, I’m no stranger to steak ‘n eggs, but this is definitely kickin’ it up a notch. The New Zealand chops were cooked about medium well (they didn’t ask), but still nice and tender, and actually go good with eggs — who knew? You’ve got a side of skinny, salty fries, as well as a salad with a whole buncha berries. Now, I dunno if I’ve even eaten five salads this year, but this one would hafta be in my top five, though!!!

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Not only are they serving up some funky brunch dishes at Bodega, but this place is also pouring six-dolla pints, bro! You’ve got Sam Adams, Sam Roberts, even Kronenbourg Blanc… but I went with a Grimbergen, this strong Belgian ale, based on the name alone. Now, I thought the fruity, funky brew tasted familiar. I couldn’t place it at first, but then I was like, “Sheeeet son, this beer tastes like prune juice!” So yeah, I maybe won’t order that one next time…

Fancy nine-course Chinese feast @ Lai Wah Heen

Now, it’s definitely not every day that I pay over 100 bucks for Chinese food–that’s like Dim Sum Gone Wild, bro! But Lai Wah Heen, one of the most well-known Hong Kong style joints in Toronto, isn’t just known for dim sum. They’ve also serving up multi-person, multi-dish gourmet dinners, with enough food for 10 people…or four Hungry, Hungry Hippos in Flavourtown!!!

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We’re starting off with some soup, a tasty combo of crab meat and bird’s nest. Apparently, you don’t wanna know what bird’s nest is made out of…but it’s still pretty darn tasty!!!

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Next up, we’ve got sea cucumber stuffed with shrimp mousse. First time eating sea cucumber — they say this slimy snail has to be marinated forever to even make it edible. But add some shrimp, and a shrimp roe sauce, and it’s more than just edible…it’s magically delicious!!!

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Now, speaking of shrimp… Right here, we’ve got jumbo prawns and scallops, served up on a bed of crisp snow peas — nothing wrong with that at all!!!

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Next up, it’s time for some Chickity China, the Chinese chicken! This bird is practically swimming in a truffle-scented oyster sauce… But baby, eat this chicken slow, it’s full of all them little bones!!!!

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Speaking of little bones…This dish of exploding fish guts with green stuff will have you picking your teeth like a hillbilly picking a banjo in Alabama, bro!!!

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But now it’s time for the main event: Wok-baked lobster in a sticky-sweet soya sauce! This dish is sooo finger-licking good, Colonel Slamders!!!

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Now, at this point I think they probably wanted to get rid of us, so they served up two dishes at once. On the left, you’ve got some righteous shrimp dumplings in a clear soup broth, and on the left, the real star of the show, foie gras duck fried rice. Yes, you read that right. You don’t get the texture of the foie, but it definitely adds to the flavour — this is one of the top five rice dishes I’ve ever had, bro!!!

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Now, in all that commotion back there, I’m not sure if we had eight dishes, or only seven. But that doesn’t mean we ain’t still got room for dessert, son! This trio of tasty Chinese treats includes a sesame ball, sweet red bean soup and a strawberry pastry roll. You know my motto’s always been why have just one dessert when you can have three, right???

Blue cheeseburger (+ craft beer) in paradise…

So, when when that big storm hit Toronto a couple weeks back, I didn’t give a crap, cuz we’re chillin’ like a villain in the U.S. Virgin Islands, bro! Man, this place has everything: sandy beaches, Painkillers, flip-flops, wild donkeys walking down the street… it even has a Wendy’s (in St. Thomas, anyways)! But instead of slamming down a Baconator, we’re hanging out on the island of St. John, at this funky little brewpub called the Tap Room, where they’ve got this killer blue cheese burger named after one of my all-time favourite movie characters. You’re My Boy Bleu — that’s literally what it’s called!

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Dude, this burger totally reeks of funkaliciousness!!!! You’ve got a medium-rare patty that’s as thick as a hockey puck, oozing with blue cheese crumbles… But then we get to the best part–homemade bacon onion jam! I’m about to bacon jam this straight down my piehole, bro!

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Of course, we are hanging out at a craft beer bar–so you KNOW I’m not drinking gin and juice! St. John Brewers is the local beermonger, and this Tropical Mango Pale Ale is their best-seller. It’s a little malty, a little hoppy, with a nice mango finish that’s like a Buffalo Soul-jah for your tastebuds, Bro-b Marley!!!

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Of course, I can’t eat just one potato chip, and I ain’t drinkin’ just one craft beer, neither! This here Toasted Coconut Brown Ale is not too heavy, just a little sweet, with a bit of a coconut aftertaste. Man, if I pound a few more of these, I might be going streaking…

Slammin’ some Haitian meatballs @ Rhum Corner

Dude, this is body by meatballs, bro! Whether it’s Italian meatballs, Japanese meatballs or pretty much any meatballs imaginable, you KNOW they’re heading straight down my piehole! So when I found out there’s this funky little Caribbean joint serving up Haitian style meatballs, well, you know I got my balls to the wall, man! This is Rhum Corner, and these are boulettes:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a rich, meaty, beef/pork mix, served with veggies and gravy…and a side of gravy. You know I used all that gravy, son! Comes with white rice and one crispy fried plantain. Dude, the crispy fried plantain is what makes it!!!

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Now, you can’t go to a place called Rhum Corner and order a Diet Coke. And this time I didn’t even get a beer–I know, it’s a supersized shocker in Flavourtown, bro! Instead I went with the national nectar of Jamaica, Wray & Ting:

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So, you take grapefruit soda, some 126-proof white rum, and you mix it all up! This drink is surprisingly refreshing–you get that citrus kick, but you can definitely still taste the booze. And it was only, like, seven bucks? Next time I’m on Island Time I would totally take this over rum and coke!!!

Bonin’ a 22 oz bone-in ribeye @Morton’s The Steakhouse

You know me, this is body by steak, bro!!! We’re hanging out at Morton’s The Steakhouse, right in downtown Toronto at the Park Hyatt Hotel. Now, they might doing all kinds of construction next door, but they’re still serving up steaks inside…like this bad boy, the 22 oz bone-in ribeye:

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In case you’re wondering what 1,360 calories of primo beef looks like, you’re looking at it bro!!! This cow’s so country, it’s practically mooing on the plate! And then you’ve got sides of seasonal wild mushrooms and horseradish mash — dude, horseradish mash was my favourite dance in gym class!!!

Of course, you KNOW I ate everything on that plate, cept for the bone…

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…and I still had room for dessert!!!

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Feast your eyes on this big ol’ piece of hot chocolate cake, son! It’s rich on the outside, gooey on the inside, with a scoop of vanilla, some caramel drizzle and a couple of raspberries on top. After scarfing down this sexy thing, you KNOW I believe in miracles, bro!!!

Slaying some shrimp tacos @ Wallace Gastropub

Now, I know what you’re thinking… What would a place with a name like Wallace possibly know about tacos, bro??? And hey, I hear ya. Not gonna lie, I wasn’t so sure myself. But after pulling some core mussels at the Wallace Gastropub last summer, I knew their seafood was pretty legit–so we’re heading back for Taco Wednesdays (yes, Wednesdays), where they’re serving up three fully loaded flour tortillas for just $10.95!!!!

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Now, for that price, you could get chicken or fish, but a legit shrimp taco is something you definitely don’t see every day. And lemme tell ya, these babies bring the heat! You’ve got some mixed greens, cilantro, cheese and add-your-own guac, but man, it’s all about the shrimp, son! These big ‘n meaty sea creatures are served up in a sneaky spicy chipotle sauce that’ll make you order another beer or two. Good thing they’ve got some pretty decent craft beers on tap…

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Speaking of things you don’t see every day, this Muskoka Black Raspberry Thunder IPA combines the tarty sweetness of raspberries with the slight hoppiness of a not-too-bitter pale ale. And at $7.50 a pint, you can probably drink enough of these that you’re totally taking the TTC home, bro!!!!

Texas-style BBQ on a muthafuckin boat!!!

So, a couple weeks ago, we were sailing the seven seas of cheese on the Norwegian Bliss. Now they’ve got all kinds of funky joints all over this cruise ship — Mexican, Italian, French, teppanyaki, even a fancy steakhouse…but you KNOW the first place we’re checking out is the Texas BBQ joint! That’s right, Q Texas Smokehouse has got all the meats, and even though I didn’t see a smoker or smell the hickory, I can tell ya this shit is legit!!!!

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What we’ve got here is their signature Pitmaster Platter, with beef brisket, pork spare ribs, smoked chicken, jalapeno cheddar two ways — sausage AND cornbread, and then a couple sides like pickles, potato salad and beans. Now, let’s break it down:

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Now, unlike a real-deal Texas BBQ joint, this place don’t ask ya if you like yer brisket lean or fatty — they just give it to ya lean. But this thinly sliced meat has a perfect pink smoke ring, and tastes nice and tender with a side of Tennessee Whiskey (from the in-house country cover band).

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Now, normally I’d say if you’re eating ribs at a Texas smokehouse, you’re doing it wrong. But them bones are perfectly smoked, with a nice bark and a good chew. I might even order a whole rack of these bad boys next time!!!

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Likewise, a true Texas BBQ joint is more likely to serve you turkey instead of chicken, but man, you could cook anything in that smoker of theirs and it will still taste good!!!

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Now, I’m not a fan of the fact that they cut their jalapeno cheddar hot link in half — smoked sausage is all about the snap, son! But this still wasn’t bad. Not as good as Adamson’s, which is TheBomb.ca, but not bad…

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Now, this might sound crazy, but even with all that meat on the platter, the jalapeno cheddar cornbread almost stole the show. It’s a bit sweet, with a nice chew, and just a little kick from those hot peppers… Dude, this is body by jalapeno cornbread!!!

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Of course, you KNOW that after polishing off that Pitmaster Platter, I’ve still got room for dessert — we’re talking peach cobbler AND a chocolate brownie, bro! And yes, I did eat most of both of these myself…

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Smashing Spanish tapas @ Bar Isabel

Now, I’m not really the biggest fan of tapas — if I gotta share food, it means that someone else isn’t getting very much. Flavourtown is all about survival of the fattest, bro! But I heard there’s this funky little joint on College with some crazy craft beers and a solid selection of seafood, chorizo and potatoes…which are a few of my favourite things, so you know I had to check it out! Bienvenidos a Bar Isabel!!!

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So, we’re starting out with some mussels from, well, probably not Brussels, but Barcelona, I guess? One thing I know is that these mussels escabeche are pretty Van Damme delicious! It’s a dish served cold, with a tangy sauce, and some little onions and peppers for that extra roundhouse kick!!!

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Now, if you’re serving up a dish that translates to brave potatoes, then you KNOW I’m gonna hafta take the plunge. These patatas bravas are coming in hot out of the oven, smothered in sour cream and hot sauce, and topped with green onions and cilantro. I could eat this all day, bro — but I still gotta save room for chorizo!

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These snack-sized sausages were pretty much on point. Cooked to the right temperature, with a bit of sweet, a bit of heat, and that good ol’ garlicky aftertaste that’s like a breath mint in Flavourtown. This is one sausagefest you don’t wanna miss!!!

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Of course, when it comes to this Spanish feast, I’m skipping right past the vino and heading straight to the craft beer, bro! This ice cold bottle of Er Boqueron is imported from Spain, and brewed with Mediterranean sea water for a crisp, refreshing taste. This is one cerveza that makes that joke about having sex in a canoe seem like not such a bad thing after all…

 

Steakin’ and bacon @ STK (Winterlicious 2019)

Now, I only made it out to one funky joint for Winterlicious this year, cuz I was somewhere on a beach, Dierks Bro-ntly! But I figured if I was only gonna do one place for Winterlicious, it was gonna be this funky steakhouse right in the heart of Yorkville. We’re gettin’ some, gettin’ some at STK, son!

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Now, when I heard this joint was serving up double-smoked Applewood bacon as an appetizer, you KNOW I was all over that like fat on pork, bro! This steak-sized piece of back bacon totally reeks of unctuousness, with a balsamic BBQ sauce, holy shiitake shrooms and some red hot chili peppers, for that extra kick. Give it away, give it away, give it away now!!!!

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Of course, we’re still saving room for the main event. This 8 oz strip was definitely on the well-done side of medium rare, but it still had some nice juices, with mashed potatoes, black trumpet mushrooms, and onions two ways–agrodolce and crispy-fried. Dude, this is body by agrodolce, bro!!!

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Now, this chocolate brownie was pretty outta bounds. You’ve got rich, moist chocolate, dulce de leche ice cream, dehydrated raspberries and a maple bourbon sauce??? Shut the front, back and side doors, son!!!!