Fancy nine-course Chinese feast @ Lai Wah Heen

Now, it’s definitely not every day that I pay over 100 bucks for Chinese food–that’s like Dim Sum Gone Wild, bro! But Lai Wah Heen, one of the most well-known Hong Kong style joints in Toronto, isn’t just known for dim sum. They’ve also serving up multi-person, multi-dish gourmet dinners, with enough food for 10 people…or four Hungry, Hungry Hippos in Flavourtown!!!

We’re starting off with some soup, a tasty combo of crab meat and bird’s nest. Apparently, you don’t wanna know what bird’s nest is made out of…but it’s still pretty darn tasty!!!

Next up, we’ve got sea cucumber stuffed with shrimp mousse. First time eating sea cucumber — they say this slimy snail has to be marinated forever to even make it edible. But add some shrimp, and a shrimp roe sauce, and it’s more than just edible…it’s magically delicious!!!

Now, speaking of shrimp… Right here, we’ve got jumbo prawns and scallops, served up on a bed of crisp snow peas — nothing wrong with that at all!!!

Next up, it’s time for some Chickity China, the Chinese chicken! This bird is practically swimming in a truffle-scented oyster sauce… But baby, eat this chicken slow, it’s full of all them little bones!!!!

Speaking of little bones…This dish of exploding fish guts with green stuff will have you picking your teeth like a hillbilly picking a banjo in Alabama, bro!!!

But now it’s time for the main event: Wok-baked lobster in a sticky-sweet soya sauce! This dish is sooo finger-licking good, Colonel Slamders!!!

Now, at this point I think they probably wanted to get rid of us, so they served up two dishes at once. On the left, you’ve got some righteous shrimp dumplings in a clear soup broth, and on the left, the real star of the show, foie gras duck fried rice. Yes, you read that right. You don’t get the texture of the foie, but it definitely adds to the flavour — this is one of the top five rice dishes I’ve ever had, bro!!!

Now, in all that commotion back there, I’m not sure if we had eight dishes, or only seven. But that doesn’t mean we ain’t still got room for dessert, son! This trio of tasty Chinese treats includes a sesame ball, sweet red bean soup and a strawberry pastry roll. You know my motto’s always been why have just one dessert when you can have three, right???