Five-course fried chicken feast @ Beast

Now, you know I’m all about Beastmode, bro! So when I found out there’s this funky little joint serving up righteous wild game dishes, just offa King West…and their logo looks like a deathcore band??? Man, I didn’t care if I was gonna hafta run 67 yards to get to Beast!

And when it comes to this place, you wanna get there early. Right up until 7 pm, they’ve got a couple local craft beers for five bucks, along with get-em-till-they’re-gone tasting menu options, like this chorizo tostada. You’ve got a super-crunchy tortilla, crisp lettuce, Mexican sausage and cheese sauce…served up on a Sesame Street plate:

Now, if you think that last dish was pretty funky, well you ain’t seen n-n-nothing yet, Brody Broman! Say hello to some crispy pig ears done up all Japaneezy:

They call this dish okonomiyaki, and I’m about to go all Mr. Miyagi on it… Banzai, Daniel-san!

Now, after crushing a couple Ace Hill Pilsners before Happy Hour ends, it’s time to get to the good stuff, like these garlic parmigiano rolls. These soft, chewy, buttery flavour nuggets come topped with fresh shaved parma, and a side of marinara. Mamma mia!!!

Now, since I didn’t get enough of the pig before, now I’m pigging out on some wild boar belly, bro! This unctuous oinker comes with a side of apple butter, topped with bacon bits, for some hardcore pig-on-pig action!!!

But now it’s time for the main event. Weighing in at 300 pounds of deep-fried goodness, it’s the Beastwich. This southern-style sammy is smothered in sausage gravy, with a layer of pimento cheese, between a badass buttermilk biscuit. There are so many good things going on here that I don’t know where to start… but you can poooour that gravy on me, Bro Elliott!

Now, once Happy Hour was over, I had to make like my backroad buddy Tim Hicks and switch to a stronger beer. This Moroccan Brown Ale from Spearhead, straight outta Kingston, is made with dates, figs, raisins and a dash of cinnamon, and it’s as freaky as Guy Fieri’s face made outta fondant, bro!!!

(You cannot unsee this…)