Monthly Archives: May 2019

I’m biting into this sammy, and chewing away… like a Bat Outta Hell!

So, we’re hanging out at Mudgie’s Deli & Wine Shop, this funky little joint in Corktown, next to Downtown Flavourtown in Detroit, Michigan. This place is known for craft beer and killer sammies — like pastrami, beef brisket and corned beef, but when I saw this dish was named after my favourite Meat Loaf album, you KNOW I had to dig in. Rev up yer silver-black phantom bike for the Bat Outta Hell!!!

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This ain’t yer grandma’s meatloaf, son! They make it outta top sirloin, and it’s not exactly square, either…which makes for more optimal munching. Then they top it with thick ‘n chewy bacon, some melty white cheddar, red onion, mustard, and I think there’s some lettuce in there somewhere, too. The house-made pickle is a nice added touch, even though it tastes more like a cucumber, and the side of mac salad is also legit.

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Now, I knew this place was known for craft beer — they’ve got over 100. But I didn’t know how funky they could get until I saw The Hat Gose Blueberry Lemonade, from Michigan’s Witch’s Hat Brewing Co. This light, crushable breakfast beer combines both the flavours of blueberries and lemonade without tasting too sour… It’s magically delicious!

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But now we’re about to funk it up another notch, with the Mango Habanero Oberon, a pale wheat ale from Bell’s Brewery. You’ve got the refreshing, citrusy taste of a wheat beer, but then a nice little kick from the habaneros at the end. Normally you drink beer when the food’s too spicy, but since this beer’s pretty spicy, I need some dessert, bro!!!

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They call this the Fudgie Mudgie, and it’s packing all kinds of flavour! You’ve got a warm chocolate brownie waffle, topped with a scoop of vanilla, whipped cream, hot fudge and some cocoa sprinkles!!?? Dude, I wouldn’t do anything for love, but I’d definitely eat that, Rocky Horror Broseph!!!

If I had pizza like Henry Ford, I’d have me a buddy on every road…

So, we’re hanging out in Detroit Rock City at Buddy’s Pizza, home of the original Detroit-style pizza since 1946. Now, if you’ve never had Detroit pizza before, well, it’s nice and square, with a crust that’s chewy on the inside, crispy on the outside… and then they put the sauce on top! They’ve got all kinds of signature pizzas and specialty pizzas on the menu, but I figure I had to start with the man who started it all in the Motor City — this is The Henry Ford:

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OK, so what we’ve got here is a Motor City cheese blend — that’s Fontinella, Asiago and Wisconsin brick cheese, bro! — topped with ground beef, bacon, red onion, tomato-basil sauce…and then they add some blue cheese, for that extra cheesiness. And lemme tell ya, you definitely taste the blue cheese! But when you get a good bite of that beef, mixed with the bacon, then that’s the ticket, right there…

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Of course, the Flavourtown Diet says you can’t go to a legendary pizza joint and order just one pie, son! This one’s dedicated to the T-dot-O — it’s named after Lake Ontario. And yes, it’s got pineapple on it — eat your hjarta out, Iceland! But it’s actually not ham & pineapple…that’s Canadian bacon, bro, with cilantro and BBQ sauce. This was easily one of the top five pineapple pizzas I’ve ever had–and I just had spam and pineapple pizza last week!

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Of course, since the name of this blog is NOT Burgers, Bacon and Gluten-Free Ginger Ale, we had to try some of the local brews, as well. This here is the house beer, Bocce IPA. It tasted pretty much like every other IPA I had…but it’s surprisingly strong at 7%. Now, I wasn’t drunk or anything, but I did tell the DJ to kick out the jams!!!

 

Who needs ham & pineapple when you can have spam & pineapple?

Not gonna lie, I kinda like pineapple on pizza — whether it’s bacon and pineapple or the classic Hawaiian: ham and pineapple. But the other day, I stopped in at Dovercourt Village Pizza, this funky little joint at Dundas and Bathurst, where they’re funking it up a notch by putting spam and pineapple on pizza!

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They call this one “Thanks, Obama!” and it’s got BBQ spam, some tangy pineapple and a streak of BBQ sauce, with some added chili flakes from yours truly. Now, I’m not sure what they do to the spam, but it almost tastes more like bacon than something that comes in a can. And then that BBQ sauce gives it a little extra kick… Man, even if it spams my inbox from now till next November, I would still vote for this slice of pizza in 2020, bro!!!

We’re getting loaded on Drunken Chicken, bro!!!

Now, if I was to add a couple more letters to the name of this website, it would be Triple BFC. Or maybe Triple BBQFC. Cuz man, if there’s one thing I like almost as much as Burgers, Bacon and Beer, it’s fried chicken. And there’s a whole buncha funky joints from the South — we’re talkin’ South Korea, son — waaay up North, up around Yonge and Finch, that do it up right. But when I heard about this joint called Drunken Chicken, you KNOW I had to check it out. Pass me an ice-cold Sapporo, bro!!!

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Now, the deal with this place is that you can order a “half” or a “whole” chicken, either with bones or boneless, and then there’s seven different sauces and flavours to choose from. Or you can do what I did, which was get half and half — you save four bucks per order, and you get to choose two different kinds.

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So, we started with the Honey Gangjeong, which was a little underwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, this chicken was crispier than a frisky biscuit, but it just didn’t have that much sweetness to it. I was kinda expecting more from something with “honey” in the name…

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I definitely liked the Spicy Peanut more, doused in a Thai-style peanut sauce…but it was so not spicy. Normally, when I see something with a pepper next to it on the menu, it means I’ll be hitching a ride home on the Pepto-Copter, but that was definitely not the case here. Still pretty tasty though…

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Now, you KNOW I finished off two full baskets of Korean fried chicken, and still had room for dessert…if by dessert, you mean onion rings:

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Dirty Deeds, Done with Beef @ Yonge-Dundas Rib Fest

Now, some people might spend the May 24 weekend getting wasted at the cottage with the long-reigning monarch of a by-gone era. But for me, the unofficial start of summer is the Yonge-Dundas Rib Fest, right in downtown Flavourtown. You’ve got beef ribs, pork ribs, brisket sammies, a bloomin’ onion, churros…and even an AC/DC tribute band!? Shut the front, back, rear, side, aft, port and starboard doors, son!!!

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So, outta all the meat merchants, you KNOW I had to hit up Texas Jack’s from Arlington, Texas. Or, at least that’s what their sign said — the girl behind the counter was wearing a trucker hat from Martin’s BBQ in Nashville. Now, Texas BBQ is all about the brisket, and while you couldn’t get it lean or fatty, they were serving up chopped brisket sandwiches like they do after 2 pm at Franklin’s:

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Now, this sandwich might be like 14 bucks, but at least they don’t shortchange ya on the meat, shoving all kinds of chopped beefy goodness between two hot dog buns. The only thing I’d say, and I don’t say this every day, is that this brisket couldda used some sauce — but that’s actually my bad for not squirting some from the giant containers out front.

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Now, even though I saw em sitting right there on the grill, these beef ribs weren’t actually on the menu, which meant you had to make a special request. This also meant that the meat had probably been sitting on the grill too long — I had to really rip at it with my two front teeth. But hey, anytime you gotta fight your food, that just makes it taste better, right?

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Of course, even after putting more meat in my mouth than I did at the Montana Testicle Festival, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! These chocolate-covered churros were two for six dollars, and came with an all-you-can-sprinkle sugar bar. Since the wind was blowing, there was so much white powder on my clothes that I looked like I was partying with Charlie Sheen, son!!!

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As for the tuneage, The AC/DC Show Canada was the closest we’ll get to catching the Thunder from Down Under without somebody like Axl Rose singing. And hey, they might not have giant cannons, an inflatable Rosie or a swinging Hell’s Bell, but at least they didn’t play any of the boring AC/DC songs from the last 20 years!!!

Man, this was the best 38 dollar cheeseburger I’ve ever had!!!

What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a burger, bro? Now, I’m no stranger to great big burgers — you could say I’ve had a few in my day. But they don’t usually cost more than 25 bucks…and that’s if they’ve got six patties stacked between three grilled cheeses.

But now we’re hanging out at BlueBlood Steakhouse, this funky, old-school steak joint inside of Casa Loma. This place has got beef from all over the place — Japan, Australia, Alberta…including some real-deal Wagyu. Dude, I’m not gonna pay 200 bucks for a six-ounce Wagyu filet, though — that’s more like a snack, not a steak! But when I saw they had a Wagyu steakburger for $38, I figured I could go for that… But I gotta get some more beef in me first:

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Now, the great thing about this beef short rib ravioli is that they don’t stuff it with short rib — they put the beef on top. More beef for your buck, bro! And this meat is braised until it pretty much falls apart… it even tastes good with peas, and I don’t even like peas!!!

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But now it’s time for the main event. In this corner, you’ve got Wagyu beef, topped with perfectly melted cheese, some crispy onion rings, lettuce and tomato, all inside a brioche bun. It’s a little lighter, and more flavourful, than your typical burger, but still has a nice thickness to it. Oh, and it comes with some of the biggest fries I’ve ever seen in my life. Normally, I can eat four or five fries in a handful…but these fries are so huge, I could only eat one in five bites!!!

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Now, after eating a couple pounds of potatoes, I didn’t know if I had room for dessert. But man, their baked Alaska is on fire — literally!!!

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This Blowtorch Betty in Flavourtown is set ablaze with flaming overproof rum, singeing its meringue shell. On the inside, you’ve got dark chocolate ice cream and strawberry sorbet, with some raspberries and chocolate truffles. Probably the best 28-dollar dessert I’ve ever had!!!

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Racking up lamb @ Brothers Food & Wine

When’s the last time you had a real-deal gourmet meal on top of a subway station, bro? Don’t get me wrong, the Jamaican patties at Bathurst are legit, but that ain’t nothing compared to Brothers: Food & Wine, this funkalicious little joint right on top of Bay Station. This place is so low-key, they don’t even have a website, and they change their menu so often that you won’t find it online… But when I saw they got a much better review in the Times than Guy Fieri’s Times Square Kitchen and Bar, then I knew I had to check it out. Now feast your eyes on this luscious lambchop:

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Now, the lamb was nice ‘n fatty, just the way I like it, although it was definitely well beyond medium rare. They served it up on a bed of chickpeas and shepherd peppers, which I wouldn’t normally eat, but when you put some lamb on top, they magically disappear down my piehole:

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Now, I know this place has Wine in the name, but when do I ever drink wine, bro? Instead we’re checking out this funky collab sour beer between Brothers and Burdock Brewery:

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This ain’t no sissy saison, son! The mixed-fermentation sour beer is aged on Riesling lees and sea buckthorns, and at 5.5%, it’s not quite as sessionable as, say, Bud Light Orange. But if you like sours, then pucker up for this one, bro!!!

 

Funky four-course feast in Kensington Market

Now, when the weather’s actually nice outside, I like to head down to Kensington Market. You’ve got a buncha killer craft beer joints, some of the best tacos in Toronto — they’re even serving ’em up First Nations style! — and a Tom Cruise-themed burger joint. If it’s funky, you’ll find it here. I mean, where else are you gonna get real-deal Salvadorean pupusas in this city???

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This pupusa revuelta is stuffed with pork, beans and cheese — a true triple threat in Flavourtown! You’ve got some coleslaw on the side, and a not-so-mild sauce on top… all for just $3.65 at the Emporium Latino??? Shut the puerta de entrada!!!

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Now, we ain’t about to wash down that Salvadorean speciality with a Bud Light! Instead, I reached into the fridge and pulled out a Tepachito, this funky pineapple cider from Mexico. It’s like Pineapples Gone Wild, bro!!!

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But you KNOW that a pineapple soda isn’t gonna be the only beverage on this adventure! We’re busting out the German beer, along with a massive veal and lamb sammich at Otto’s Berlin Doner. The craft beer selection at this place kicks the crap outta Supermarket next door, and this meaty, saucy sammy is more than a light snack in Flavourtown. I went with a Hacker-Pschorr Weiss, a nice wheat beer from the old country that they actually have on tap, for $7.50. (Pretty sure the last time I went to Supermarket, I had a Corona…)

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Now, that doner might have been enough food for some skinny-pantsed hipster, but you KNOW I ain’t full yet, bro! So we’re heading over to Blackbird Baking Co, this funky bakery on Baldwin that makes everything fresh in-house…including this Roman-style mushroom pizza. Normally, I’m allergic to any pizza that doesn’t have meat on it, but when you’ve got the fresh mushrooms, black olives, poblanos and red peppers, I don’t think it needs anything else. One of the best vegetarian dishes I’ve had this year!

At this point I probably don’t have room for dessert…but I can always still cram a two-dollar churro down my piehole:

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Launching Lord Simcoe 1791 Lager (well ahead of Lord Simcoe Day…)

Now, I’ve always thought that Lord Simcoe Day was the weirdest holiday in Canada. It’s a random day off at the beginning of August celebrating some dude who died in like the 1800’s. But now that he’s got a beer named after him, I’ve got a reason to start celebrating Simcoe Day early this year!!!

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So, we’re hanging out at the Berkeley Bicycle Club for the launch of Lord Simcoe 1791 Lager, which happens to be the year Toronto was founded. This light, crisp beer would go good in the summer — it’s pretty much perfect for celebrating Simcoe Day on the dock of the bay, bro! It’s pretty easy drinking, but still has some flavour — more Steamwhistle than Molson Canadian. Oh, and it goes pretty good with Canadian food like pizza and poutine:

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Any party with a poutine station is my kinda place to be! And they’ve got the real-deal cheese curds here, too — none of that shredded cheddar garbage! Now, the first time I went up, they only had veggie pizza, so I had to go back for a couple slices of this culinary creation. I don’t know who thought putting zucchini on top of prosciutto was a good idea…but I don’t think you’d see me eating zucchini otherwise:

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Now, somehow this event was also sponsored by Jack Daniels, which meant I got to fire away with a 1791 Depth Charge — a shot of Jack and a pint of lager, son!!!

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Wait, did somebody say “Fire Away?” Cuz the Greg Williams Band was playing everything from Chris Stapleton and Kip Moore to Chuck Berry and The Band. You know there’s something bout a truck and a beer and a shot and a poutine, and some good ol’ rock ‘n roll, bro!!!

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These nachos are baked, not fried…

For me, Cinco de Mayo is not a one-meal deal, bro — so you KNOW I had to get some nachos in me before the weekend’s over! Sure, I couldda just stumbled down the street to Sneaky Dee’s, but I heard they had like an emo dance party or something. So instead we’re hanging out at Burrito Starz, this funky, not-so-little joint at Richmond and Spadina. This place used to be an Italian restaurant — they’ve still got pictures of Italy on the walls — but now they’re serving up oven-grilled burritos, quesadillas, and these never-deep-fried, oven-baked nachos:

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Now, I’m no Dali’s Llama, but when it comes to nachos, I try to be one with everything. That’s why these chips come fully loaded with tomatoes, green onion, red onion, green pepper, black beans, jalapenos, cilantro, corn, guac, salsa, burrito sauce and sour cream…oh, and steak. No soy veggie soy nachos, hermano!

Now, the problem with the baking process is that the cheese doesn’t stick to the chips, so the bottom chips are completely plain, while the top layer looks like this:

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So yeah, I guess if you’re gonna cook your nachos like a lasagna, you gotta layer the meat ‘n the cheese, bro! The people who owned the place before it turned Mexican couldda told em that!!!

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