Dirty Deeds, Done with Beef @ Yonge-Dundas Rib Fest

Now, some people might spend the May 24 weekend getting wasted at the cottage with the long-reigning monarch of a by-gone era. But for me, the unofficial start of summer is the Yonge-Dundas Rib Fest, right in downtown Flavourtown. You’ve got beef ribs, pork ribs, brisket sammies, a bloomin’ onion, churros…and even an AC/DC tribute band!? Shut the front, back, rear, side, aft, port and starboard doors, son!!!

So, outta all the meat merchants, you KNOW I had to hit up Texas Jack’s from Arlington, Texas. Or, at least that’s what their sign said — the girl behind the counter was wearing a trucker hat from Martin’s BBQ in Nashville. Now, Texas BBQ is all about the brisket, and while you couldn’t get it lean or fatty, they were serving up chopped brisket sandwiches like they do after 2 pm at Franklin’s:

Now, this sandwich might be like 14 bucks, but at least they don’t shortchange ya on the meat, shoving all kinds of chopped beefy goodness between two hot dog buns. The only thing I’d say, and I don’t say this every day, is that this brisket couldda used some sauce — but that’s actually my bad for not squirting some from the giant containers out front.

Now, even though I saw em sitting right there on the grill, these beef ribs weren’t actually on the menu, which meant you had to make a special request. This also meant that the meat had probably been sitting on the grill too long — I had to really rip at it with my two front teeth. But hey, anytime you gotta fight your food, that just makes it taste better, right?

Of course, even after putting more meat in my mouth than I did at the Montana Testicle Festival, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! These chocolate-covered churros were two for six dollars, and came with an all-you-can-sprinkle sugar bar. Since the wind was blowing, there was so much white powder on my clothes that I looked like I was partying with Charlie Sheen, son!!!

As for the tuneage, The AC/DC Show Canada was the closest we’ll get to catching the Thunder from Down Under without somebody like Axl Rose singing. And hey, they might not have giant cannons, an inflatable Rosie or a swinging Hell’s Bell, but at least they didn’t play any of the boring AC/DC songs from the last 20 years!!!