Turkish sausage and egg pizza @ Mr. Pide

Now, I’m all about the pizza – dude, this is body by pizza, bro! And man, I’ve had all kinds of pizza from all over the place…Detroit-style pizza, vegan pizza, even spam and pineapple pizza! But this is not pizza – it’s a pide, bro!

This thin-crust Turkish flatbread is baked like a pizza in a stone oven at Mr. Pide on the Danforth, where they’ve got 20 different kinds to choose from. I went with the Sucuklu Yumurtali, topped with eggs and Turkish sausage…this one doesn’t actually have cheese.

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Now, the crust is nice and crispy – I like the flaky end pieces – with a whole lotta eggy goodness, and a nice little kick from the sausage. They actually stuff sausage inside and then put more on top – it’s a Double Sausage Party in Flavourtown! And they come with added veggies like tomatoes, onions and parsley – but who needs veggies when you’ve got so much sausage???

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Finally tried the famous Richmond Station burger…

Now, I’m not really sure if there is a best burger in Toronto, one that’s so iconic that makes it a must-see in this city… But one burger that gets brought up a lot is the one at Richmond Station – it’s stuffed with beef short ribs, son! I’ve only had half a slider at Taste of Toronto a couple years ago, but now, it’s time for the real thing:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a medium-rare burger, with aged cheddar, dill pickle, a beet chutney and garlic donkey sauce, all on a milk bun. What it lacks in size, it makes up in flavour – the short rib/ground beef combo is outta bounds, bro! And they don’t short-change ya on the fries, either…

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These warm ‘n tasty spuds are served with a side of lemon donkey sauce. It’s a donkey sauce double-down in Flavourtown!!!

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Of course, even after polishing off all those taters, you KNOW we’ve still got room for dessert. This chocolate pie was the dessert of the day – dude, this is body by chocolate pie! – so I totally had to try it. But it’s really not much of a pie, though. More of a chocolate pudding, with this crunchy crust ring around the rosie. Man, I dunno how I feel about deconstructed desserts, bro…

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On the other hand, their signature beer was TheBomb.ca, son! This Richmond Station Brown Ale is brewed by Niagara College Teaching Brewery, and it’s got just the roasty, toasty taste I’m looking for. I could totally pound a ton of these!!!

I’m about to go all Gene Simmons on some lamb tongue, son!!!

Now, I’m not normally in Waterloo Region unless they’ve got a country music festival going on or something. But when I heard that Langdon Hall, one of Canada’s best restaurants on the outskirts of Cambridge, was serving up lamb three ways, I was all over that like a three-way between Guy Fieri, John Catucci and a pound of bacon, bro!!!!

Now, before we get to the lamb, we’re starting off with some poached scallops. These ocean pearls were served cold, with chunks of apple and a celery jello . There’s always room for celery jello, bro!!!

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But now we’re calling Dr. Lamb in Flavourtown. This tasty tongue kinda had the texture of cabeza, or beef’s head, which I’ve had before in a few tacos. The lamb chop was cooked perfectly, the lamb bacon was super-legit, and the gravy on the plate is what makes it. You know I’m gonna lick it up, lick it up, whoa-oh-oh!!!!

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Of course, the portions at this place aren’t very yuuuge, so you KNOW I still had room for dessert…

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On the dessert menu, they just call this Chocolate. Me, I call it funkalicious. You’ve got a 70% chocolate sponge cake, with a raspberry mousse and a brownie cracker crust. Pretty sure I could eat, like, eight of these…

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Now, obviously you know I’m a beer guy — this ain’t Burgers, Bacon & Strawberry Daiquiris, bro! But all the cocktails at this place all are named after hit songs like “Oops, I Seed-Lipped Again,” “You Can Stand Under My Umber-Weller” and “A Shrub is a Guy Who Thinks He’s Fly” (and is also known as a buster). So when I saw the “Hey, Amaro-Carena!” I had to get up and do the dance, bro! This cocktail has got Amaro Trevisano, celery bitters, red pepper basil, lemon and ginger beer, for a hit of spicy bitterness. Heeeey, marijuana!!!

Shrimp pizza on the patio @ Viaggio, bro!

We’re hanging out at Viaggio, this funky little Italian joint that’s pretty far west on Dundas West, with a patio that’s almost as big as the whole restaurant. This place has got all kinds of funky starters like caponata, burrata and grilled asparagus – you cuss, I cuss, we all cuss for asparagus, bro!!!

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But you know if I’m at a real-deal Italian joint, it’s pretty hard for me not to order pizza. This here’s The Commodore, with Cape Breton shrimp(!) and anchovy brown butter:

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Now, I dunno what they put in this crust, but it’s got a really nice chew. It’s a little thicker, and a little doughier than your Neapolitan pies, with maybe a hint of sourdough. Anyways, I guess the shrimp in Cape Breton aren’t all that big, or they musta shrunk in the wash or something. And I couldda used maybe some chili oil to give this a little extra kick. Still one of the best seafood pizzas I’ve had this month, though…

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Of course, even with the moon hitting my eye, I polished off this pizza pie and still had room for dessert, bro! These tiramisu pancakes are nice and thick, topped with marscapone cream and espresso syrup… All that’s missing are some ladyfingers!!!

Real-deal Polish food @ Cafe Polonez

You know me, this is body by pierogis, bro! These potato dumplings of funk are served up all across Eastern Europe — and at a few funky joints here in Toronto, like Tennessee Tavern. But if you wanna get the real-deal, OG, Polish pierogis, you gotta go to this place that’s been servin’ em up since 1981… This is Cafe Polonez!

And Polonez ain’t just about pierogis, either. They’ve got all the classics like schnitzel, goulash, paprikash and cabbage rolls, to name a few. It’s hard to pick just one, son — so I went with the combo platter, which gives you pierogis, schnitzel, hunter’s stew and not one, but two types of salad. Hey, if you put salad in front of me, I guess I’ll eat it?

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Let’s start with the pierogis. These pillowy pieces of potatoey goodness are magically delicious! Nice and soft, stuffed with cheese, with a little sour cream and some minced pork on top — pretty sure I could slam, like, 32 of these!!!

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Dude, this schnitzel is too legit-zel to quit-zel! Pork is pounded and fried to perfection, and then you’ve got these fresh mushrooms on top — the mushrooms are what makes it!!!

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And then you’ve got this funky dish of deliciousness – bigos aka hunter’s stew. Basically, they’re slow-cooking sauerkraut with some sausage and pieces of roast pork. This dish is soooo bad and boujee, bro!!!

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Now, this place isn’t just serving up all the old-school, home-style Polish classics — they’ve got all the Polish beers, too: Zywiec, Okocim, Lezajsk, Tyskie, Lech, Warka and Tatra. They’re pretty much all pilsners, so I went with Lezajsk, which has a bit more of a kick, and tastes a lot like the Portuguese pilsner Sagres. Just don’t ask me to pronounce it properly!!!