So, we’re hanging out at Eastside Social, this funky little joint on Queen St E that’s kickin’ it East Coast style with all kinds of seafood. You’ve got octopus, ceviche, crab cakes, poke…and these crunchy onion rings of the sea, fried calamari:
Not gonna lie, this was some of the best calamari I’ve ever had. The squid just melts in your mouth like buttah! Batter is crispy, but not too heavy, you’ve got some zest from the lemon, and a nice chimichurri aioli. I would put that on a flip-flop!!!
Of course, because one fried thing deserves another, we’re going with the fried chicken. These weren’t the biggest pieces of bird I’ve ever had, but throw in a chipotle hot sauce and a nice potater salad, and I definitely can’t complain…
So we’re hanging out at Big Ditch Brewing Company, this funky craft brewpub in the city that put the Buffalo in Buffalo wings. But at this joint, they don’t just toss ‘em in Frank’s Red Hot and butter – they’ve got a secret ingredient, their Hayburner IPA.
Now, these wings are super-crispy, straight outta fryer and very lightly sauced, with a side of blue cheese – dude, this is body by blue cheese! I went with mine medium, after the server said the only guy who likes ‘em hot is a fireman who burned off all the nerves in his tongue. I gotta say, there was not a whole lotta heat here…but I still hosed ‘em down with a couple beers, bro!
This is a pint of Lemon-Lime Pineapple Breeze, a seasonal special from their not-quite-winter menu. You’ve got a light, fruity, crushable wheat ale with pineapple juice, lemon zest and dry hops, for that little extra kick.
Now, after pounding that plate of wings, I still had room for some liquid dessert! This Cinnamon Apple Amber Ale is brewed with apple cider, cinnamon, allspice, oatmeal and brown sugar, and tastes pretty much the way it sounds. Still better than last year’s Mill St. Christmas beer, though!
So, we’re hanging out at Dunk Burgers & Chocolate, this funky little joint that just opened up on Queen St, a couple blocks west of Bathurst. Dude, this body is 50% burgers and 50% chocolate, so you KNOW I had to come check it out — and everything on the menu was 50% off for the first two weeks!!!!!!!!!
Now, this place has got 10 different burgers and chicken sammies to choose from — not even counting the Beyond Meat burger. This was the hardest decision I had to make all week, but I ended up going with the Got Cheddar, with its deep-fried pickles, over The O, which is topped with onion rings. I just don’t think I can get a better onion ring than the ones I had in Buffalo a couple weeks ago, bro!!!
Now, they definitely don’t shortchange ya on the cheese — and they also go pretty heavy on the BBQ sauce. But I was expecting some crispy, crunchy, pickle spears…and instead I got a couple pickle chips, which did not seem to have come Straight Outta Fryer. And hey, I get that they’re new, but they broke the First Rule of Flavourtown — when I asked to add (beef) bacon, they told me they were all out!!! 😮 😮 😮
Also, it’s probably worth mentioning that you can’t order any regular French-fried potaters here — they either had sweet potato waffle fries or home fries, which were described to me as “potato wedges” but are clearly more like your friendly neighbourhood hash browns. Don’t get me wrong, I would eat hash browns for breakfast, brunch, and post-Van-Halen-concert snack…but this might be the first time I’ve ever had ’em for dinner?
OK, so that burger might not have been as baller as Kawhi throwing down on Giannis, but they’re definitely kicking it up a notch for dessert. This here’s the Cookie Monster, and it’s yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy, son! You’ve got cookies, you’ve got brownies, you’ve got ice cream topped with not one, not two, but three kinds of Belgian chocolate drizzle!? Shut the front, back AND side doors, bro! Next time I’m coming here, I think I might skip right to dessert…
So, we’re hanging out at Woodlot, this funky little joint on Palmerston, just offa College Street. This place specializes in honest, simple, handmade food, with both a meat eater and a vegetarian menu. Yeah, so I didn’t even look at the second one…
Man, these ribs are fall-off-the-bone tender, with a Memphis-style dry rub and a side of crunchy slaw — so I guess I did get one serving of veggies. But you know I’m all about that meat, bro! Normally, I like sauce on my ribs, but that little dusting of dry rub really gave the swine a chance to shine!!!
Washed ’em all down with a Janky IPA, a slightly hoppy beer from Matron Brewing. Dude, this brewski is like Fred Van Vleet’s defence on Steph Curry in the Finals, bro!!!
So, we’re hanging out at Lalibela, this funky Ethiopian joint at Bloor and Ossington. Now, I’ve been to other Ethiopian joints before, but this one was named best in the city, and they’ve definitely got the most massive menu — with 69 dishes, not counting salad and desserts!!!
Now, I’ve done Ethiopian beef before, and I even went with a combo platter, but when I saw six different lamb dishes to choose from, I knew I had to pick one. So I went with the goden tibs, a mixture of cubed lamb and lamb ribs:
Now, this dish actually comes to the table fajita-style on a sizzling skillet, but then they dump it all out on the injera bread for you. The meat itself isn’t spicy, but when you get a bite of the raw jalapeno, that’ll poke a hole in yer taste buds, bro! And while I ate the bony bits with my bare mitts, I did go all Ethiopian style with the injera on the rest — just grip it and rip it, Bro Daly!!!
Now, I don’t always celebrate Thanksgiving — I’m thankful for bacon every day, bro! But when I heard that STK, this fancy steakhouse in Yorkville, was serving up turkey and all the trimmings, I figured I would come and check it out:
Now, they actually sous-vide the turkey, so it comes out nice and tender, with three equally sized slices. Then they smother it in gravy, with some green beans, mashed potaters, stuffing and a sweet potato puree. This was all pretty tasty, even though it only took up like a quarter of the plate — at my place, that plate is always full, bro!!!
While I stuck to beer the last time I was here, this joint does have some pretty funky cocktails (and also a pretty boring beer list). This here’s the Strawberry Cobbler, a festive special in Flavourtown with Belvedere vodka, muddled strawberries and a Graham cracker crust. It tastes kinda like a strawberry daiquiri, but with more cookies!!!
Of course, it’s safe to say that after such small servings, I’ve still got room for dessert. We’re talking apple pie, pumpkin pie, sticky toffee pudding and a whole bagga mini donuts… Good thing I wear stretchy pants every day of the week!!!
So, we’re hanging out at Northern Maverick, this funky microbrewery on Bathurst, just a short stumbling distance from Queen Street. Last time I was here, I slayed not one, but two Gosezillas… but this time, I’ve got an even bigger monster in my sights: the Beast Burger!
OK, now let’s break it down. What you’ve got is a dry-aged, ground chuck burger topped with braised beef brisket — dude, this is body by braised beef brisket! — a nice smoked cheese, some chipotle BBQ…and a couple pieces of kale, for that one serving of veggies. Man, this burger is so baller, you can get it medium rare and it won’t even give you Mad Cow Disease, bro!!!!
Of course, if we’re hanging out at a craft brewery, then you KNOW I ain’t drinkin’ hard seltzer, bro! This here’s their Festbier, an easy-drinking German Oktoberfest lager that’ll rock you like a hurricane. All that’s missing is Klaus Meine singing “Still Loving You,” son!!!
So, we’re hanging out at Allen Burger Venture, this funky little joint on Allen St, right in the heart of the cool part of Buffalo. If your favourite craft beer dive bar only played punk rock and new wave and had 14 different burgers – without counting the non-beef ones – on the menu, it would be this place. And you know me, I had to go with the funkiest of the funky bunch…this is burger number five, Lou Bro-ga!
Now, this has gotta be the most outta-bounds burger I’ve had since I ordered the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup burger, and made mine a double! You’ve got the salty creaminess of the peanut butter, some heat from the hot peppers, a nice chewy bacon, and a thick and juicy patty – and then you throw down some white cheddar!? Shut the back door!!!
But the funk train don’t stop there, son! These are some of the biggest, breadiest, crunchiest onion rings I’ve ever seen – and they’re beer-batted in Olde English 800, maybe the one beer I might not drink over Molson Canadian. It sure tastes good on some rings though, bro!!!!
And when it comes to beer, there ain’t no Canadian here! (They do have Labatt Blue Light though, for some reason.) Instead, you’ve got 24 taps of local craft beer, and even more in cans! This here is Nosferatu, a bloody red ale from Great Lakes Brewing – not the one from Etobicoke, but the one in Cleveland. And rather than the bitter taste of a Crazy Canuck, this brew actually reminds me more of Arch Brewing’s Dinner Jacket O’Red IPA, which used to be my Ottawa Redblacks beer…except that they don’t make it anymore. 😦
So, we’re posting up at Il Posto, this funky joint in Yorkville that’s been dishing out Italian classics since the early 80’s. Man, this place has got all the pastas: spaghetti, tagliatelle, penne, gnocchi and tagliolini, but when I saw the ravioli de carne e spinaci, I knew I had to try it:
OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got these homemade noodles, stuffed with veal and spinach, and smothered in a tomato and basil sauce. Plus, they give you a whole bowl of Parmesan for the table — I would put that on a flip-flop! This dish was quite tasty, but I could probably eat twice as many…dude, this is body by ravioli!!!!
So, we’re hanging out at Tennessee Tavern, this funky little dive serving up Eastern European eats in Parkdale. Last time we were here, I chowed down on some too-legit-to-quit schnitzel and a pile of pillowy pierogis. My biggest regret was that I only ordered six of them. Good thing I don’t make the same mistake twice, though!!!
Now, these little pieces of Polish perfection are boiled with bacon and onions, and served with a side of sour cream…make that two sides of sour cream. The pierogis are soft like butter, and small enough that I can scarf em down in just a couple bites — no knife needed! And while 24 is the largest size they serve ’em up on the menu, they do have AYCE pierogis after 6 pm on Sundays. Not sure how many I can polish off, but it’s definitely more than 24, bro!!!
Burgers, Bacon & Beer 