Monthly Archives: December 2019

Kamayan IV: A New Feast

So we’re back with a new edition of Kamayan, the Filipino feast you eat with your hands! And this time we’re hanging out at Boodle Fight, this funky little joint on the Danforth. Unlike a few of the Filipino joints we’ve been to, this place actually has a liquor licence, so we’re starting off with a San Miguel, the official beer of the Philippines:

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And now, let’s dive right in. This place offers two kinds of kamayan feasts — meat AND seafood, but you KNOW I can’t eat just one, bro, so we went with a bit of both:

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Pork skewer on a stick? Don’t mind if I do!!!

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It’s all about that deep-fried pork belly, bro!!!!

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One thing that sets this place apart from other kamayans is the BBQ chicken leg. Just grip it and rip it, son!!!!!!!

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Now, they actually skin their squid…but it was more tender than the last boodle fight I went to!

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Of course, it wouldn’t be kamayan without a roly-poly fish head… Say hello to ma lil’ friend!!!!

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When we were at Bagnet Bros, I was a bit bummed out that their plantain spring roll was a dish served cold. But here, they’re kicking it up a notch with a warm banana spring roll, with a side of ice cream… This dish is bananas, and bananas is good!!!!

Turkey dinner on a pizza, bro!!!!

Now, I don’t always eat turkey, but when I heard that Boston Pizza was putting turkey dinner on a pizza, I knew my Christmas dinner plans were set, son! You’ve got rotisserie turkey, some chunks of stuffing, a rosemary cream sauce and enough green onions to feed Booker T and the MGs…but the gravy is what makes it!

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Dude, if you think gravy on pizza is weird, you clearly haven’t had vegan poutine pizza before, bro! In this case, it goes pretty great with the meaty hunks of turkey and all that rosemary — I might not put it on a flip-flop, but I will put it straight down my piehole!!!!

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And the best part is that it comes with not one, but two Toblerone bars — cuz you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert!!!!!!

Beef ‘n boar bolognese — the Triple B of pasta, bro!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Jump, this funky joint in the Financial District. This place was playing all kinds of 80’s music, but I didn’t hear any Van Halen…Jamie may or may not be crying right now. Last time I went here was for Winterlicious, but when I saw the beef ‘n boar bolognese, I knew I had to come check it out — it’s a Triple B pasta on Triple B, bro!!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got thick, homemade bucatini noodles, topped with the double-meat sauce, a little rapini, and some Pecorino Romano, to kick it up a notch. The dish has a bit of heat, but not too spicy, and there’s probably enough food for one person here — I still had room for dessert, but nothing on the menu jumped out at me…

Beef brisket on a burger @ Marben

Now, it goes without saying that burgers and brisket are two of my favourite things…but when you put one on top of the other, that’s when the magic happens! So, we’re hanging out at Marben, this funky gastropub on Wellington with a not-so-secret speakeasy downstairs. I actually had their famous beef-brisket burger in slider size at Burgermania last year, but now the full-sized version is running wild on you, brother!!!!

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OK, so maybe this burger ain’t packing 24-inch pythons — it looks pretty puny in my massive man-mitts… But the flavours are definitely still there. You’ve got an Angus beef patty, cooked to a nice medium-rare, topped with aged cheddar, braised brisket and Branston pickle on a beef-fat brioche bun? Dude, Beef Fat Brioche was my karaoke nickname in college!!!!

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Of course, we’re not about to wash down this bad boy with a herbal mint tea! Instead, I chugged a couple of Ochames, a green tea IPA from Burdock. You do get a bit of that smooth tea flavour, with some hazy citrus hoppiness, coming in at just under 7%. I would soooo drink this for breakfast, bro!!!!!!!

Pizza for breakfast? Don’t mind if I do, bro!!!

So, the other day we’re hanging out at Constantine, this funky joint inside the Anndore Hotel, just about a block away from the new Chick-fil-A at Yonge and Bloor. But unlike Chick-fil-A, this place serves up a solid spread on Sundays, including this funkalicious brunch dish, the Breakfast Pizza:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got some spicy n’duja sausage, a couple quail eggs and some great green globs of basil pesto on a thin, crunchy crust. Now, I’d say the size of this pizza is about right for breakfast, but I can definitely eat a whole lot more pizza for dinner…

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Of course, you can’t have breakfast pizza without breakfast beer, bro! This here’s a Vermont Blond from Burdock, a funky craft brewery in the West End. You’ve got a light, refreshing blonde ale with just a hint of lemon, so you know it’s lemony fresh. I could probably pound a few more of these — hey, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, Alan Jack-son!!!!

Solid steak ‘n eggs @ Sofia!

Now you know me, I don’t always get up in time for breakfast, bro–unless, of course, there’s steak involved. So, we’re hanging out at Sofia, this funky Italian joint in Yorkville, that’s serving up brunch on the weekends, with dishes like ricotta pancakes and cacio e pepe scrambled eggs… But I came here for one thing, and one thing only, and that’s steak:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a 4 oz tenderloin, grilled medium rare and sliced up nicely, which goes great with the fluffy scrambled eggs. Then on the side, you’ve got a whole vine of cherry tomatoes, some charred onions, mixed greens and a couple slices of Focaccia — cuz you KNOW we ain’t gluten-free, bro!!!!!!

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Washed it all down with their signature Verde Bloody Mary. This breakfast smoothie in Flavourtown has got cucumber and mint vodka, Clamato, lime juice, steak spice and some pickled olives, for added nutritional value. Between those babies, the tomatoes and the salad, I musta had at least three servings of veggies this week!!!!

Eating all the meats @ Campechano Taqueria

Happy Taco Tuesday, bro! We’re hanging out at Campechano Taqueria, this funky little joint right at the corner of Adelaide and Portland, where they’re serving up some real-deal Mexican meals. Now, this place is actually kinda smart — if you order four tacos, they bring ’em out one at a time, instead of all at once, so they don’t get cold.

And since they were all outta carnitas, I had to try every other meat on the menu. We’re talking lamb, we’re talking steak, chicken and chorizo… Right here, right now on Triple B!!!

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Dude, this barbacoa taco is ba-ba-ba-ba-bad to the bone, bro! You’ve got braised lamb leg, topped with cilantro, chile adobo and some jalapeno salsa… Pretty sure I could slam 17 of these — but then I wouldn’t have room for chorizo y papas!

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And this chorizo’s off the chain, bro! You’ve got pork sausage, fingerling potatoes, onions, cilantro, salsa verde and crema…I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

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And now for something completely different. You’ve heard of tacos al pastor? Well, it’s like that, except, instead of pork, it’s chicken. Not sure if they cook it on a spit, but you’ve got some nice chunks of el pollo loco, paired with pineapple, cilantro and two kinds of salsa. It’s kinda funky, but it’s pretty tasty!!!

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Now, it’s time for the main event. This ribeye steak taco is nine bucks, which seems like a lot when you can get nueve de carnitas for that price at Latin World. But the flavours are totally on point — some of the best meat I’ve ever had in a taco, with avocado, cilantro and a spicy salsa macha. I had to pound a coupla brewskis to beat the heat, bro!!!

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Now, speaking of brewskis… This joint has got Dos Equis on tap, but for 50 cents more, they’ll pour ya a pint of this Vibrant Saison from Avling Brewery. It’s light, refreshing, more tart than tangy…and totally soaks up some of that hot sauce!

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Of course, even after all that taco goodness, you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert, bro! The dessert menu here is just one line, and you’re looking at it: tres leches de fresas, a strawberry sponge cake soaked in condensed milk. I’m about to moo-ve it on over straight down my piehole, son!!!!!