TORONTO’S TOP TAKOUT: Takin’ and bakin’ some real-deal Jamaican!!!

Now, I’ve never been to Patois before… but I did have their Jamaican patty double-down sammy at Union Market a few years back, so I knew their food’s legit. And when I found out they were delivering care packages of heat-‘n-eat Jamaican classics, you KNOW I had to get in on that, bro!

Now, their half pack was meant for two people, but if you’re stuck in self-isolation, there’s probably enough food here for two full meals — in fact, that’s just what I did.

So, we’re starting off with a Jamaican takeout classic — jerk chicken with rice and peas and coleslaw. And lemme tell ya, there was more than enough coleslaw for two people here! Now, the chicken leg was alright ‘n all, but when I bit into the breast, that’s when the magic happened…

Dude, this breast is the best! The meat was super tender and juicy, the skin gets a little extra char from being reheated in the oven, and there’s a little bit of spice, but not too overpowering. Of course, I washed it all down with a Jamaican ginger beer…

And even after slaughtering a half-chicken, rice and peas, and at least a pound of crunchy coleslaw, you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro!!!!

Now, I’m guessing they don’t chow down on this dish in Trenchtown — but it doesn’t get much more Toronto than rum cake tiramisu! You’ve got cocoa, you’ve got marscapone…but instead of ladyfingers, it’s a real-deal Carribean rum cake underneath! I’ve had rum cake from the Bahamas, and this one was definitely on point!!!

Now, since we went with the Jamaican classic dinner on Friday, tonight was more of a buffet of flavours from the rest of the delivery order. You’ve got stewed oxtail in a rich gravy, a couple itty bitty beef patties, Trinidadian-style mac pie, a side of plantain chips with garlic sauce…oh and some kimchi brussels sprouts. Yeah, I dunno how those got here, either.

Now, even though I probably needed to reheat it longer than they suggested, the oxtail meat still came right off the bone — these are like little baby beef ribs in Flavourtown! The patties were nice ‘n hot after 15 min in the oven, the plantain chips with the garlic sauce was a nice, tasty snack and that mac pie, man…I wish I could have mac ‘n cheese shaped into a pie with every meal — there’s nothing wrong with that at all!

On the other hand, I wasn’t as much a fan of the kimchi brussels sprouts, a dish served cold like revenge. Now, I don’t mind kimchi with Korean BBQ, but the bitterness kinda clashed with the oxtail gravy and everything else — one of these tings was not like the other, mon!

Oh, and speaking of Ting…

This Jamaican 7-Up goes pretty good with spicy food — although the only thing that was really spicy about tonight’s meal was the pineapple scotch bonnet sauce on the side. (I still got a bunch of it left to make some hot wings, or something…) For an extra 25 bucks, Patois will add a six-pack of Red Stripe to your order, but I gotta say, I’m glad I stuck with the Jamaican soda. Yeah, we be jammin!