Monthly Archives: June 2020

PATIO LIT EATS: Mac ‘n cheese poutine, pulled pork grilled cheese, total cheesefest!!!

York Region started reopening a few days before Toronto, so they’ve had a little more time to get their patio scene up and running. That’s why we’re headed up to Unionville to check out a funky little joint that’s been voted best patio in town 16 years running — this is Jake’s on Main.

And, when looking at their menu of funkalicious pub grub, I couldn’t decide between the mac ‘n cheese poutine and the BBQ pulled pork grilled cheese…so I just ordered both!

Now, I did make mac ‘n cheese nachos before, in one of my drunken stupors, but I never would have thought to put the mac on top of poutine. So I gotta give my brother Jake his props — this dish was freaky, deeky, eat-it-any-day-of-the-weeky! Noodles are cooked perfectly, with a nice creaminess, and then that extra layer of cheese from the poutine really kicks it up a notch!

OK, so maybe it’s not a proper poutine — there’s no gravy, or Quebec cheese curds here — but I don’t really think gravy would make this dish taste better. Now, if you poured some queso on me, that’s a whole nother ballgame, bro!!!!

And then, I was hoping that this festival of funk in Flavourtown would continue onto the grilled cheese sammy, but as you can probably see, it wasn’t equal parts cheesy and porky — more like a pulled pork sandwich with a slice of cheddar on top. And the pork wasn’t bad, or anything, but it just didn’t quite knock it outta the park. Maybe I’ll just hafta order two poutines next time! 😛

Now, you KNOW this blog isn’t Burgers, Bacon and Long Island Iced Tea — so we’re totally slamming some patio beers, bro! And nothing screams patio beer like this Big Tiki Tropical Punch Blonde from the hopheads at Hop City. Packed with passionfruit, pineapple, mango and papaya, it tastes more like fruit punch than beer — and at 4.5%, I can pound these until the sun goes down, son!!!

PATIO LIT EATS: Three-course, real-deal Italian meal!

Man, it feels like Toronto is the last place in the world to reopen after this Coronavirus! But finally, last night, restaurants were allowed to open across the city — for patio dining only. So, it’s time to bust out the Kim Mitchell, cuz you KNOW I’m gonna be the first to eat, bro!!!

We’re breaking the seal at Blu Ristorante, this classy Italian joint in Yorkville. They actually just moved into new digs on Avenue Road, in a space that used to be Estia (another Italian joint), with a great front-porch patio. Now, especially for a Wednesday night, this place was packed — we had to wait about 20 mins to get a table. But what’s 20 minutes when I’ve been waiting three and a half months for this???

We’re starting off with one of my personal favourites, grilled calamari, on a bed of mixed greens with olives, capers and pepperonata. These actually came with seedless olives, so you didn’t have to spit the pits out onto the plate — that’s some solid social distancing in Flavourtown! But the squid was cooked perfectly; not too firm, but not too chewy. I usually like my calamari like my chicken (fried), but I definitely can’t complain about this dish!

And then we’re going for another real-deal Italian meal… say hello to ma lil’ friend osso buco, served over risotto with a chunky tomato sauce. Now, the last time I was here, I had a killer veal chop, so I know they know their way around baby beef — but this meat was so fall-apart tender, you didn’t even need a knife to cut it! And don’t let the super-close-up fool ya — that’s a pretty big hockey puck of flavour in Flavourtown!!!

Now, the sun went down before dessert, so the patio lights really added an extra spark to this picture. They were all sold out of my first choice — tiramisu — so I went with panna cotta instead. I think I ate this little slab of gelatin in 4-5 bites…but after all that osso buco, I really didn’t need much more than this.

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 6 meat Turkish feast!!!

On Father’s Day Weekend, Uber Eats gave me two codes for 50% off, on orders up to 50 bucks. I wanted to make the most of it by supporting a couple of local, family-run restaurants and making some yuuuge orders! (I believe Uber pays the difference to the restaurant while giving me the discount — hopefully I’m not wrong on that.) Now, you KNOW I love lamb, and shawarma is my jam, so when I found this funky Turkish joint on the Danforth called Efes Kebab House (listed as Efes Bar and Grill on Uber Eats), I totally had to check it out!

And when it came to making my 50 bucks count, I was definitely going big with this six-meat symphony in Flavourtown — the Ocak Basi Mix:

Dude, when your meal comes in a big metal catering tray, you know that’s a lotta food! You’ve got some chicken and beef shish kebab, along with chicken and beef doner — which is basically shawarma — meatballs, a lamb chop and a bed of rice with some warm pita bread, along with a side salad. But what makes it is the adana kebab:

I’ll be honest, the lamb chop is what caught my eye when I first saw this dish, but little did I know, I’d be getting two lambs for the price of one! This ground lamb skewer is cooked over charcoal, which really gives the meat a nice flavour. I’m sure glad I got a nice long piece!!!

But really, this whole dish was delish — no crumb left behind, son!!!

Now, after all that meat, I didn’t really need something sweet, but these two little two-bite baklava rolls hit the spot! I didn’t expect them to come with this dish, but I guess when you buy the biggest, meatiest platter, as well as a tub of hummus (I saved some of it for snacking later), they throw in the dessert for free — which makes this a 5-star experience in Flavourtown!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Double red chorizo burger…with a pineapple on top!

Now, with all the businesses that have shut down during the pandemic, it’s rare that you hear about a restaurant that closed last year reopening in the middle of all this — but that’s exactly what happened with Harry’s Charbroiled, this legendary Parkdale burger joint. The place shut its doors in October, but reopened in April on Uber Eats, serving up real-deal burgers and fries out of an address on College St.

Now, this is body by burgers, bro, so you KNOW I had to check it out — and when I saw they had a funky red chorizo burger, I made mine a double! This is the Red Burger:

What I like most about this burger is there’s no veggies whatsoever. You’ve got two charbroiled red chorizo patties, melty Swiss cheese, bacon (which costs $2 extra) and grilled pineapple, shoved between a not-quite-big-enough bun. There’s a nice texture on the pork, some added chew from the bacon, a bit of sweetness from those pineapple chunks, and then the cheese, which really brings it all together. Now, I know that small buns make the sausage patty look bigger, but I *maybe* couldda used a little more bread here…

On the other hand, I really can’t complain about the size of these spuds. The thick ‘n crunchy fries were nicely salted, and stayed warm and crispy after delivery. Man, normally I would go for some chili cheese fries or loaded tater tots or something, but these plain and simple taters really hit the spot — just like the burger did!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Sushi and tacos and dumplings, oh my!

June 16, 2020
greedocatucci
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barbacoa, gyoza, sushi, tacos, The Haam, Toronto takeout

Now, sometimes deciding what to order for lunch can be tricky. Do I want tacos, or do I want sushi? And how bout a couple dumplings on the side? Well, at The Haam, this funky Japanese inspired Mexican joint on Adelaide, you can get all three with their sushi and taco combo, bro!!!

So you KNOW I gotta start off with the taco, son! This gochujang barbacoa piles lots of guac, lettuce, crema, queso and cilatro on top of tasty braised beef inside a hard-shell taco…which got pretty soggy cuz it took an hour to deliver, sadly.

On the sushi side, I settled on a six-pack of Spicy Crunch Salmon rolls. Dude, Spicy Crunch Salmon is the name of my fishing boat, bro!!!

Now, if you order the sushi and taco combo from DoorDash — and only from DoorDash — they throw in two beef gyoza for free. The only problem was that my DoorDash delivery took so long that these dumps were cold as ice, ice baby! But I gotta say, the flavours from this joint were on point. So I would probably order from them again — only next time, Imma stick with Uber Eats…

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: $200 steak dinner, delivered!!!

Uber Eats gave me a code for 25% off this week, so I was looking for the most expensive, decadent meal I could order for delivery…and I think I found it. Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse is one of the classiest steak joints in Toronto, with premium cuts of Japanese beef that can set you back four bills, bro! Now, they weren’t delivering the (really) good stuff — their priciest cut was an 8oz Wagyu tenderloin from Australia for $168. Throw in a couple of sides, and let’s just say I saved 48 dollars today. 😉

My order arrived in about 35 minutes, and the aluminum containers kept everything nice and warm, so I definitely can’t complain! And who needs fine china when you’ve got heavy metal, bro???

Now, the first thing I thought when I took everything out of the delivery bags was “Man, these mushrooms smell amazing!” You’ve got a nice mix of roasted ‘shrooms, with some butter and chives, making this the perfect steak sidekick in Flavourtown!

But make no mistake, this steak was the star of the show. The baseball-sized sirloin melts like butter and cuts with a butter knife, Bro-an Adams! Now, I wouldn’t normally put any sauce on such a great steak, but a bit of that chimichurri and a couple dabs of horseradish really kicked it up a notch!

When it comes to the other sides, well, the duck fat fries were tasty — sorta like an elevated Swiss Chalet — but what really makes this dinner was something I didn’t even hafta pay for…the real-deal bread rolls!

With a meal like this, you really don’t wanna fill up on bread, but I just had to eat both of these — they’re like muffins meets Yorkshire pudding in Flavourtown! And that chive butter was super legit… I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

Now, some people might drink wine with a nice meal like this, but you KNOW I’m all about the beer, bro! So I’m washing it down with a Unify or Die, this funky spiced stout from Blood Brothers, one of my favourite local breweries. (Dude, they’ve even got an Iron Maiden beer!!!) This brew’s got the silky smooth body of a Guinness, but with a lot more vanilla, and a bit of cinnamon, for that extra kick. And man, is there a better-named beer for this whole pandemic thing???

Now, even though I saved over 48 bucks on this order, after taxes, fees and a reasonable tip, I still ended up dropping just over 200. But man, it was money well spent, son! If I ever sign a big NHL contract or something, I KNOW where I’m going for dinner!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Fried chicken ‘n ribs from Uncle Ray’s

Now, I’m not gonna lie — I’ve got a big list of funky takeout joints that I’ve been meaning to check out. But sometimes, I come across a place that looks so good, it goes right to the top of the list…like this funky soul-food joint at the foot of Church Street, Uncle Ray’s Food & Liquor.

Now, this place has got all the classics — grilled chicken, fried chicken, ribs, burgers, hot chicken, beef short rib, chicken ‘n waffles… But the thing is, you can’t order ribs on their own. They only come in a chicken ‘n rib combo — and that’s grilled chicken, not fried chicken. So, to buy a ticket to this festival of funk in Flavourtown, I had to order a chicken & ribs combo for one AND a two-piece fried chicken plate. Any more chickens, and I’d hafta ask for a Coke, blues bro!!!

But I put the grilled chicken in the fridge for later, cuz this is the star of the show, right here:

Dude, this bird is the word! And believe it or not, but it’s boneless… which means more bird for your buck! Actually, I’ve had this fried chicken before — the chicken ‘n waffles Sunday special at Union Chicken uses the same recipe, which is super-crunchalicious! Only here, they throw in some pickles and a legit hot honey, which really kicks it up a notch!!!

Now, this might just look like one giant piece of pork, but there are actually two bones to this order — which is good, because otherwise, I’d hafta file a complaint. Ribs were nice ‘n meaty, with a nice glaze, but not too saucy. And you definitely can’t complain about the size!

Now, the chicken ‘n ribs combo comes with not one, not two, but three sides, which is just about enough to fill me up, buttercup! You’ve got some spicy baked beans with a nice kick, the mayo from the slaw to cool off the spice, and then a buttermilk biscuit with a nice honey butter — I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

Let’s just say that after all this eatin’ good in the neighbourhood, I might hafta save that grilled chicken for tomorrow…

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Well, I’ll be a Venezuelan’s breakfast…

Now, since all the restaurants in Toronto have gone to takeout and delivery, one thing I haven’t seen a lot of is brunch or breakfast food. Another thing you don’t see every day? How bout real-deal Venezuelan, like they’re serving up at El Venezolano, this funky joint on the Danforth!!!

Now, this place is cooking up an all-day breakfast — but it’s not just any breakfast, it’s a Venezuelan breakfast, bro! Check out this righteous melody!!!

OK, now let’s break it down. What we’ve got here is shredded beef, black beans, scrambled eggs with some onions and peppers — kinda like a Western omelette — a whole pile of shredded cheese, and then an arepa, this Latin American corn cake, sliced into four pieces. The beef is super-tender, goes nice with a little melty cheese, a bit of kick from the peppers in the eggs…and more black beans than I would normally eat in any meal, never mind breakfast! Still, this dish was super-tasty — and this is the perfect bite, right here:

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Italian flag pizza from Eataly

Now, I never got the chance to check out Eataly Toronto when it opened late last year — they always had some crazy lineups, bro! I guess the grocery store’s still open…but who needs groceries when you can have pizza? And at this place, they’re serving up not one, but two kinds of authentic Italian pizza: Roman AND Neapolitan!

Now, it’s hard to pick a favourite among so many great pies, but since I can really only eat one pizza at time, I had to go for the one that’s like three pizzas in one — this is the Tricolore:

This rectangular pie was made to look like the Italian flag — with rows of red, white and green. Now, I’m not gonna get all three flavours in one bite, so I gotta make like Dexter Holland and keep ’em separated!

So, we’re starting off with the green side, which has mozzarella and pecorino topped with a basil pesto. Dude, this crust is crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, and this cheesy combo is TheBomb.it — then the tangy pesto really kicks it up a notch!

The white slice in the middle also doubles down on cheesy goodness with Goronzola flor di latte and grana padano. While this is still, like, 10 times better than Pizza Pizza, I actually liked the cheesiness of the basil slice a bit more…

Now, we’re saving the most legit for last with a classic slice of Margherita: tomato sauce, Buffalo mozzarella and one lonely leaf of basil. Now, while the foil-lined pizza box kept the pizza at a decent temp (delivery took about 30 min), it was getting a little cold at this point. But that sauce was super-legit, cheese was pretty tasty, and the crust was on point. Even after scarfing down that whole pie in less than 15 minutes, I would totally order another Marg pizza — I’d just hafta keep it warm in the oven, or something…

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Who needs butter chicken when you’ve got butter lamb?

Now, I loves me a good AYCE Indian buffet — but something tells me we won’t be seeing any buffets anytime soon. So, to satisfy my craving for Indian food, I came across this funky joint on Parliament called Butter Chicken Factory. This place was named Best Butter Chicken in Toronto by both BlogTO and Toronto.com in 2016, so you know if there’s one thing I gotta order, it’s gonna be…butter lamb. Wait, what???

Now, if there’s one thing I love even more than AYCE buffet, it’s gotta be lamb. I have scarfed down so many lamb dishes right here on Triple B, bro! I’ve even had Indian-style lamb before…but until now, I didn’t even know that butter lamb was a thing. But for just one dollar more than the butter chicken, you KNOW I had to check it out!!!

OK, so I actually made a plate of rice, rather than ordering it from the Factory. I mean, why would I pay for rice when I’ve got more than enough to eat at home? Dude, I like butter chicken and all, but swapping the chicken for lamb really kicks it up a notch. You’ve got a nice, creamy, buttery tomato sauce, and then the added richness of the lamb just makes it taste that much better!

Man, that sauce is so good, I’d eat it off a face mask! And I gotta say, the sauce-to-meat ratio here was about 3-to-1. I mean, I still got about a dozen pieces of lamb — but there was so much sauce, it was spilling off the side of the plate! Good thing I’ve got a buncha bread to soak it up, though…

Maaan, this garlic naan is like a culinary lifesaver in Flavourtown! This chewy bread temple tastes good on its own, even better with the sauce, or you can do how they do in India — just rip it and grip it, bro!!!!!!

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