Monthly Archives: December 2020

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Ringin’ in the new year with a rack of ribs!

Waaay back in February, when it looked like 2020 was gonna be just another year, I destroyed some beef ribs at a funky BBQ joint called Smoque N’ Bones. So, now that we’re hoping that 2021 will be just another year, I am ending 2020 with some baby back ribs, also from Smoque N’ Bones. This place was offering up a new year’s special of a full rack and two sides for 73 bucks, which is almost twice as much as the KISS PPV NYE concert…but at least it doesn’t start at 1 in the afternoon. Cuz you KNOW I’m gonna rock ‘n roll all nite and eat ribs every day, bro!!!!!!

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These bones were still smokin’ when my order arrived after about 40 minutes. Lots of char, but not too much sauce — although the BBQ sauce on the side had a nice little kick. I went with mac ‘n cheese and sweet potato fries on the side, and they definitely give you a full container of taters!

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These waffle fries were nice ‘n crispy, with a side of chipotle donkey sauce, son. You could put that on a flip-flop, and I’d still eat all of it!!!!

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This mac was Mac Daddy, with a sharp-dressed-man white cheddar and some garlic-herb bread crumbs. They don’t really give you a lot, compared to the rest of the food, but that just means more room for ribs, bro!!!

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Now that’s what I call a new year’s countdown in Flavourtown!!!!!

 

 

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Filipino fried chicken from Jollibee

When Jollibee first opened in Scarborough and Mississauaga, I heard people waited in line for, like, three hours, bro. But since the downtown Toronto location opened just a couple weeks ago, right in the middle of Second Lockdown, I could just walk right in and order right away…

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While they do have some other stuff on the menu, this place is known for fried chicken, so we gotta start there. I got a three-piece meal with fries, and one of the pieces was spicy, just to try it. Nice, crunchy breading while the chicken was hot ‘n juicy. The spicy piece had a bit of a kick, with all the seasoning salt on the skin, so I had to take a few sips of their signature pineapple juice…

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Hey, it’s probably healthier than soda pop, right?

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Now, they didn’t have the Amazing Aloha Yumburger, topped with pineapple and bacon, at this location, so I had to settle for a regular Yumburger with Cheese. And it was pretty basic — beef, cheese, and a whole lotta mayo. The patty tasted like a Salisbury steak, so I’m guessing that if you order the burger steak with gravy, it’s probably the same thing. I shouldda known not to order a burger at a fried chicken joint, anyways…

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Of course, you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert, bro, and that means it’s peach mango pie time. This soft, breaded treat was still warm after I scarfed down everything else, and the super-sweet filling was super tasty! Man, I’d eat this over McDonald’s any day!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Turducken dinner for one, son!!!

Now, Christmas dinner in Flavourtown is NOT just your typical turkey, bro! Last Christmas, I gave you some turkey dinner pizza, but this year, we’re kicking things up a notch. When I heard that Richmond Station, home of that famous burger, was dishing out a takeout turducken dinner, I was all over that like boom, tough-actin’ Tinactin, John Madden!!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a roast turducken — which is a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey — topped with garden sage gravy, a Cran-Marnier sauce, and sides of scalloped potatoes, carrots, cabbage and a chunka chunka brioche stuffing! Plus, there’s a curly kale and Brussels sprout salad, along with a yule log cake for dessert — shut the front, back AND side doors, bro!!!!!

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This bird is soooo the word, bro! Not really sure where the turkey ends and the duck and chicken begin, but it’s super-tender, unctuous and rambunctious! The gravy adds a nice kick, you’ve got some tartness from the cranberry, and the stuffing just melts in my mouth. I would eat this eight days a week!!!!

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Now, I gotta say that a kale and Brussels sprout salad would not be my first choice, or even my sixteenth or twentieth choice, bro. But when you add the raisins, shaved ham, cheddar cheese and sunchoke donkey sauce, then it’s pretty badass. If I could only get them to add ham and cheese next time I go to Planta…

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Now, you KNOW the name of this blog ain’t Burgers, Bacon & Egg Nog, so we’re chasing this turducken with Saint of Circumstance, a triple-hopped, unfiltered, citrus blonde from Collective Arts. At 4.7%, it’s the perfect light beer for this heavy feast — and hey, in 2020, we’re all just a Victim of Circumstance, Bro-an Jett!!!

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But you bet yer ass I’ve still got room for dessert — and that means cracking open another beer. I don’t always drink stout, but when I do, it’s usually after dinner. And this Brown Cow milk stout from Calabogie Brewing hits the spot with a nice little kick of chocolate and espresso…

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When I first bit into the yule log cake, I was like, dude, this is like an After Eight on steroids! Nice creamy, minty flavour with a chewy, chocolately shell. I think I did a decent job of laying down the plum compote, but they give you so many chocolate crumbs that it would take a pro pastry chef to make them all look pretty — or at least a bigger plate, anyways. But hey, you can never have too much chocolate, bro!!!

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And the best thing about this dinner was it came precooked, so it only took 25 minutes to prepare. Who needs to spend all day on a turkey when you can just pop a turducken in the oven, son? I was even finished eating by 7:30, which means I’ve still got time to watch Die Hard AND Die Hard 2 before the clock strikes midnight… Cuz you know it ain’t Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Plaza, Bro-ce Willis!!!!!!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Slammin’ down some Spicy P wings!!!

Now, the Raptors are playing outta Tampa this season, so I’m not gonna be slammin’ down some brewskis at a basketball game anytime soon. But I can still crush some classic comfort food at home — we’re talking wings, chili cheese fries…and maybe even a brewski or seven. I found this funky little joint called Cabano’s Comfort Food, just a long-distance 3-pointer from Bay and Bloor, that’s serving up burgers, fried chicken, and these Flavourtown All-Stars — Spicy P chicken wings!

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Dude, these wings are TheBomb.ca, bro! Pretty good kick, but not too spicy, drizzled with a dill ranch — you could put that on a high-top, and it would still taste good! But even though I ordered not one, but two pounds of wings, you KNOW I still got room for some chili cheese fries, bro!!!!

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Dude, this chili had a pretty decent kick — I think it was even hotter than the wings… Fries were thin, but nice ‘n crispy, and then they smother it in queso, which is like one of the five food groups in Flavourtown!!!

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Of course, you can’t have wings without beer, so we’re crushing The Mutants Are Revolting, a nice, crushable IPA from Flying Monkeys. You definitely get a hit of hops, without it being too heavy… I could crush at least 10 of these, bro!!!

And of course, you KNOW there was no fry left behind, broseph!!!

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TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: This duck pizza is a Flavourtown double down!!!

Now, even with all these funky joints shutting down during the pandemic, there are still some new restaurants that have opened, like Za Cafe, this little pizza place that replaced The Gabardine on Bay Street a few months back. Now, if there’s one food that’s made for takeout and delivery, it’s pizza, and these guys have got 15 different kinds to choose from, including veal, jerk shrimp and spicy house sausage. But when I saw the duck pie, you KNOW I was gonna cross the road for that one, bro!!!

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Now, this pizza has got two kinds of duck — duck breast AND duck eggs! There’s actually no cheese on here, but the unctuous egg action keeps it nice and creamy. I also added some green hot chili peppers as a free add-on, which really kicked it up a notch, bro!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Who needs Migos when you’ve got migas???

Now, the last time I had huevos migas, this Tex Mex take on breakfast nachos, was in Austin — actually, it was at the airport, son! I never expected to find this dish in Toronto…so when I heard that Lady Marmalade, this funky breakfast/brunch joint on Broadview, had migas on the menu, you KNOW I was gonna twist it like it’s stir fry, bro!!!!!

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Basically, you’ve got every part of a balanced breakfast, right here. We’re talking scrambled eggs, sausage, cheese, rice, beans, pico, nachos…plus I paid 4 bucks extra for a buncha bacon, cuz the first rule of Flavourtown is Always Add Bacon! Now, when I had this dish in Texas, the tortilla chips were mixed right in, but in this order, they came served separately in a paper bag — which probably prevents them from getting soggy on the way over, I suppose.

Dude, this was one of the most filling breakfasts I had in a long time…and you KNOW I left no crumb behind, bro!!!!!!!!

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TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Bibimbap, you don’t stop!

Now, I’m a pretty big fan of Korean food, whether we’re talking fried chicken, rice hot dogs or toilet-themed desserts. But the last time I had bibimbap was actually at a Japanese joint…so you know I’m overdue for some real-deal Korean comfort food, bro! And Kimichi Korea House, this funky little joint on Dundas, is doing it up right, with 13 different bibimbaps to choose from!!!

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Now you know me, I had to go with bulgogi! This thinly sliced beef is nice ‘n tender, on a bed of rice and veggies, with some spicy gochujang sauce that I poured overtop. I also paid a buck fiddy to add a fried egg — dude, this is body by fried eggs!

Plus, you get a whole buncha little side dishes at no extra charge, like kimchi, sprouts, miso soup and cold potatoes. You KNOW I’m all about that meat and potatoes, bros!!!

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TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: You don’t need no blindfold for this Bird Box, bro!!!

Now, this is body by fried chicken, so when I found out about this new chicken joint called Bird Box on Dundas West, you KNOW I’m not gonna drive below 50 miles per hour to get there — Speed is still my favourite Sandra Bullock movie, bro!

Now, this place has everything: chicken sandwiches, chicken wraps, chicken fingers, chicken ‘n waffles — with no less than 30 different sauces to choose from! But as soon as I saw the Drunk and Chicks on the menu, you KNOW I was gonna take this Drunk Girl home, Chris Jan-son!!!

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Dude, this is like Hangover Breakfast Poutine Gone Wild in Flavourtown! You’ve got some nice, crispy fries, with real-deal cheese curds, and then they add chicken gravy, bacon, and not one, not two, but three chicken strips and a fried egg on top. So, it’s time to answer the age-old question, what goes down my piehole first, the chicken or the egg?

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While every part of this poutine was pretty tasty, there’s no question that the chicken is the star of the show. These house made strips put the tender in chicken tender, with nice ‘n juicy white meat. Man, next time I order this, I need to get a side of chicken strips, they were that good!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Crab cake on a bun, son!

Now, I’m no stranger to crab cakes, but I don’t usually think of them as takeout food. So when I found out that Fresco’s, this funky fish ‘n chips shack in Kensington Market, was serving up a real-deal crab cake po boy, you KNOW I had to check it out, bro!!!

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What we’ve got here is not one, but two crabby patties, stacked up and coming in hot, with some cheddar cheese and coleslaw on a bakery bun. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, son! Now, this dish is supposed to come with fries, but for a few dollars more, I funked it up a notch with some deep-fried pickles:

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These bad boys were pretty much on par with the Pickle Fuckers I ordered from Mooby’s a couple weeks back. Hot, crispy and juicy, with a side of chipotle for a little extra kick. I could slam at least 20 of these, bro!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Short rib grilled cheese? Yes please!

If grilled cheese isn’t the ultimate comfort food, then it’s definitely right up there. So when I found out that Bar Reyna, this funky Spanish joint, was serving up a short rib grilled cheese — but only at their King St location — you KNOW I had to check it out, bro!

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OK, now let’s break it down. You ain’t got no Kraft singles here — we’re talkin’ Gruyere, with braised beef, caramelized onions and a grainy mustard on crispy, toasted bread, with your choice of fries or salad. Let’s just say I didn’t choose salad… But the fries were thin, and already pretty soggy on arrival. So maybe salad would travel better, bro?

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