TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Turducken dinner for one, son!!!

Now, Christmas dinner in Flavourtown is NOT just your typical turkey, bro! Last Christmas, I gave you some turkey dinner pizza, but this year, we’re kicking things up a notch. When I heard that Richmond Station, home of that famous burger, was dishing out a takeout turducken dinner, I was all over that like boom, tough-actin’ Tinactin, John Madden!!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a roast turducken — which is a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey — topped with garden sage gravy, a Cran-Marnier sauce, and sides of scalloped potatoes, carrots, cabbage and a chunka chunka brioche stuffing! Plus, there’s a curly kale and Brussels sprout salad, along with a yule log cake for dessert — shut the front, back AND side doors, bro!!!!!

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This bird is soooo the word, bro! Not really sure where the turkey ends and the duck and chicken begin, but it’s super-tender, unctuous and rambunctious! The gravy adds a nice kick, you’ve got some tartness from the cranberry, and the stuffing just melts in my mouth. I would eat this eight days a week!!!!

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Now, I gotta say that a kale and Brussels sprout salad would not be my first choice, or even my sixteenth or twentieth choice, bro. But when you add the raisins, shaved ham, cheddar cheese and sunchoke donkey sauce, then it’s pretty badass. If I could only get them to add ham and cheese next time I go to Planta

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Now, you KNOW the name of this blog ain’t Burgers, Bacon & Egg Nog, so we’re chasing this turducken with Saint of Circumstance, a triple-hopped, unfiltered, citrus blonde from Collective Arts. At 4.7%, it’s the perfect light beer for this heavy feast — and hey, in 2020, we’re all just a Victim of Circumstance, Bro-an Jett!!!

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But you bet yer ass I’ve still got room for dessert — and that means cracking open another beer. I don’t always drink stout, but when I do, it’s usually after dinner. And this Brown Cow milk stout from Calabogie Brewing hits the spot with a nice little kick of chocolate and espresso…

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When I first bit into the yule log cake, I was like, dude, this is like an After Eight on steroids! Nice creamy, minty flavour with a chewy, chocolately shell. I think I did a decent job of laying down the plum compote, but they give you so many chocolate crumbs that it would take a pro pastry chef to make them all look pretty — or at least a bigger plate, anyways. But hey, you can never have too much chocolate, bro!!!

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And the best thing about this dinner was it came precooked, so it only took 25 minutes to prepare. Who needs to spend all day on a turkey when you can just pop a turducken in the oven, son? I was even finished eating by 7:30, which means I’ve still got time to watch Die Hard AND Die Hard 2 before the clock strikes midnight… Cuz you know it ain’t Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Plaza, Bro-ce Willis!!!!!!!!!

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