Monthly Archives: March 2021

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia… Funky Tut’s Street Food, son!!!

Now, we have savoured flavours from all over the world on Triple B, but one that we’ve never had before is Egyptian. So when I heard about Tut’s Egyptian Street Food, this funky little joint at King and Portland, you KNOW I had to check it out, bro!!!!

This place is serving up seven different sammies, about half the size of a hot dog, and since I’ve never eaten Egyptian before, I pretty much wanted one of everything that isn’t vegan. Good thing they have a thing called the Tut’s Plus Combo, which gives you four sammies and a side for $19.99. Now that’s what I call winner, winner, Egyptian dinner — or make that Egyptian lunch!!!

We’re starting off with the Egyptian Falafel, two great balls of fibre topped with tahini and coriander. This dish not only smells amazing, but it tastes delicious too…and technically, I guess it actually is vegan. My bad, bro!

Now, while these might all look like little hot dogs, this here sammich is the closest thing to an actual hot dog. We’re talkin’ grilled beef sausage, topped with caramelized onions and a mustard mint sauce. Take me out to the ball game, bro!!!!!

Now batting third, we’ve got grilled kofta, a Middle Eastern meat stick topped with tahini and parsley. But what really kicks it up a notch is a pair of pickles, giving things a nice little extra tang.

But now we’re gonna kick it up another two or three notches with something I’ve never had in a sandwich before — pan-fried beef liver, bro! Now, this meat tasted kinda like the shredded beef you’d put in a taco, and the lime wedge added a nice little bit of acid. Plus, there’s some more tahini on top — dude, they put that shit on everything!!!

With this combo, you also get a choice of sides — tomatoes, pickles or fries. Can you guess which one I went with? These french-fried potaters are seasoned with Dukka, an Egyptian blend of herbs and spices. At first, I was like, this little fistful of fries isn’t gonna be enough for four sandwiches, but it turns out I got about two fries for every bite… Now that’s some culinary rocket science in Flavourtown!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Dirty Deeds… Done. With. Beef.

Now, whenever I get 30% or 40% off with Uber Eats, I’m looking for something that looks good…but I don’t really wanna pay as much as they’re charging for it (especially since Uber pays the difference). Case in point: The Dirty Double, a $32 bacon double cheeseburger from Stout Irish Pub. Now, they’re packing a pair of 8 oz patties on this thing, so you definitely get your money’s worth — but if I can take 14 dollars off, that works out even better!

Sometimes a burger doesn’t have to be fancy, as long as it’s tasty. You won’t see any pulled pork, potato chips or mac ‘n cheese on top of this big boy — but with two thick ‘n juicy patties, a nice chew from the bacon, bit of crunch from the pickles and onions, and some oozy, schmoozy cheese, that’s all you really need!!!

And if you want another great deal, get the Chipotle Bacon Cheese Fries. This $18 item can be added as a side for just 3 bucks when you buy a burger, bro! Now, poutine might be more popular — especially up here in Canada, eh? — but when you got a nice pub fry with a melted cheese blend, some green onions and a pretty decent amount of bacon bits, that right there is the winning ticket! Plus, unlike some other places (I’m looking at you, Tragically Maple Poutine), the amount of chipotle sauce on top adds just enough flavour without taking away from everything else.

Now, speaking of stout, this burger pairs nicely with Unify or Die, a hearty spiced stout from Blood Brothers Brewing. I first pounded one of these bad boys with a very nice steak dinner from Jacobs (RIP), but its message definitely still applies now that we’ve been dealing with this thing for over a year. Dude, if someone comes out with a Vaccinate and Party beer in 2021, I would slam the shit outta that, son!!!!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 2-for-1 beef brisket Big Macs, bro!!!!

So, technically restaurants are open — for outdoor dining only — in Toronto now, but the rule says you can only eat with people from the same household. Well, the Triple B Krew doesn’t live together — we ain’t no smelly hippies, bro! — so until they let us go back to 10-person pods, like they did last year, I’m just gonna keep ordering enough takeout food for two people…and then eating it all by myself. 😉

Good thing that Uber Eats is doing 2-for-1 deals right now with a buncha local restaurants, like Wichcraft, this funky sandwich joint on Bloor West. (Not to be confused by a place with the same name in NYC, apparently.) This place has got all kinds of 2-for-1 specials going on, like shrimp po boys, fried chicken sandwiches and even veggie burgers. But when I saw the Smoked Brisket Big Mac, I knew this mac attack was heading straight down my piehole, bro!!!

Now, they say that it’s smoked brisket, but the texture and flavour is more pot roast than Texas BBQ. Still makes for a pretty tasty sammy, though, with lettuce, cheese, onions, pickles and a special sauce that came on the side (even with two sammies, I only used like half the container). But what really makes it are the pickles — these ain’t no skinny, wimpy, fast-food pickles, — we’re talkin’ thick, crunchy, hockey pucks of flavour, which really give this sandwich a big boost!

Now, what goes better with a brisket Big Mac than some mac ‘n cheese? They even make it with rigatoni for that extra-thick noodle action, son! But here’s where I dun goofed. Instead of ordering the mac as a separate item, I added it as a side with my brisket sandwich. And since they give you two sammies when you order one, I ended up with two sides of mac ‘n cheese…which weren’t 2-for-1, so I had to pay for both. But that’s not to say I didn’t eat both sandwiches AND both mac ‘n cheeses — you KNOW this is just a light lunch in Flavourtown, bro!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: BBQ sandwich, ribs and an Irish Texan…

Now, we already know that Beach Hill Smokehouse has some of the best Texas BBQ in Toronto, so when I found out they opened up a new location on The Danforth that might actually be close enough to deliver, you KNOW I was gonna hit ’em up! I didn’t see any beef ribs on the menu, so instead I went with one of their classic BBQ sammies, along with a couple pork spare ribs and, because I’m still feeling the St. Patty’s spirit, this funkalicious side dish called an Irish Texan. More on that in a minute…

They call this sandwich The Big D, and it’s a hot one! You’ve got BBQ brisket, turkey and sausage piled onto a bun, along with some slaw, and then they stick a smoked poblano pepper on top! Mind you, the meat really outweighs the heat — it doesn’t really seem spicy at all. But when you’ve got that brisket, some turkey and sausage all in the same bite, that’s Flavourtown Nirvana, Kurt Bro-bain!!!!

The first time I went to the original Beach Hill Smokehouse, they were all outta ribs by the time I got to the front of the line. So I knew I had to get me some ribs this time! It turns out that a half-pound of ribs only gets you one great big bone and one teeny tiny one, but this is definitely a case of quality over quantity. The rib was super meaty, tender and chewy, with a perfect balance of smoke and pepper — it really doesn’t need any sauce, son! Next time, I could probably eat more than one, though. Will hafta order at least two pounds!!!

And that brings us to this Flavourtown famine-buster, the Irish Texan. You’ve got a big ol’ baked potato all covered with cheese, brisket and sausage — they let you choose any two meats, but this seemed like the best way to go. Wrapping it in tinfoil and butcher paper kept it warm enough that you still got that meaty, potatoey goodness in every bite — it’s magically delicious!!!!

And I washed it all down with a tallboy of Harp Lager…cuz I (mostly) ended up drinking AGD Red on St. Patty’s Day instead!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: This Shillelagh Burger is like St. Patty’s Day on a bun!!!

Last year, Toronto went into the first COVID lockdown just a couple days before St. Patrick’s Day, where I remember drinking beers (not even Guinness!) and eating some takeout corned beef and cabbage at home, then maybe watching Contagion with Matt Damon on TV. I didn’t even blog about this, but I think it’s on my Instagram page, if you go back far enough. Now, one year later, we’re celebrating another St. Patty’s in lockdown, which totally guzzles leprechaun farts, bro!!!!!!!!

If there’s any pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, though, it’s that a few local Irish pubs have stepped up their St. Patrick’s Day takeout and delivery game for 2021. Like the Brazen Head, this funky little joint in Liberty Village, that’s offering up a sammich special that’s about to go all Riverdance on my taste buds… This is the Shillelagh Burger!!!

What we’ve got here is a 6-ounce patty, topped with corned beef AND cabbage, along with lettuce, tomato and onions, oozing with Thousand Islands dressing, all on a pretzel bun, son! Now, I gotta say, Liberty Village is about 4 km away, and my delivery arrived even later than the latest predicted time (Uber didn’t even give me no refund, son!), which means the bun was soggy, the fries were cold and the sauce was all over the bottom of the box. But even in these less-than-ideal conditions, this was still a pretty tasty burger, nice ‘n thick, with just a bit of pink in the middle. I’m sure it would have been a lot better in-person (Kiss me blarney stone, Doug!), but hey, at least I got to have a proper pint of Guinness…

…even if I had to pour it myself! Speaking of which, the Brazen Head also delivers a four-pack of Guinness, Harp Lager, or two of each for $14 — which means I’ll probably be drinking at least four beers tonight. 😉

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: One Margherita, two Margheritas, $3 Margherita pies!

Now, I don’t always listen to Luke Bryan, but when he’s singing about pizza, I turn the radio up, bro! Yesterday was Pi Day, so Pi Co., this funky local pizza chain, was celebrating by serving up margheritas for just $3.14, limit of two per order. Now, I guess these guys were pretty popular, cuz I ordered mine a few minutes after they opened at 11:30, and they said my pies would not arrive until 12:23, which was no biggie…only they didn’t get here by 12:30, 1:30 or even 1:45. It wasn’t until 2 o’clock that I got a message that my delivery driver was on his way — that’s right, it took two and a half hours to get me some pizza, son!!!!!!!!!

At least the pizza was hot ‘n fresh when it got here — it definitely hadn’t been sitting out for two hours. I’m guessing what happened was they were making margheritas all day, and then it was first-come, first-served to whoever showed up…including the delivery drivers on their app. (I know that DoorDash changed the driver on me several times before I gave up and stopped checking, so the same guy wasn’t waiting for two hours, either.) And hey, even if I wasn’t super-hungry, I’d still say this was pretty good pizza — nice, thin, chewy crust, with a rich tomato sauce and a few good bites of cheese scattered throughout. Pretty sure I polished off both pies in less than 15 minutes, though!!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Nashville hot shrimp sandwich with PEI lobster poutine

I don’t normally eat spicy food… but I’ve been to Nashville a couple times, and I’ve had the second-best hot chicken in town, along with a couple other places. So here we are, in Second Lockdown, and I’m missing the Music City. Now, some of the best hot chicken in Toronto is too far away to deliver, so when I saw that Coast, this funky seafood popup kitchen, was serving up a Nashville hot shrimp sandwich, I figured that might still hit the spot. And this place is actually so close to me that my food arrived in less than 30 min — beat that, Domino’s!!!

Now, they don’t let you choose your heat level, so you know we’re not in Nashville here, but I gotta say, this sammy is still sneaky spicy. Like, at first it didn’t seem too hot, but the heat sorta builds up and then sticks around. It’s maybe only a 1 or a 2 on the Nashville scale…but that’s all I can really handle, anyways!

I was a bit bummed out by the tragic poutine I had the other day, so I also decided to order some lobster fries. This PEI lobster poutine was a little light on the gravy and heavy on the herbs — the chives really give this dish a big boost. And while the fries were on the thin side, the combo of fries, real-deal cheese curds and big ol’ chunks of lobster all go together quite nicely.

This Baldwin Street Fisheye IPA from Kensington Brewing Co. also pairs quite well with some spicy seafood. It’s hoppy, but not too bitter, strong (6.5%), but not too overpowering…and it’s even got some fishies on the label, bro!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon Burger, bro!!!

Now, The Works Craft Burgers & Beer has been bringing the beef since 2001 — it’s also where I slayed a (double) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Burger in 2016, so I know they know what’s up! They’re still dealing out some wild and crazy burgs with names like Obi-Wan Kobe’s Man Cave, Gettin’ Piggy With It and Elk on a Beech, but when I saw the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon burger, you KNOW I’m gonna kick off my Sunday shoes, bro!!!!!!!

This massively meaty monstrosity is packing back bacon, smoked bacon, maple bacon, and even bacon sticks — which are kinda like Hickory Sticks‘ porkier cousins — on top a slab of well-cooked beef. It comes with lettuce and tomato, but you can also add extra toppings from a list that’s like as long as the menu at The Cheesecake Factory! So I went with pickles (which were free), an onion ring and some Kraft Dinner (each a dollar extra). Also, in a nod to the last time I ate at The Cheesecake Factory, I paid two dollars more for a cheese-stuffed patty…although I don’t see any cheese inside, bro???

Dude, this burger’s so outta bounds, it’s gotta quarantine for two weeks when it gets back! I mean, if you like the taste of meat on top of meat, on top of meat, then this is the sandwich for you. Just a little crunch from the lettuce and pickles, but the onion ring kinda gets lost here. And about half the bacon sticks and the KD ended up in the container… Good thing I brought a fork, bro!

Now, this place also lets you pick from 12 different sides, so I went with the Tragically Maple Poutine, which is topped with maple bacon, more of those bacon sticks, and then completely drenched in bacon garlic donkey sauce. So much sauce that you can’t even taste the curds ‘n gravy, which makes this dish about as tragic as its name suggests.

Man, even though The Works Craft Burgers & Beer has got beer right in its name, they don’t actually deliver the booze — you can get it for pickup through their website, though. So instead, I reached into the fridge for this renegade of funkalicousness, Autopop (you don’t stop!), a session sour with cherry cola from Blood Brothers. And I gotta say, when you lift the glass to your mouth, you can really smell the Cherry Coke. But in the taste department, it’s much more sour beer than soda pop…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Build your own blueberry pancakes

Now, one thing I’ve noticed since Second Lockdown is that a lot of restaurants aren’t even open for lunch anymore — never mind breakfast. (So much for Ontario being open for business, bro!) But one place that still opens at 10 a.m. every day, and 9 on the weekends, is Old School, this funky brunch joint on Dundas West. I’ve been here a couple times before, but I’ve never had their most famous dish, the Blueberry Hill Pancakes. That changes now, bro!!!

In this case, there is some assembly required. They give you a four-stack of pancakes, along with containers of syrup, brown-sugar butter and blueberry compote, and then you slather ’em on yourself. I guess things might get a little soggy otherwise, so this makes sense… although my personal pancake stack isn’t as Instagrammable as the ones they serve once indoor dining finally resumes (one of these months). There’s plenty of butter and syrup to go around, but only enough blueberries for two outta four flapjacks. I guess you could just pile everything on top, but it’s kinda hard to cut through four pancakes inside this takeout container…

Now, this dish does include bacon, but they hide it on top of the second pancake, so at first I didn’t see it, and I was like don’t go bacon my heart, Bro-ton John! But then it’s like whoomp, there it is, Bro-g Team! Still, this bacon could be a little more crispy — it’s more raw than cooked, Fine Young Canni-bros!!!!

But hey, at the end of the day, these pancakes is blueberries…and blueberries is good!!!!!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Greek land, sea & air platter from Soulas

Now, when it comes to Greek food, sometimes you just want a gyro and a whole pile of fries — and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. But for something a little more upscale, one of my go-to spots on the Danforth is Soulas Modern Greek Cuisine. I’ve still got one more 40% off code from Uber Eats, and I wanted to make the most of it, so I ordered up their Mermaid Platter. We’re talking calamari, jumbo shrimp, mussels, lamb chops and chicken, served on a whole pile of rice, potatoes and veggies, for 69 bucks. It’s enough food to feed a family of four…or one Hungry, Hungry Hippo in Flavourtown!

Shrimp are nice ‘n juicy, slide right outta the shell. Can’t complain at all, but they’re only like the third best piece of seafood on this platter…

Mussels were nice ‘n tender, steamed to perfection. They give you at least a dozen, which is a decent-sized dish on its own, but only part of a much bigger platter…

Well, you know I like my calamari fried, but these grilled calamaris were still pretty good. Probably the chewiest thing on this platter, but they still come apart pretty easy with a knife and fork. Add a little squeeze of lemon, maybe a dab of tzatziki, and you’re cooking with olive oil, bro!!!

This grilled chicken might not come on a skewer, but it’s still got the same flavour profile as a good souvlaki. Goes great with some of those roasted potatoes — and dude, there were a lotta roasted potatoes on here!!!

But the star of the show has gotta be the lamb chops, two to an order, grilled to perfection. I could probably slam at least seven of these — y’know, if I didn’t have all that other stuff to eat…

Now, there really wasn’t too much meat and seafood, but the rest of this container was completely full of rice ‘n potatoes and vegetables… dude, that’s gotta be the most veggies I’ve ever eaten at once! I will admit that I barely put a dent in the pile of pita bread — you don’t fill up on bread, bro! But hey, I can always have it as a snack for later!!!

Washed it all down with a Trans Human State pilsner from my bros at Blood Brothers Brewing. It’s got the crispness of a good Greek beer, but maybe just a little more fruity…not that there’s anything wrong with that!

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