Monthly Archives: April 2021

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Call your mama, that’s a lotta shawarma!!!

Now, I first heard the legend of Me Va Me’s footlong shawarma many years ago…but when they finally opened a downtown location, it wasn’t even on the menu. So when I found out that Shawarmama, this funky little joint on Queen West, was serving up footlong beef and chicken shawarmas, I was all over that like tahini on tabbouleh, bro!!!!

I didn’t break out the measuring tape or nothing, but this had to be the longest shawarma I’ve ever seen. This pita snake is stuffed with seasoned beef, some crunchy onions, a little acid from the tomatoes and a tangy tahini, and toasted to perfection, son! I also made mine a meal, with fries and a drink, for $4.50 more…

Fries were super extra-crispy, which meant they didn’t get soggy in delivery. Plus, I paid an extra 99 cents for some house-made garlic sauce, which is such a smooth move in Flavourtown, bro!!!

Now, they’ve actually got a deal on with Uber (which ends today though), where if you spend at least 20 dollars, you can get a free tub of hummus with an extra large pita for dipping. Dude, I’m not saying this is body by hummus…but if it was, it might be less than 300 pounds, bro. Hummus is smoother than the grocery-store kind, but still nice and tangy. And even after pounding all that pita, I still had like half a container of hummus left, so I might actually have a healthy snack for once!!!!

 

 

 

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Bulgogi Beef Benedict for brunch, bro!!!

Now, I don’t always get up in time for brunch — especially during Lockdown Number 3 — but since the late game on Hockey Night in Canada was between Vancouver and Ottawa last night, I actually went to bed early. And since I had more than a couple beers during the first game on Hockey Night, let’s just say I was a little hungover this morning.

So we’re looking for some classic comfort food, with a bit of a Toronto twist… which brings us to Sisters & Co, this funky little joint on Dundas West that’s only open from 9 till 3, serving up some funky brunch dishes like a Chicken Katsu Club Sandwich, Thanksgiving Chicken and Waffle and Cinnamon Bun Pancakes. But when I saw the Bulgogi Beef Benedict, I was all over that like Calgary over Montreal, bro! You KNOW I love the taste of beef in the morning!!!

Now there’s a forkful of flavour in Flavourtown, right here! The English muffin was a little too toasty, but the nice chew of the beef and oozy egg more than make up for it. They serve the hollandaise on the side, so it doesn’t get too soggy on the way over, and there’s more than enough sauce to go around, son!

Speaking of forkfuls of flavour, I couldn’t stop shoveling these home fries into my mouth, homes! They’re nice ‘n small, with just a little bit of a kick from the seasoning, and there’s almost two forkfuls for every bite of benedict. (This dish also came with a side salad…but hey, if I could substitute the salad for bacon next time, that would be great.) All in all, I’d say this was just the right amount of food for a hazy Sunday morning without making your stomach feel too heavy. Sisters & Co 1, Hangover 0.

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: 50% off Bacon Cheddar Burger!

Now, we’re all about value here on Triple B, so when I found out that Earls was dishing out half-price burgers on Skip the Dishes, I was all over that like Jason Lee’s mustache! Now, for nine bucks, you could get a Bigger Better Burger with fries, but for just a dollar more, you can upgrade to their Bacon Cheddar Burger. That’s about the easiest dollar I’ve ever spent, son!!!

Now, there’s definitely no shortage of bacon strips on this bad boy, and they cook ’em till they’re nice ‘n crunchy, just the way I like it. Combined with other classic toppings — lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, mustard and mayo — on a lightly toasted bun, and that’s some pretty good eatin’ for 10 bucks, bro!!!

Fries were about the same size as McDonald’s, but not as crispy or as salty. Came with a double pack of ketchup — dude, Double Pack of Ketchup was my nickname in Lunch Lady Land — but I still needed a couple more packs of ketchup to finish ’em off. Let’s just say that after 13 months of takeout, I’ve got a whole fridge fulla ketchup, bro!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: One chicken, one pork, and one beef…

Now, for me, sandwiches are like potato chips — you betcha I can’t eat just one, Mark Messi-bro! So when I found out about Makan, this funky little Asian joint at Queen and University, that’s serving up nine different kinds of baos, you KNOW I had to try at least three of them!

We’re starting off with the big, bad, Big Bird Bao, bro! We’re talkin’ fried chicken, cucumber and some hot donkey sauce in between a perfectly plump and pillowy steamed bun. Dude, this is some of the crunchiest fried chicken I’ve ever had! If they ever make a full-sized sandwich, they could really give Popeyes a run for its money!!!

Up next, we’ve got my homie, Notorious P.I.G. (that is actually what it’s called!) Dude, I’m about to go all Suge Knight on this sando, bro! Pork belly is unctuous and scrumptious, with crumbled peanuts and a special sauce — meat just melts in your mouth!!!

Now, we’re about to funk it up another notch with this beef rendang bao. This Indonesian-style curry has shredded beef, with a lovely bunch of coconuts, peanuts and cucumbers. Dude, this bun is like a Slider Gone Wilder — it’s headed straight down to Downtown Flavourtown!!!

Now, while this order seemed to take a little longer (it was a good 45-50 min, and I’m not too far away), the food arrived hot and fresh, so they definitely took their sweet, tender lovin’ time. And it was really tasty, too! Only thing is, just three of these sammies makes for a pretty light lunch in Flavourtown. I could slam at least six of these bad boys — and still have room for dessert!!!!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Totally PHOsome Vietnamese triple beef combo!!!

Dude, you KNOW this is body by beef, bro! So when I found out that PHOsome, this funky little Vietnamese joint on Parliament Street, was serving up a $15 combo with three different kinds of beef, I was all over that like rice on noodles!!!

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We’re starting off with a fistful of grilled beef rolls, served with lettuce, mint, carrots, bean sprouts and vermicelli noodles, with some house fish sauce on the side. Dude, this is like Spring Rolls Gone Wild, bro! Probably the most veggies I’ve ate all week, but when you wrap ’em up with beef…man, I could eat, like, three orders of these!!!

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Up next, we’ve got a couple of steak skewers. Meat was super tender, with a light teriyaki sauce, along with some shaved carrots and onions, which I ended up dumping in my pho, for extra flavour…

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Now, this soup had some assembly required. The broth came steaming hot in a plastic container, while the rest of the ingredients were in a separate takeout box. Oh, and it was BYOB — bring yer own bowl, bro! You had to get down, get down and stir it all around to give the rice noodles a chance to separate, while the beef brisket was pre-cooked, and didn’t need to be heated up. You’ve also got a nice crunch from the onions, withe the basil and coriander kicking it up a notch. I also dumped my leftover fish sauce from the beef rolls into the broth, which made it super-tangy towards the end…

Dude, this soup alone will normally set you back 11 bucks, so getting it with two starters for 15 is like a five-finger discount in Flavourtown! Of course, it was closer to 25 bucks when you add the taxes, fees and delivery tip…but even at that price, it’s a pretty PHOsome deal, bro!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Super spicy chicken biryani!!!

Now, it’s been over a year, and I gotta say, all these takeout and delivery dishes are starting to add up. I mean, once you add all the service fees, delivery fees, taxes and tips, you end up spending like 40 bucks just for a medium pizza, bro! So when I come across a place with some great, everyday deals, you KNOW I gotta get in on it. King Palace Restaurant has been dishing out Indian food across from the Toronto Reference Library for decades, and even in the era of Uber Eats, you can still get meat with rice and a drink for just 12 bucks, bro!!!!

This chicken biryani was exactly 12 bucks, coming in hot and tasty — delivery took just 30 minutes. Now, whenever I order Indian food, I always ask for mild. Dude, I dig the flavour, but can’t really handle the heat. (Let’s just say I’m a Whiter Shade of Pale, Bro-col Harum!!!) But this place doesn’t give you the chance to choose your spice level, which means that the food is…probably not mild. The first few bites didn’t seem too bad, and that mint yogurt sauce probably helped, but after a while, I was really feelin’ the Bern. I’m gonna be in a whole House of Pain tomorrow, bro — Peptocopter to the rescue!!!

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: This really nice burger needs some really big rings!!!

Now that Toronto is into State of Emergency No. 3 like a bad Lou Bega number, let’s just say I’m not getting a lot of exercise these days. So when I saw that The Irv, this funky little joint in Cabbagetown, was serving up a Dad Bod Burger, I was all over that like a fat dad on a Smartie, son!!!

These are a few of my favourite things, right here. You’ve got blue cheese, bacon strips, caramelized onions and a whisky-glazed BBQ sauce, all on top of a thick, juicy patty. This burger is sooo outta bounds, it almost held a gathering of more than 10 people, bro!!!

The only thing that brings it down a bit is the thin, weak bun that was completely soggy by the time I opened the box. So instead of a 10/10, it’s maybe like a 9…

Now, when I saw you could upgrade from fries to house-cut onion rings for just two dollars more, I was all over that like a fat dad in a Speedo, bro! And man, these were like, seriously, some of the best onion rings in Toronto. They give you about a full onion’s worth, with a thick, doughy batter that really kicks things up a notch! I mean, like there are 3-4 bites of onion ring for every bite of burger in this takeout box…not that I’m complaining!!!

Man, the last time I had rings this good was in Buffalo…but who knows when I’ll even be allowed to go to Buffalo again, bro??? 😦 😦 😦

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Super-crunchy mac ‘n cheesy!!!

Now, at times like these, I needs me some comfort food — and there’s nothing more comforting than mac ‘n cheese, son! So when I found what I’m guessing is a ghost kitchen called Talk’s Mac serving up five different kinds of mac up on the corner of Bloor and Church, I was all over that like Scottie Pippen at the free-throw line — you KNOW the Mailman don’t deliver on Sundays, bro!!!

This here’s the Crispy Fried Mac, topped with dried onions and jalapenos. As you can see, the toppings come in separate containers, and then you dump ’em on top, for a nice, crunchy bite like this:

Now, they use a thicker kinda noodle, which adds more texture to the bite. Nice and creamy, with a bit of a kick from the dried hot peppers. I also added a bit of hot sauce to kick it up a notch. If there’s one downside to this dish, it’s that it only comes in one size — there wasn’t even an option to order a large — which means I definitely had room for this cheese biscuit:

Dude, this biscuit slays Red Lobster’s, Bro-once! It’s softer, fluffier and doesn’t fill you up, buttercup! Next time, I’m gonna order a whole basket of these…and maybe ask for an extra-large upgrade on the mac ‘n cheese?

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Final Four fusion food feast!

Now, the last time Gonzaga was in the Final Four, I flew to Phoenix, Arizona for all the festivities. But this year, I can’t even cross the border without isolating for 14 days…and who wants to spend 14 days in Indiana!? So while I had to watch Jalen Suggs hit one of the greatest shots in NCAA Tournament history at home, at least I didn’t go hungry, bro!

Kinka Izakaya, this funky Japanese joint on Church St, is serving up a March Madness special that was meant for two…but it’s really just a light snack in Flavourtown. You’ve got two pounds of wings with fries, salmon oshizushi, takoyaki and gyoza dumplings, along with a six-pack of Sapporo to help the medicine go down. And since I had another 40% offer from Uber Eats, I took almost 30 bucks off — which means Gonzaga wasn’t the only winner, winner, chicken dinner last night!!!!!

Of course, we gotta start with the wings. These babies were nice ‘n crispy, with a Taiwanese-style crunchy batter. They came in two flavours, Original or Spicy, and since I figured a Japanese joint probably wouldn’t be dishing out face-melting heat, I went with the Spicy…and I was right. A decent little kick, but nothing two outrageous. I could easily slam two takeout boxes of these without being bound by wild desire the next day…

Now, these deep-fried gyoza dumplings were a nice little side dish. They’re basically two-biters, and you get four to an order, so they’re not gonna fill you up, buttercup. Pretty sure they were vegan, though — I’m like, where’s the beef, bro???

This was not my first time tackling takoyaki, the Japanese fried dough balls with a piece of octopus inside. These ones were very saucy, which left ’em a little soggy — but you KNOW I still put all them balls in my mouth, bro!!!!

Now, while you might not find gyoza dumplings or octopus balls at your local sports bar, I can still dig them as game-day eats — pretty much anything that’s battered and deep-fried will do it for me! But now, this is something that I’d never think to order for the big game… salmon oshizushi, or pressed sushi, with layers of fish squished together on top of some rice. Now, there was nothing wrong with this dish at all, it’s just that next time I’m watching sports, I don’t see myself chowing down on sushi. But hey, if you put it in a combo meal, I mean, it’s not like I won’t eat all of it…

TORONTO’S TOP TAKEOUT: Sucking on chili dogs outside of Fancy Franks…

Today is Opening Day for the Blue Jays…although they were in New York today, and will play their “home games” in Florida until at least the end of May. Since it looks like we won’t be heading down to the ballpark anytime soon, we’re bringing the ballpark home with some real-deal Coney Island chili dogs from Francy Franks.

Suck on THIS chili dog, John Bro-gar Bro-llencamp! We’ve got a 100% beef wiener topped with meaty chili, chopped onions and mustard in a warm ‘n toasty bun. And you KNOW I didn’t eat just one, bro!!!

But that’s not all, folks! We’re kicking things up another notch with some chili poutine! This dish is like Chili Cheese Fries Gone Wild — with real-deal cheese curds to top it off. There is even some gravy on here, but it mostly either absorbed into the meat or settled at the bottom. And hey, this dish actually held up OK in delivery!

Now, we won’t have the CN Tower in the background on Opening Day, so instead we’re drinking a beer with the CN Tower on it — Divercity Helles Lager from Lost Craft. And hey, the Jays actually came back in extra innings to beat the Yanks!!!! Can I get a Helles Yeah, bro????

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