Monthly Archives: August 2021

GRAND OPENING: Beertown is my kinda town, bro!!!

Now, I didn’t get out very much during Second Lockdown, but when I happened to be downtown, I saw they were building this new joint called Beertown, and I knew I had to go there right when it opened. OK, so we weren’t there on opening day, but we hit it up a couple weeks later…and lemme tell ya, their craft beer selection is off the hook, son!!!

We’re starting off with a Couch Full of Dads, a hazy IPA from Town Brewery in Whitby, where there are couches and couches full of dads. This was not too hoppy and not too heavy, at 6.3%, but you know that’s only Chapter One in Beertown, son!!!!

This Tropical Apocalypse farmhouse ale is pretty fruity — I mean, it tastes like eating fresh pineapples, and I’m surprised I even remember what pineapple tastes like, cuz I only eat it when it’s on a pizza…

Don’t look now, but we just funked it up another notch with this Bianca Mango Lassi Gose from those slippery Scandinavians at Omnipollo. Now, I don’t really remember what mango tastes like, but this wasn’t quite as fruity as I thought it would be.

And we’re keeping it sour with a Soleil Sorbet Kettle Sour from Storm Stayed Brewing Company in London, ON. You might have noticed by now that they have branded glasses AND branded coasters for every beer on tap — cuz that’s how they roll in Beertown, bro!!!!!

So we’re heading across the pond with a Duchesse de Bourgogne, this Flanders red ale from a Belgian brewery that I can’t even spell or say out loud. It’s almost got the richness or a Belgian dubbel or tripel, but at just 6.2%, it won’t leave you dubbel’ed over…

We should probably start slowing down at this point, so it’s time to switch to lemonade… Make that a ZAP! Pink Lemonade sour IPA from Nickel Brook, son! Look at THIS photograph, Chad Bro-ger!!!!!

We started off with an East Coast IPA, so now we’re ending this magical mystery tour of Beertown with a Lone Pine West Coast IPA from Sawdust City Brewing. Man, everything about this beer sounds so country, you’d be surprised to learn it’s brewed in the Muskokas!!!

Of course, you KNOW we’re not drinking seven beers without eating anything, bro! These are the Public House Nachos, topped with beef brisket, diced tomatoes, peppers, cheddar, mozzarella, pickled jalapeños and handfuls of cilantro. Man, I dunno that I’ve ever seen so much cilantro on top of nachos, bro…

Luckily, there’s only a little bit of cilantro with their guac + chips, along with some pico de gallo and a small container of salsa. I even double-dipped the chip, cuz these chips are all mine, George Bro-stanza!!!!

Now, it turns out that for $1.99 you can get two soft-baked pretzel sticks, which are warm, salty ‘n delicious, with a side of some spicy mustard. I think next time I would probably pay the $10.99 for a full-sized pretzel though, especially since it comes with cheese + beer dip, which covers at least three of the five food groups in Flavourtown!!!!!

GRAND REOPENING: Whole lotta lobster @ Fishman Lobster Clubhouse

Now, I don’t always go to Scarborough, so when I do, you KNOW it’s gotta be big, bro! We’re talking a nine-course Chinese seafood extravaganza, with 15 pounds of lobster, 4.5 pounds of crab, plus beef, fish, fried oysters, sweet & sour pork…and we might even have room for dessert. This is Fishman Lobster Clubhouse!!!

This funky Finch Ave. joint is the place to be on Fridays, with tanks stacked with fresh seafood and plates piled high with lobster. They even let you take a selfie with your crab before they cook it (crabfie?) — but I didn’t wanna get crab juice on my tank top, so instead we’re diving right in with the soup of the day:

Chicken corn chowder is a Chinese food classic…although it seems like they forgot the chicken with this one. But hey, it’s not like we don’t have about 27 pounds of meat coming right up!!!!

We’re starting with another Chinese staple, sweet & sour pork. Dude, this is body by sweet & sour pork! The first of many deep-fried dishes, these tangy little flavour nuggets got things started off right. Oh, and the little baby gherkins really kicked things up a notch!!!

Now, here’s a dish I never dun seen before — fried oysters in honey pepper sauce. Oysters aren’t my favourite sea creature, but man, if you batter and fry ’em, I’d even chow down prairie oysters, son!!!!

Now, here’s a dish where I don’t hafta think twice — diced beef tenderloin with garlic, backed with some fried rice! Man, I could eat this for breakfast, lunch and dinner, bro!!!!

But now we’re getting into some of the stars of the show…like this steamed double bass in soy sauce. Dude, this dish is like a Nikki Sixx bass solo in Flavourtown!!!

Not gonna lie, they pile this crab with ginger and green onion pretty high…but b-b-b-b-baby, you ain’t seen n-n-nothing yet!!!!

In case you’re wondering what 15 pounds of deep-fried lobster looks like…whoomp, there it is! This dish was very similar to the Typhoon Crispy Lobster Mountain I scaled from Dine & Dim — except it’s like 15 times taller! They cut the lobster up into little pieces, and you pretty much had to use your hands to tear it apart (at least they gave you plastic gloves, cuz there weren’t extra napkins). But if you got a nice piece of warm, tender claw meat, that’s the ticket, right there!

Now, we obviously didn’t have much room for dessert after such a massive smorgasbord-board of flavour…but a coupla little macarons oughtta do’er.

PATIO LIT EATS: Real-deal Italian food on Mount Pleasant Road

Now, Mount Pleasant might not be the first place that comes to mind when you’re thinking Italian food in Toronto. But just before Second Lockdown, we had a righteous last supper at Positano. And now we’ve found another old-school, red sauce, checkered tablecloth joint just down the street… This is Florentia!

So, we’re starting off with salsiccia cacciatore aka sausage and peppers. Dude, this is body by sausage and peppers! Nice, meaty chunks of sausage with a bit of a kick, some sweetness from the peppers, and a real-deal tomato and basil sauce… I’d put that on a flip-flop!!!

But now it’s time for the main event — real-deal veal scaloppini. And they’re giving you a choice of not one, not two, not three, not four, but five different sauces, son! I went with the gorgonzola, which was nice ‘n creamy, but not too cheesy. And I went with pasta over veggies. As you can see, they didn’t cook the pasta in the gorgonzola…

Now, when it comes to beer here, you’ve got three choices — Peroni, Moretti and, uh, Creemore. So I went with Birra Moretti. I gotta say, though, it tastes an awful lot like Peroni, bro…

GRAND REOPENING: Seafood crepes gone country @ Bumpkins

Now, I don’t always get up early enough for brunch, so when I do, it’s gotta be something funkalicious. We’re hanging out at Bumpkins, this funky little French joint that’s been dishing it out just north of Yonge and Wellesley since 1971, son! They’ve got classics like French onion soup and escargot, along with French toast, omelettes, and not one, not two, but three kinds of eggs benny… but when I saw the seafood crepes, I was all over that like Tintin on a rowboat, bro!!!

Now, this dish isn’t exactly how they described it on the menu, topped with bechamel and tomato sauce — instead, it came with melted cheese and salsa. But I really can’t complain…this is body by cheese and salsa! And while we got some nice, juicy shrimp in here, along with fish and maybe some crab meat, I didn’t see any scallops, either. But that didn’t stop me from slamming down this French/Mexican crepe-aritto au completo, bro!!!

Happy hour is here with The Tragically Hip’s new beer!

Now, Big Rock has gotta be one of my favourite craft breweries. Dude, this is body by Big Rock, bro! So when I heard they were putting out the official beer of the Tragically Hip, Lake Fever Lager, I was all over that like a 50 mission cap!!!

Now, I gotta say, this beer is pretty basic. I mean, it’s got a little more character than Molson Canadian… actually, it kinda reminds me of Labatt 50, which isn’t actually a lager, but has a similar mouthfeel. Let’s just say it’s not one of those beers that you buy one or two to pair with some fancy cheese plate — more like something you’d shotgun a 24 by a bonfire at the cottage (and there’s nothing wrong with that at all). Know what it does go good with, though? Buffalo wings, bro!!!

Turns out these Pinty’s frozen Buffalo wings were like 7 bucks off at Metro, which makes for the perfect at-home Happy Hour special in Flavourtown! They came with two packets of Buffalo sauce, which was more than plenty — as you can see, these bad boys were super-saucy! And the sauce was on point, too. It’s been hard for me to find a really great Buffalo wing in town since they turned my former favourite wing joint into a Wild Wing’s, but I feel like Pinty’s really nailed it. They even came with some blue cheese dressing on the side, son!

Baby, eat this chicken slow — it’s full of all them little bones, bro!!!!

PATIO LIT EATS: BBQ Wednesday @ Cabana

Last summer, we hit up Cabana Waterfront Patio for a real-deal BBQ pork chop, so when I heard they were doing a whole Wednesday night BBQ menu, I was all over that like patio lanterns, bro! They’re serving up baby back ribs, smoked sausage and two kinds of chicken: fried AND BBQ!!!! Or, to get the most bang for your buck, you can order a ribs & chicken combo, like I did right here…

Quarter chicken was moist ‘n juicy, a cut above Swiss Chalet, with a nice BBQ sauce on the side that kicks things up a notch. Can’t complain about that at all — but the ribs are what makes it, bro!

Man, these baby backs had such a nice, smokey flavour that you don’t need no sauce, bro! This combo only comes with a half rack, but I’m pretty sure I could finish a full one…

Now, I gotta give a shoutout to their side game. Instead of some sad french fries, they’re doing it up right with fresh coleslaw, only one(!) of those delicious garlic buns, and some corn on the cob with Mexican Radio spices. Only downside was they didn’t supply any skewers, so half the seasoning came off in my hand when I was holding onto the cob…

Now, as I mentioned last time, their beer selection sucks donkey dick — Budweiser, Bud Light, Michelob Ultra and Corona. So instead I went with this signature Ciroc Cabana Frose. Man, it almost feels like you’re not even drinking alcohol…until you’ve had at least three of these. 😉

GRAND REOPENING: 24 oz cote de boeuf for one @ Jules Bistro

Unless you’re new to Triple B, then you already know that this is body by steak, bro! So when I heard that Jules Bistro, this funky French joint on Queen West, was serving up a 24 oz. AAA grade ribeye platter for two, well, I figured that I could eat it all by myself. Hey, I did just polish off a 24 oz steak, like, a week ago, bro!!!

I gotta say, I liked this steak even more than the one I had last week. Meat was cooked to perfection, a nice medium-rare, with a solid peppery seasoning. They even left the bone to gnaw on — although there wasn’t much meat on it. And the fries were on point; they basically tasted like McDonald’s, with a side of mayochup for dipping. But when it comes to the salad, they made a bit of a mistake…

Now, on the menu it says you can substitute a Caesar salad for a few dollars more, and I figured that if I had to have salad with my steak, then it had better be Caesar. But as you saw in the first picture, the board came out with a plain green salad on it…and when I mentioned I had ordered the Caesar, they brought it out separately in its own bowl. Which means I now have to eat two whole salads. Not that it was gonna stop me…

AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!!

Now, you might think I wouldn’t have room for dessert after such a glorious feast…but you’d be wrong, son! I am kinda glad this creme brulee wasn’t more than a couple ounces, though…

PATIO LIT EATS: Clock Lobster @ Clockwork Terrace

Now, Toronto might not be known for lobster, but here on Triple B we’ve had some funky lobster dishes all over this city, from the Typhoon Crispy Lobster Mountain at Dine & Dim to the lobster linguine at Sofia to the entire lobster on a bun at Smoked & Cracked. And it turns out that Toronto Life is actually doing a PEI lobster roll contest right now. So when I heard that Clockwork Terrace, this fancy new patio at the Royal York Hotel, was serving up a lobster roll named after my second-favourite B-52’s song (you KNOW Love Shack is where it’s at, bro!!!!), we had to be there with matching towels — this is the Clock Lobster:

Now, this sandwich is NOT as big as a whale — you’re only looking at half of it, but it’s definitely still on the smaller side (especially compared to Smoked & Cracked). Flavours are on point though; nice lobster salad topped with chives on a little brioche roll. And the fresh-cut fries were TheBomb.ca. I could probably eat, like, eight of these, though…

So it goes without saying, but I still had room for dessert. This Whoopie Pie is like a jacked-up Jos Louis, with red velvet cake, marshmallow cream cheese and white chocolate shavings, plus some chocolate sauce on the bottom to kick it up a notch. Nothing wrong with that at all!!!

Now, if I’m eating East Coast food like a lobster roll, I’m probably gonna want an IPA with that, too. And they just so happen to have one named after the train across the street — Henderson’s Pearson Express IPA. It’s not hazy like a NEIPA… but on a hot, sunny afternoon, a couple of these will definitely do the trick.

PATIO LIT EATS: Duck… Duck… Booze!!!

Now, there’s a whole lotta funky joints in Yorkville, like Sassafraz, Bar Reyna and the Toronto outpost of STK. But when I heard about Middle8, this hidden, underground bar down a laneway — with a not-so-underground patio — serving up some killer craft beers and a variety of eats, you KNOW I had to check it out, bro! At this place, they don’t just do duck one way, they do it two ways, and stick it on a bun… Shut the quack door, son!!!

This Duck Club Roll takes shredded duck confit, throws in some foie gras, and sticks it on a kaiser, with a side of house-made potato chips. It is a rather satisfying sandwich. But I’m definitely gonna need a beer to wash this down…

Who needs to double down when you can tripel down, son? This Project Parallel 2021 from Saulter Street is a Belgian tripel aged in chardonnay wine barrels, and you definitely can taste the grapes! Also, at 7.5%, I think I’ve had Belgian dubbels that were stronger than this…but that’s maybe not such a bad thing when I’m still kinda hungry after that sandwich.

Instead of dessert though, I went for some tomato & manchego toast, which is sorta like Bruschetta Gone Wild in Flavourtown. Nice, crunchy bread with some tangy tomaters and a lil bit of cheese on top — there’s nothing wrong with that at all!

And to go with my appetizer for dessert, I ordered a Nula, a nice, dry-hopped sour pale ale from Burdock Brewery. This had the perfect balance of not too hoppy, not too sour, and tasted just right at the end of the night!

GRAND REOPENING: Baos ‘n beers @ Broadview Hotel

Here on Triple B, we’ve been to more than a few rooftop patios downtown, but there aren’t nearly as many in the East End — the only ones I know are Gusto 501 and the Broadview Hotel. Now, I’ve got some good memories of slamming some AYCE BBQ at the Broadview back in the good old days of 2019, so we figured it’s time to head back to their rooftop. Only this time, there’s no BBQ on the menu…but they are serving up not one, not two, not three but four different kinds of baos, bro!

I really wanted to try one of every bao on the menu…but man, this Nashville hot chicken bao was about as Nashville as Lil Nas X. I mean, at this point, I kinda know that anything called “Nashville hot chicken” in Toronto ain’t gonna have the face-melting, extreme heat of Hattie B’s — but I was expecting at least a lil bit of spice here. And there was none. Chicken wasn’t bad on its own, but man, I’ve had mild Thai food that was (a lot) spicier than this!!!

Now we’re going with something more traditional in this braised pork belly bao. While it didn’t blow my mind, up in the air, up in the air, it is pretty much what you’d expect from a Chinese steamed-bun sandwich.

While I was really looking forward to this beef brisket bao, it turned out to be more brisket pho than Texas BBQ. Still wasn’t bad though — the cashews were an interesting touch.

But now we’re gonna funk it up a notch with a crispy tofu bao, bro! I could say that this was one of the top five crispy tofu dishes I’ve ever had…but I don’t think I’ve even had five crispy tofu dishes ever.

When it comes to the beers, I was pleasantly surprised to hear they had Dieu du Ciel’s Rosée D’Hibiscus as their rotating seasonal tap. Probably the pinkest beer I’ve ever had, it packs a lot of fruity flavour with a slightly sour finish.

And you KNOW I couldn’t hit the former home of Jilly’s Strip Club without slamming down a Jilly’s Blonde, bro! Hey, it beats licking the sweat off a stripper’s g-string, or so I’m told… 😛

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