PATIO LIT EATS: Steaks on the beach @ Toronto Beach Club

Now, I’ve been down to Woodbine Beach on Canada Day a couple times, and the only thing they had to eat was Pizza Pizza. So when I heard that the Toronto Beach Club, this fancy new steak ‘n seafood joint, had opened up right on the beach — inside the same building as a Tim Hortons and a Booster Juice — you KNOW I had to check it out, bro! This place is serving up classics like lamb chops, a seafood tower, and a 40 oz porterhouse…along with some more Mediterranean fare, like this fried zucchini:

Now, you don’t usually see a lotta veggies on Triple B — but when they’re battered and fried, I could eat that all night long, Bro-nel Richie! I mean, I couldn’t even taste the zucchini underneath the crispy coating…which is just fine with me!

Next up, we’ve got this Middle Eastern take on avocado toast — labneh topped with avocado, served on a fresh ‘n hot pita that’s comes to the table all puffed up, so you know it’s gotta be good. Man, even with nothing on it, I could pound that pita bread all day…but you KNOW I gotta save room for steak, bro!!!

This 24 oz t-bone is 110 dollars on its own, with sides sold separately. (I think it’s meant for two people, but you know it’s just dinner for one in Flavourtown!) Meat is very charred on top, but still nice ‘n pink in the middle. And they even cut it all up for you — although I had to bite the last piece off the bone myself. And of course, you can’t have a steak dinner without mushrooms…the mushrooms are what makes it!!!!

Dude, these roasted mushrooms were so outta bounds, the lifeguard had to tell ’em to start swimming back to shore! Each shroom was as big as a head of broccoli, so you had to cut ’em up a couple times, but these were so tender and juicy that I could eat $110 worth of mushrooms alone! (That’s about 6 platefuls, in case you’re counting at home…)

But you KNOW we’ve still got room for dessert, and we’re going with a steakhouse classic — Baked Alaska, son! They even set it on fire in front of you…but it didn’t burn baby burn as much as the one at BlueBlood. The flavour profile was also a bit different, with lemon ice cream instead of your regularly scheduled chocolate/strawberry programming. But to say dessert was the least favourite part of the meal would be like saying Axl Rose is my least favourite singer of AC/DC — they’ve still got me ringing Hell’s Bells, bro!!!!!!!!!