Ah-ah-ah-ah, Jerk Lobster!!!

Now, we’ve had lobster a few different funky ways on Triple B, whether it was the 1.5-pound lobster roll at Smoked & Cracked (RIP), the Typhoon Crispy Lobster Mountain from Dine & Dim or the grandpappy of them all, Fishman Lobster Clubhouse’s 15 pounds of flavour. But one thing we haven’t tried until now was jerk lobster. I didn’t even know that was a thing, bro!

So, we’re hanging out at Patois, the legendary Jamaican Chinese joint on Dundas, which is now back at full capacity. I’ve already ordered takeout from dem a couple times during lockdown, so I know the food’s legit…and now they’re about to kick it up a notch!!!!

With jerk in the name, I figured it’s gotta be spicy — the waiter even warned us — but there wasn’t really any heat in this dish. Turns out it’s cooked with jerk butter, which definitely adds flavour, but not much of a kick. Now, what puts this ahead of other crispy lobster dishes we’ve destroyed is they pair it with tater tots instead of frozen french fries. You KNOW I gotta have my tots, bro!!!!!!!!

But that’s just the first act of this festival of funk in Flavourtown, son! We’re going to town on this $169 feast for four, starting off with Jamaican patties, kale salad and crispy Brussels sprouts. OK, so this wasn’t my favourite part of the feast — but hey, those Brussels sprouts weren’t too shabby…

These Caribbean side dishes ain’t no side chick, son! We’ve got coleslaw, rice & peas, shrimp chips and my personal favourite — Trini Mac Pie. Dude, any dish that combines mac ‘n cheese and pie has gotta be one of the all-time greatest culinary creations in Flavourtown, bro!!!!

But you KNOW this party’s just getting started in here, Bro-k Eyed Peas! Here come the hotsteppah — jerk chicken, fried chicken, and a pair of double smash burgers served on a Chinese pineapple bun!!! Oh, and they happen to have an extra-special secret ingredient…

Now, I dunno if you can tell from this angle, but they actually put Hickory Sticks, my all-time favourite chips on top of this burger! Patties are pretty tasty, too, and the pineapple bun adds some extra sweetness… Can this night even get any better, bro!!!!!!???????

You can totally order some fruity, tropical cocktails at this place — but since this blog ain’t Burgers, Bacon, Wray & Ting… I had to order a beer. Patois’ beer selection is pretty solid, too, with craft brews from Beaus, Blood Brothers, Cowbell and Fairweather alongside your Red Stripe and Dragon Stout. They’ve even got this Cowbell Citra Smash juicy IPA on tap, which is actually more fruity than hoppy at 40 IBU, and goes pretty great with Jamaican food, if I don’t say so myself…