Take me out to the ballgame, bro! Last night, my double bacon bro Jake Burger and the Chicago White Sox were in town…but we’re not eating burgers, cuz it’s Loonie Dog Night at the ballpark, son! That’s right, every Tuesday you can buy a hot dog for just one dollar — or do what I did, and get 10 for $10.
Now I gotta say, these seem smaller than your regular ballpark franks — I could scarf ’em down in just a couple bites. And unlike in Chicago, where you’ve got tons of toppings you can pile on, our continued pandemic precautions mean your only options are packets of ketchup, mustard and relish:
While I did grab about as many condiment packets as I could carry in one hand, I still did not have enough to go around. About halfway through, I was all outta mustard, and for the last five dogs, I only had two packets of ketchup and three packets of relish left — so some dogs got only relish, and others only got ketchup:
Man, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten this many hot dogs in one sitting before. (I once scarfed down 10 Doritos Locos Tacos, but that’s a different story, bro!) And I didn’t start to feel full until maybe the seventh or the eighth. Once I got to the end, I still wasn’t too uncomfortable, but I did NOT need to have another hot dog, put it that way…
But you KNOW I still had room for dessert, bro! We’re talking soft-serve ice cream in a batting helmet, with vanilla on top, and chocolate on the bottom:
OK, so I was getting pretty full after the ice cream. I had to eat it pretty fast, cuz it was like 29 in the shade last night, and I didn’t want it all to melt… It’s a good thing it doesn’t come in a full-sized batting helmet, bro — I don’t think I’d have room for that.
Burgers, Bacon & Beer 