Easter feaster buffet @ HOTHOUSE Cafe

Now, we don’t really celebrate Easter on Triple B (I just wait for all the chocolates to go on sale next week, bro!) but when we heard that HOTHOUSE, this funky joint on Church Street, just an Easter egg toss from St. Lawrence Market, was serving up an AYCE Easter buffet for 40 bucks plus tax, you KNOW I’ll be there with bunny ears on, bro! And let’s just say I made sure I got my money’s worth…

Plate 1: Salmon Wellington, penne, chicken leg, cold mussels, coleslaw, olives, apple turnover

My first go-round wasn’t very well thought out — I pretty much just grabbed stuff at random. I think the best thing on this plate was the salmon, which was perfectly hot and flaky.

Plate 2: scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, waffles

Plate 2 was all about breakfast, boo! They were all outta French toast when I came around, so instead I went with waffles, which they were cranking out at the waffle iron all day, so they were pretty hot and tasty. Bacon was basically the opposite of crispy, super undercooked. Maybe the best thing on this plate were the sausages, which tasted amazing by comparison.

Plate 3: roast beef, lamb, jerk chicken, cheese capellini, roast potatoes, potato salad

Plate 3 is when I hit up the carving station, where they were serving up both lamb AND roast beef — the beef was super tender and juicy, too! We’ve also got two kinds of potatoes — roasted AND salad — some white-guy-spicy jerk chicken, and an underrated scene-stealer with these cheese capellini. What’s the difference between capellini and tortellini? Beats me-linni!!!!

Plate 4: Omelette with bacon, mushrooms, green onion, tomato with side of bacon and potatoes

The omelette station is super-efficient, with two omeletteers working three burners each — that’s six in total — so I didn’t have to wait in line. I added some more potatoes and not-very-good bacon to this plate, cuz even if the bacon’s not very good, I mean, it’s still got bacon in it, right?

Plate 5: bread pudding, caramel square, white chocolate chip cookie, two kinds of chocolate cake

Dessert was a lavish affair, with about twice as much stuff to choose from as what you see here. (I did not have room for Second Dessert, but I did grab two plates, so there’s that.) I think the cake on the right was gluten-free aka flourless chocolate cake — it wasn’t bad, but not as moist as the one on the left.

And yes, all the grub you see above only cost me 40 bucks — but the deals don’t end there, bro! They were also serving up two caesars for 10 bucks, son! Now, I dunno if you could get only one caesar for five bucks, or if you had to order two for the discount to kick in…but dude, when you can get two of anything for 10 bucks, you order two. That’s like the seventeenth rule of Flavourtown, bro!!!!!!!