It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…on Queen St!

Now, if there’s one thing I like more than Christmas, it’s drinking, and there’s this funky little pop-up joint on Queen St, just a puff-puff-pass from the Friendly Stranger, that lets you do both. Ho, ho ho, we’re hangin’ out at Miracle on Queen St, bro!!!

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Now, at this place, all the cocktails have Christmas-y names. I almost went for the Bad Santa or the Snowball Old Fashioned…until I saw they had a drink named after my all-time favourite line from my all-time favourite Christmas flick–Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker!!!

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Now, don’t ask me why this drink comes in a Santa’s lower-body mug. I was hoping they’d serve it in a sweaty undershirt, like John McClane would’ve wanted. And yes, there is more than just ice in this cup–you’ve also got rum, rum and more rum! OK, and then there’s Cachaca, Dry Curacao, Marshmallow Orgeat and sweet potato…but I mostly just taste the rum. I’m sooo gonna die hard with a vengeance, bro!!!

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Of course, it wouldn’t be a Triple B Flavourtown Roadtrip without me pounding at least one ice-cold brewski. The only beer they serve here is Henderson’s Yuletide Amber Ale, which is kinda like Rickard’s Red…but it comes in a much more festive can. But hey, just because they only have one beer doesn’t mean you can only drink one beer–let’s just say I gave this guy a great big bro-to-bear hug on the way back to the bar:

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Demolishing The Pint Tower Burger…double cheeseburger with bacon, pulled pork and a grilled cheese sammy!!!

So, we’re hanging out at The Pint Public House, this massive sports bar just steps from the CN Tower. Last time we were here, I destroyed four orders of 40-cent wings…but this time, I’ve got an even bigger challenge ahead of me. It seems this joint is serving up a tower of it’s own. This is The Pint Tower Burger:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a thick ‘n juicy bacon double cheeseburger, topped with pulled pork, with a grilled cheese sandwich in the middle. It might not be as friggin’ huge as the Go Chuck Yourself, as deadly as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or as messy as the 20 Napkin Burger, but it’s still gotta be the most outta-bounds, honky-tonk redonkadonk bacon burger I’ve conquered in the last six months:

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Man, I can barely wrap my hand around this thing–nevermind my jaw! But the meat is super-tender, you’ve got some nice bites of bacon, and a whole pile of tangy pulled pork. The grilled cheese would still be pretty tasty even if it wasn’t being crushed by all that beef, and the bun is about as soggy as a wet nap under all that juicy, meaty goodness… Dude, this is probably enough food to feed a family of four–or just another light snack in Flavourtown:

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(I didn’t even need 20 napkins for this one, son!!!!)

These BBQ bacon wings hit me like a hurricane…

Dude, if there’s one thing I like more than crushing a pound of chicken wings, it’s crushing two pounds of chicken wings…for the price of one. And down on Bloor St, just a slight breeze from Dovercourt, there’s this funky little dive with a wicked awesome wing night serving up all kinds of flavours–and they’re 2-for-1 on Tuesdays, son! Plus, they’re named after Miami’s football team AND Patrick Swayze’s all-time greatest film!? Welcome to Hurricanes Roadhouse!

Now, a pound of wings is normally 14 bucks here, but if you order two different flavours on Two-Fer Tuesdays, they do charge ya 50 cents extra. Although that price also includes either fries or veggies and blue cheese, so that’s still a pretty sweet deal. And while I don’t normally eat vegetables, you know I went for the veggies and dip–dude, this is body by blue cheese, bro!!!

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So, in the one hand we’ve got a pound of Red Hot wings, with a vinegary kick that’s probably just Frank’s Red Hot sauce. It does kinda linger with ya a bit, though. But if you want a real spicy wing, get the Gale Force–they’ll blow the paint offa yer barn, bro!!!

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But now here’s where they funk it up a notch. On top of the 12 different flavours on the menu, they also give you a Flavour of the Day, which could be anything under the sun… And last Tuesday’s FotD was BBQ Bacon, so you KNOW I had to order it! You’ve got the smoky BBQ taste of their Memphis BBQ sauce, but then you get bites of bacon juice all over the place–at least, it must be bacon juice, cuz I don’t see any actual bacon on the chicken, but it still tastes like bacon. It’s like a Christmastime miracle in Flavourtown!!!

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Of course, you KNOW I’m not gonna be drinking some hippy-dippy, GMO-friendly kale smoothie, Michael Bro-lander! Instead, we’re chugging back a couple Yellow Trucks, this complicated blond lager from Draught Dodger Brewery. This beer’s a little bit hoppier than your average lager, but it still goes down smoothly with some bacon-flavoured chicken wings!!!

Carne asada Alberta beef tacos @ Tres Carnales

Man, if there’s one thing I missed the most about living out west, it’s Alberta beef. Whatever they put in it, it’s just so much tastier over there. So, we’re hanging out at Tres Carnales, this funky little taco joint, right in the heart of downtown Edmonton, and there’s just one thing on my mind…carne asada, son!

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Now, at this place, tacos come four to an order, and they don’t let you mix and match. So while I might have liked to try the Alberta pork shoulder cochinita pibil or the local, farm fresh guisado de pollo, instead I’m all in on the steak.

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Now, these tacos might be in danger of being crushed by a dwarf, but what they lack in size, they more than make up in flavour. Meat is super tender, melts in your mouth. You’ve got a nice crunch from the onions, a little cilantro, lime, and a generous dollop of chipotle sauce… You could put that on a cowboy boot, and it would still taste good!!!!

12″ Dutch pancake stuffed with meat? Sounds like a balanced breakfast to me!!!

Last weekend, we were in Edmonton for the Grey Cup, looking for a place to eat a big breakfast before the big game…and we found just the place on Jasper Ave. We’re hanging out at De Dutch, an Edmonton institution and West Coast classic since 1975 putting a Dutch twist on breakfast and lunch. (They’re only open till 3, so ya gotta get there early!) This place specializes in 12″ personal pan pancakes, and they’re serving up a Dutch-Style pannekoek with all the meats:

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The Meat Lovers Pannekoek is totally outta bounds, bro! You’ve got Dutch-style back bacon, turkey bacon, ham AND sausage baked right into this thin ‘n fluffy pancake the size of a medium pizza…and then they put tomatoes and Dutch cheese on top!? Dude, this is breakfast, lunch AND dinner—or at least enough food to tide me over till kickoff!

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Choose Your Own Adventure Burger @ Storm Crow Manor

Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a nerd or nothing…although I did spend my high school years sitting at the table next to the cafeteria cuz they would give me free food at the end of lunch hour if they didn’t sell out. But when I heard that Storm Crow Manor, Canada’s Nerdiest Bar, was opening up in downtown Toronto, I was all over that like a fat kid on cafeteria pizza, bro!

Man, if you like sci-fi or super heroes, you’ll go nuts for funky dishes like Rebel X-Wings, Wolverine Poutine, Big Truffle in Little Chip-a…and these heroes in a deep-fried shell, Teenage Mutant Ninja Pickles:

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Dude, these pickles are super-hot and crispy, with enough batter to make everything better! They’re like, eight to an order, which is enough for two or three people–or one Guy Fieri wannabe from Calgary, bro! And you KNOW one does not simply go to Storm Crow Manor to eat pickles…

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OK, so here’s the deal. They’ve got this funky dish called the Dungeon Burger, which is kinda like going to Harvey’s…except you don’t choose your toppings, the dice chooses for you. With a roll of the 20-sided dice, you pick your bun, meat, cheese, toppings, sauces and sides…and it even comes with a trading card!

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I added one extra rule to this game–if I landed on something vegan, I got to go again. So I started out by rolling a 16 on the bun, which means baguette, and then for meat I got shaved prime rib, which should go together nicely. For toppings, I got tomato, shredded lettuce…and then I kept landing on lettuce again (they also have romaine). I definitely did NOT need two kinds of lettuce, so with a flick of the wrist, I rolled an 18…which meant tortilla chips. That’s right, this is nacho average beef dip, bro!!!

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OK, so let’s break it down. The baguette was nice ‘n toasty, the beef had a nice chew. A bit of juice from the tomato, some crunch from the nachos…and in the sauce department, I rolled ketchup, Storm Crow secret sauce and then a 20, which is Choose Your Own Sauce. I went with Sriracha aioli — dude, it’s like donkey sauce mixed with hot sauce!!! But having three sauces on the sammy made the chips a little soggy, and I couldn’t taste the secret sauce at all. Maybe next time I’ll just stick with two sauces…

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Now, when it came to decide on sides, there were two basic options–fries and green salad–and then a few more that cost extra money. To make it more likely you’d get one of the cheaper sides, rolling 1 to 6 would be fries and 7 to 12 would be salad, so you had to roll 13 or above to get something else. And wouldn’t you know I rolled between 7 and 12 like three times in a row–you don’t win friends with salad, bro! So finally, on my third re-roll, I got a baked potato, which is two dollars more…but hey, it does come with sour cream, chives and bacon, so I’d say that’s a big win!

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Grey Cup victory beers + beef dip @ The Undergound Tap & Grill

So, after Calgary crushed Ottawa in the Grey Cup last night, we’re partying it up in Edmonton, son! And what could go better with a Grey Cup victory than some Calgary craft beer and Alberta beef???

We’re hanging out at The Undergound Tap & Grill, this funky craft beer sports bar right in the heart of downtown Edmonton. This place has got over 70 beers on tap, but there’s only one that will quench my thirst after such a vicious beat down: Red Rage by Tool Shed Brewing Company.

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This amber ale is coming straight outta Calgary with an easy drinking taste and a just a hint of coffee at the end. And what goes better with Alberta beer than Alberta beef, bro????

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This beef dip was nothing fancy—roast beef, provolone cheese and sautéed onions, with a side of au jus for some dunkalicous action. But man, that Alberta beef sure is darn tootin’ tasty. I definitely missed this meat!!!!

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So, after slamming that roast beef sammy, I’ve still got room for a liquid dessert. This Rye Porter, also from Tool Shed, is nice and smooth, with just a bit of that coffee taste, but they brew it with rye malt to give it a bit of an extra kick. Man, if I ever come back to Calgary, I’m moving right across the street from the Tool Shed brewery!!!!!!!!