Legit lobster BLT @ La Société

So, we’re hanging out at La Société, this funky French bistro on Bloor St. Of course, you’ve got your duck confit, your cassoulet, your beef bourguignon…but for lunch, they’re also serving up a bunch of funky sammies, like a croque monsieur, roasted turkey, and this chicken of the sea, lobster BLT:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got these thick, meaty chunks of lobster in a lemon aioli, with some crispy bacon, crisp lettuce…and I guess there’s a tomato in there somewhere? Comes with a great big cup of fries — with both ketchup AND mayo, bro!!!

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Now, I’m normally more of a ketchup man, but as they say, when in Quebec, ou est la bibliothèque! I guess you could even make your own mayochup, but that might not be such a good idea at lunchtime…

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Speaking of getting mayochup’ed, this place only has two beers on tap — but they’re Kronenbourg and Lagunitas, so, y’know, quality over quantity, bro! This little half-pint will set you back nine bucks, though… Like I said, it’s a fancy French restaurant!!!

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Eating up on The Roof @ SOCO Food Fest

That’s right bro, last weekend we was hitting up not one, but two food festivals, son! On Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, SOCO Kitchen + Bar at the Delta Hotel was hosting this funky little food fest up on The Roof, its rooftop patio with a view of the CN Tower. Food tickets cost five bucks, but it’s not like they’re serving up burgers and fries — check out this Argentinian lamb sandwich!

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Dude, they’re fire-grilling the lamb right up there on the patio, then serving it up on a potato bun with some salsa and chimi-chimi-churri! I definitely don’t mind paying five bucks for this sandwich!!!

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Now, we’re scarfing that lamb sammy down with a side of Fidel Gastro’s legendary pad thai fries. These spuds are crunchy and super-spicy, with some bean shoots for a little extra bite. Haven’t had these bad boys since Lisa Marie shut down — reeeeunited, and it feels so good!!!

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Oh, and did I mention there was free booze, bro??? This Tromba tequila lime margarita comes in a lil’ sippy cup, but it’s still got a bit of a kick!

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Now, we’re heading back to the carving station for some slow-roasted suckling pig! This here piggy piggy is super-tender, fall-apart flavourful with a good ol’ fashioned German tater salad on the side!

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Aaaaand we’re washing it down with a cup of Strongbow Rosé Cider. Rosé All Day, bro!!!

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Now, the only thing that’s better than some fresh-roasted pork…is even more pork. (Hey, this ain’t BurgersBaconAndTofu.com, bro!) These Adobo pork belly skewers are drizzled with a chili vinegar and served with chicharones, crispy shallots and coleslaw — that’s a Triple C, right here on Triple B!!!!!

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You know what’s my favourite kinda beer? Free beer, bro! When Estrella Damn was handing out samples, you bet I didn’t say no!!!

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Of course, even after all this eatin’ and drinkin’, we’ve still got room for dessert! And they really knocked it outta the Rogers Centre with this blueberry cheesecake soft-serve cone, dipped in chocolate, with a Graham cracker crust and even more G-crackas sticking out. This dish is so outta bounds, it bounced right off the foul pole, Vladdy Guerrer-bro!!!

ImageAnd boom goes the dynamite!!!

Fried chicken taco + surf ‘n turf fries @ Panamerican Food Festival

So, we’re hanging out at the Panamerican Food & Music Festival, this funky little fiesta at Yonge Dundas Square. Now, in a place like this, you know there’s gonna be a ton of tacos, but I was looking for the funkiest, chunkiest taco I could get my hands on…and I think I found it:

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This Korean fried chicken taco from the funky bunch at GOGI packs a whole stick of chicken with a tangy sauce in with kimchi, lettuce, scallions and a little crema, for that extra creaminess. Now, you can bite the chicken right off the stick, until you get to the middle, then it gets a little messy. But hey, if it ain’t messy, it ain’t tasty, bro!!!

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Of course, you KNOW I can’t eat just one taco, bro! So I stopped off next door for some Mar & Tierra (Sea & Earth) Fries from El Trompo Movil. This is like Mexican Poutine Gone Wild! The fries are hot ‘n crispy, you’ve got that south-of-the-border flavour with the crema ‘n guac, shrimp are cooked perfectly, and then there’s these small pieces of steak scattered around, along with little balls of shredded cheese. Probably one of the most outta-bounds versions of poutine I’ve ever had — all that’s missing is some killer queso fundido on top!!!

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Now, they don’t actually serve beer at this festival, so I had to settle for a watermelon smoothie…straight from the melon! Dude, this is like the most fruit I’ve had all month!!!

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But even after all that funky food and drink, you KNOW I’ve still got room for a churro, bro! Dude, there’s always room for churros!!!

Eating all the tacos @ HotMess

So, we’re hanging out at HotMess, this funky little Tex-Mex joint on College St. When I was here last year, I chowed down on some real-deal Frito pie and a super-spicy patty melt. But now we’re back for Taco Tuesday, where every single one of their hard-shell tacos are just five bucks…which means I’m gonna hafta try all seven!!!

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We’re starting off with the cheeseburger taco, which piles dill pickle, shredded lettuce and southwest sauce on top of your classic beef taco — ground beef, pico de gallo and cheddar cheese. This taco was super-crunchy, and so messy that I needed to go in with a fork to pick up all the extras that fell onto the tray!

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This is the Original Beef, which is a lot less fancy, but just as tasty. You’ve got the tomato, cheddar cheese, and a whole lotta lettuce — at least I’m eating my veggies today!!!

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Now, the Taco Beef kicks it up a notch with some jalapenos, beans, guacamole and buttermilk ranch — dude, this is body by buttermilk ranch!!!!

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But now we’re switchin’ gears to chicken! This Margarita Chicken taco adds some freshness with mango — you’ve also got guac, goat cheese and more of that buttermilk ranch… I’d put it on a flip-flop!!!!

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Speaking of fruity, this chorizo taco throws down some roasted pineapple, bro! Now, this ain’t my first pineapple taco rodeo — it often comes with tacos al pastor, but adding it to chorizo makes my mouth go “Yeah, bro!!!!”

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I told you I was getting my veggies tonight! This vegan street-corn taco is topped with all kinds of carrots — that’s gotta be at least two servings, right there…

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Now, we’re saving the spiciest for last, son! This Hot Chicken taco kicks it up a notch with jalapeno beans, Monterrey Jack and some Valentina hot sauce — I’m gonna hafta chug a coupla beers after this one!!!

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Speaking of beers, this place has got all kinds of local craft cans, bro! Sure, you could get a Modelo for five bucks, but why do that when you can have a Sunfest Cerveza from Anderson Ales? This light, crisp Mexican lager is kinda like Corona, but without the sour aftertaste. I could butt-chug a whole buncha these!!!

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Now here’s one from waaaay out in left field — Left Field Brewery, bro! This WHIP Pina Colada Smoothie IPA is brewed with pineapple, coconut, lactose and vanilla… I’d like to keep mine under 2.00.

4 crazy rich sandwiches (+squid on a stick!) @ Waterfront Night Market

Dude, you KNOW I’ve got a smile on my face, cuz I’m taking my fat ass to Ontario Place! Last weekend, the happiest place in Ontario played host to the Waterfront Night Market, a culinary pan-Asian invasion of epic proportions! Now, since both Burgermania and the Mac ‘n Cheese Fest moved off the island, I haven’t had much reason to come here, but when I heard about some of the stuff they were serving up, I knew I had to check it out!!!

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Now, I don’t always go out looking for bacon, but it always seems to find me. This sweet, sweet bacon slider from the Filipino bros at Tocino Boys is served on a milk bun with mustard, mayo, garlic butter…and no veggies whatsoever, just the way I like it!!!

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Yeah, it comes on a bun, but this ain’t no hot dog, bro! This bulgogi beef buldog is topped with cabbage, onions, scallions — and for two dollars more I added kim chi and torched cheese… Dude, this is body by torched cheese!!!!!

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This next dish definitely kicks the funkaliciousness up a notch! This Filipino soul food classic from my kamayan kingdom Platito combines plump ‘n juicy fried chicken with a super savoury ube waffle for this crazy take on chicken ‘n waffles — and the best part is, you can eat it with your hands!

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Now, those sandwiches were all magically delicious, but I swear the longest lines at the whole damn festival were for grilled octopus on a stick! Dude, I would eat anything you gotta bite off a big piece of wood, and when they brush it with chili sauce and add some peanuts for garnish, I totally don’t regret not getting the lamb sticks instead…

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Now, the one thing that was pretty messed about this fest is you gotta pay 20 bucks just to enter the beer garden. So, instead I’m slurping down some grapefruit green tea — don’t knock it till you try it, bro!!!

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We’ve also got some Thai iced tea, served in a plastic bag full of ice…cuz that’s even more unfriendly to the environment??

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But even after that decadent meat extravaganza, you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert, bro! This Hong Kong bubble waffle joint had the longest lines for anything NOT served on a stick, and this s’mores ice cream waffle sandwich was so tasty, even the Tyrannosaurus Rex wants it!!!!

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Just another righteous feast in the Flavourzoac era, dino bro!!!

It’s a steak… It’s a bacon… No, it’s porchetta and eggs, man!!!

Now, I’m no stranger to steak and eggs, and you know this is body by bacon – it’s right there in the name of the blog, bro! But when I heard that Figo, this modern Italian place on Adelaide, was serving up porchetta and eggs for brunch, you know I had to duck into the nearest phone booth and change into my pig-eating costume!!!!

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got some super-crispy pork, cooked in their wood-fired oven, with these perfectly fried eggs – don’t break the yolk, bro! Salsa verde adds a bit of a kick, and I swear to King Diamond that’s the second time a restaurant has made me eat arugula this month. It was very… arugul-ey, I guess?

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We’re washing it all down with a spicy Figo Caesar, made from Ketel One, Clamato, Tobasco, lime juice, Wor-chester-chester-shire and then some salsa verde for an added kick. I stuck the jalapeno garnish in there right away, and I gotta say, it was pretty spicy. Now where’s the raisins when I need ‘em???

Portuguese-style steak frites @ Via Norte

You know me, this is body by steak, bro! You can put steak on anything, and it would still taste good – as long as it’s not well done. And I’m no stranger to steak ‘n eggs for breakfast, but I don’t usually eat steak for dinner with a fried egg on top. That’s how they do it in Portugal, though, and at Via Norte, this classy joint right at the corner of College and Dovercourt, they’re serving up bistoque like they do back home.

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Now, this might not be the first rule of Flavourtown, but somewhere in the rulebook it says that when you eat at a Greek restaurant, you gotta have flaming cheese, and when you’re at a Portuguese place, you start with flaming sausage. This fire-grilled chorizo is nice and crispy, but I actually like the blood sausage even better:

via_norte_sausages (5)That’s right, they’ve got two sausages for the price of one, son!!!

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But now it’s time for the main event. This steak was cooked to a nice medium rare, and you get some nice bites of egg without it being too runny. The home fries were pretty legit, and there’s a couple of pickled veggies, you know, for that one serving of vegetables. Not the biggest or the best steak I’ve ever had, but it gets the job done.

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Actually, I’d probably say the same thing about Sagres, this pilsner beer straight outta Portugal. It’s a little maltier than, say, Steam Whistle, but it doesn’t overpower you or anything.

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Of course, after stuffing my face with sausage and steak, you KNOW I’ve still got room for dessert, bro! They didn’t have any triple chocolate cake, but this white chocolate flan, with some sweet streaks of sauce and a few fresh blueberries, might be the healthiest thing I eat all week – unless you count the pickled veggies.