Food festival season has almost begun, son! Now, the weather outside still sucks mozza balls, so we’re hanging out indoors at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre for the T.O. Food & Drink Fest. This second-floor soiree is serving up libations and nosh from all over this city — and even outside the city limits — so let’s check it out!
Now, most of the food & drink ain’t free, but right when you walk in, there are two different stands serving up free samples of two kinds of Barbados rum. My personal favourite is the red rum — a few of these won’t make me a dull boy, bro!!!!!!!
When it comes to food, we’re saving the best for first with a double butter burger from Chef Joe Friday. Now, these babies ain’t free, but at five bucks for a single and eight bucks for a double, they’re practically giving them away. You’ve got some nice, thinly grilled patties, oozy American cheese, stewed onions and a couple hidden pickles, all thrown down on a potato bun — can’t go wrong with any of that at all!!!!
But man, if that butter burger was the best bite of the food fest, this jerk pork croque monsieur from the Communal Eats food truck is a close second. You’ve got big chunks of spicy pork, with mustard and cheese sauce on a crispy roll — this is only half of it, bro!!!!
Now, that pork was pretty spicy, but right across from me as I was eating it, I saw this stand selling Matt & Steve’s caesars for two bucks a pop. It’s poured premade from a can, but hey, it definitely gets the job done, son!!!!!!
But I did mention there would be beer here, so now we’re s-s-s-switchin’ to glide with an organic hazy IPA from London Brewing. You can’t find these beers from the party school capital of Canada at any bars in The Big Smoke just yet, but I could totally crush a few of these at a country music concert at Budweiser Gardens, bro!!!!!!!!!!
And in case that jerk pork didn’t put enough fire in ya wire, we’re doubling down with some jerk chicken & pineapple mac ‘n cheese from Porkyz. This wasn’t part of the plan, but I saw the mac ‘n cheese stand, and they were all outta regular, so when the choices are between ground beef and this, I’m all about the go big or go home. Didn’t get too many pieces of pineapple, but when I did, they added a nice sweetness that you wouldn’t expect from a dish like this.
But now it’s time for more beer. And I’m going for something light and refreshing, like this Kolsch Style Ale from Sir Monty’s, another brewery that’s new to me, coming straight outta Courtice. They were pouring these at a tent that was also offering beer tours — you KNOW beer tours are my favourite kind of tour, bro!!!!!!!!!!
We definitely don’t see Hawaiian food every day on Triple B, so you KNOW I gotta check out Liko’s BBQ, bro! But I’m not so big on Spam Musubi, and I can get a pretty good poke bowl in my backyard, so even though I just ate a pork sammy an hour ago, I’m gonna go with the Kalua pork. This is pretty much pulled pork on steroids, with a sweet, tangy Hawaiian BBQ sauce. Man, I shouldda bought some of that sauce to take home…
Right across the way from the Hawaiian BBQ, Radical Road Brewing has a nice little tropical setup with a handful of tables and chairs, and a few beers and shots to choose from. I went with this Yuzu Pale Ale, a nice, citrusy take on an IPA that really goes well with some Kalua pork!!!!
But now it’s time for the Lowlight of the Night, boys and girls. Man, when I saw the stand serving up mozzarella balls and brie balls, I was all over that like sweat on a nutsack — dude, this is body by mozza balls, bro! But there was a pretty long line, and that’s because these balls took a long time. They only had one deep-fryer running, and just couldn’t keep up with demand. Plus, when I finally got these balls, they were only half baked:
Instead of being warm and gooey, the cheese was not fully melted. The first ball was lukewarm, and the next two were cold. And they only come in orders of three or five, so you literally can’t eat just one (unless, like, you share or something). Man, these balls were such a big letdown that I almost didn’t put the third one in my mouth. I was even gonna throw it out, and dude, it’s not like me to buy three balls and only eat two, lemme tell you…
But even after choking down those cold and salty balls, I still had room for dessert. I was only gonna get one donut, but they told me it was one for seven bucks or two for 10, and at that price, I might as well get two. The Cookies and Cream was nice ‘n creamy, with a full Oreo on top, but the Salted Kit Kat donut is what makes it! Nice, creamy icing, with swirls of caramel, just a little saltiness, and a couple chunks of Kat Kat on top. You can break me off a piece of those any day, bros!!!!!!!!!!!
Burgers, Bacon & Beer 
