Demolishing The Pint Tower Burger…double cheeseburger with bacon, pulled pork and a grilled cheese sammy!!!

So, we’re hanging out at The Pint Public House, this massive sports bar just steps from the CN Tower. Last time we were here, I destroyed four orders of 40-cent wings…but this time, I’ve got an even bigger challenge ahead of me. It seems this joint is serving up a tower of it’s own. This is The Pint Tower Burger:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got a thick ‘n juicy bacon double cheeseburger, topped with pulled pork, with a grilled cheese sandwich in the middle. It might not be as friggin’ huge as the Go Chuck Yourself, as deadly as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or as messy as the 20 Napkin Burger, but it’s still gotta be the most outta-bounds, honky-tonk redonkadonk bacon burger I’ve conquered in the last six months:

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Man, I can barely wrap my hand around this thing–nevermind my jaw! But the meat is super-tender, you’ve got some nice bites of bacon, and a whole pile of tangy pulled pork. The grilled cheese would still be pretty tasty even if it wasn’t being crushed by all that beef, and the bun is about as soggy as a wet nap under all that juicy, meaty goodness… Dude, this is probably enough food to feed a family of four–or just another light snack in Flavourtown:

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(I didn’t even need 20 napkins for this one, son!!!!)

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These BBQ bacon wings hit me like a hurricane…

Dude, if there’s one thing I like more than crushing a pound of chicken wings, it’s crushing two pounds of chicken wings…for the price of one. And down on Bloor St, just a slight breeze from Dovercourt, there’s this funky little dive with a wicked awesome wing night serving up all kinds of flavours–and they’re 2-for-1 on Tuesdays, son! Plus, they’re named after Miami’s football team AND Patrick Swayze’s all-time greatest film!? Welcome to Hurricanes Roadhouse!

Now, a pound of wings is normally 14 bucks here, but if you order two different flavours on Two-Fer Tuesdays, they do charge ya 50 cents extra. Although that price also includes either fries or veggies and blue cheese, so that’s still a pretty sweet deal. And while I don’t normally eat vegetables, you know I went for the veggies and dip–dude, this is body by blue cheese, bro!!!

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So, in the one hand we’ve got a pound of Red Hot wings, with a vinegary kick that’s probably just Frank’s Red Hot sauce. It does kinda linger with ya a bit, though. But if you want a real spicy wing, get the Gale Force–they’ll blow the paint offa yer barn, bro!!!

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But now here’s where they funk it up a notch. On top of the 12 different flavours on the menu, they also give you a Flavour of the Day, which could be anything under the sun… And last Tuesday’s FotD was BBQ Bacon, so you KNOW I had to order it! You’ve got the smoky BBQ taste of their Memphis BBQ sauce, but then you get bites of bacon juice all over the place–at least, it must be bacon juice, cuz I don’t see any actual bacon on the chicken, but it still tastes like bacon. It’s like a Christmastime miracle in Flavourtown!!!

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Of course, you KNOW I’m not gonna be drinking some hippy-dippy, GMO-friendly kale smoothie, Michael Bro-lander! Instead, we’re chugging back a couple Yellow Trucks, this complicated blond lager from Draught Dodger Brewery. This beer’s a little bit hoppier than your average lager, but it still goes down smoothly with some bacon-flavoured chicken wings!!!

Choose Your Own Adventure Burger @ Storm Crow Manor

Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a nerd or nothing…although I did spend my high school years sitting at the table next to the cafeteria cuz they would give me free food at the end of lunch hour if they didn’t sell out. But when I heard that Storm Crow Manor, Canada’s Nerdiest Bar, was opening up in downtown Toronto, I was all over that like a fat kid on cafeteria pizza, bro!

Man, if you like sci-fi or super heroes, you’ll go nuts for funky dishes like Rebel X-Wings, Wolverine Poutine, Big Truffle in Little Chip-a…and these heroes in a deep-fried shell, Teenage Mutant Ninja Pickles:

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Dude, these pickles are super-hot and crispy, with enough batter to make everything better! They’re like, eight to an order, which is enough for two or three people–or one Guy Fieri wannabe from Calgary, bro! And you KNOW one does not simply go to Storm Crow Manor to eat pickles…

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OK, so here’s the deal. They’ve got this funky dish called the Dungeon Burger, which is kinda like going to Harvey’s…except you don’t choose your toppings, the dice chooses for you. With a roll of the 20-sided dice, you pick your bun, meat, cheese, toppings, sauces and sides…and it even comes with a trading card!

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I added one extra rule to this game–if I landed on something vegan, I got to go again. So I started out by rolling a 16 on the bun, which means baguette, and then for meat I got shaved prime rib, which should go together nicely. For toppings, I got tomato, shredded lettuce…and then I kept landing on lettuce again (they also have romaine). I definitely did NOT need two kinds of lettuce, so with a flick of the wrist, I rolled an 18…which meant tortilla chips. That’s right, this is nacho average beef dip, bro!!!

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OK, so let’s break it down. The baguette was nice ‘n toasty, the beef had a nice chew. A bit of juice from the tomato, some crunch from the nachos…and in the sauce department, I rolled ketchup, Storm Crow secret sauce and then a 20, which is Choose Your Own Sauce. I went with Sriracha aioli — dude, it’s like donkey sauce mixed with hot sauce!!! But having three sauces on the sammy made the chips a little soggy, and I couldn’t taste the secret sauce at all. Maybe next time I’ll just stick with two sauces…

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Now, when it came to decide on sides, there were two basic options–fries and green salad–and then a few more that cost extra money. To make it more likely you’d get one of the cheaper sides, rolling 1 to 6 would be fries and 7 to 12 would be salad, so you had to roll 13 or above to get something else. And wouldn’t you know I rolled between 7 and 12 like three times in a row–you don’t win friends with salad, bro! So finally, on my third re-roll, I got a baked potato, which is two dollars more…but hey, it does come with sour cream, chives and bacon, so I’d say that’s a big win!

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Hungry for Hungarian at Country Style Restaurant

Now you know I like my chicken fried, cold beer on a Friday night, chillin’ on a dirt road and all that good stuff. But fried chicken is not just a southern thing—there are a few funky Eastern European joints in Toronto that do it up right. Whether you go for chicken or pork, you gotta check out Tennessee Tavern, Schnitzel Queen, and this Hungarian joint that’s so old school it doesn’t even have a website. This is Country Style Hungarian, son!!!

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Now, whether you’re in Austria, Switzerland, Poland or Hungary, you’ll find some of the same Eastern European comfort food classics—like this pierogi and sausage plate. These pierogis are boiled until they fall apart, with stringy fried onions, sour cream and a few nice bits of Hungarian sausage. Dude, this is body by Hungarian sausage!!!

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And now it’s time for the main event. This Hunter Schnitzel is covered in onions, peppers, mushrooms and tomato sauce – sorta like a Philly cheese schnitzel, but without the cheese – and you KNOW it’s searching for love on these lonely streets again, Dokken Bro! Even though there’s not enough to go around this dinner-plate-sized orb of deep-fried flavour, the sauce and toppings keep the schnitzel from being too dry…and hiding beneath all that breaded goodness, we’ve also got Hungarian dumplings and gravy:

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Now, these little Flavourtown nuggets are sorta like spaetzle, except instead of being fried, I think they might be boiled or something. And they kinda look like cheese curds too, eh? Believe it or not, but there’s pretty much a whole plate of ‘em underneath all that meat!!!

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Now, they don’t have any Hungarian beer at Country Style (I guess the closest thing would be Pilsner Urquell?), so instead I went with a refreshing glass of Malnaszorp, this Hungarian raspberry soda. It’s kinda like drinking a glass of water with cherry syrup at the bottom…but instead of cherry, it’s raspberry—which is definitely something you don’t see every day on this side of the pond!

This steak was imported from Argentina para Vos…

Man, if there’s one food I’d eat pretty much any way you slice it, it’s gotta be steak. I’ve tackled a 22 oz cowboy ribeye, a 20 oz porterhouse, a 22 oz prime rib…I even ate most of a 67 oz roast beef for one. But one thing I’ve never done was eat steak that was shipped all the way from Argentina–until now.

So, we’re hanging out at Vos Restaurante Argentino, this funky little joint just three doors down from Southern Accent on College Street. These guys get their hormone-free, grass-fed beef straight from the source, and they cook it with charcoal, just like back in the old country. They’re even serving up this killer take on an Argentinian classic–say hola to my short rib empanada!

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OK, first of all, this crust is so flaky it makes Gary Busey seem like a normal guy. They deep-fry it to perfection, and stuff it with tender chunks of short rib, along with some onions and carrots. Then they throw in some smoked chorizo for a double down in Flavourtown! Dude, I could crush, like, 16 of these…but then I wouldn’t have room for the main course:

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Now, with so many great cuts of beef on the menu, I couldn’t have just one. So I went Splitsville on an entrana de ternera (veal skirt steak) along with some more beef short ribs. Who needs mas tequila when you can have mas asado, bro???

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Now, the skirt steak was thinner and chewy, while the short rib was thick ‘n delicious–which is also my online dating handle on Plenty of Beef (why have fish when you can have beef, bro?). Both were nicely seasoned, with a nice charcoal flavour, paired with a side order of mushrooms with chorizo and then some rosemary french fries.

Now, this might not have been the most meat I’ve ever shoved down my piehole in one sitting (a full order of skirt steak is 8 oz while a rack of short ribs is 20…but I only had half), but it might be right up there in the top five steaks I’ve had this year. And this temple is body by steak, so that’s really saying something!!!

 

Toronto Christmas Market Beer @ Mill St Brew Pub

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…which means I’m diving head-first into the Stocking Stuffer Ale, son! We’re hanging out at the Mill St Brew Pub, right in the heart of the Distillery District, where the Toronto Christmas Market was kicking off last Friday. Don’t get me wrong, I might go for a mulled wine or a winter whiskey and save some room for a giant pretzel or two, but I’m mostly just here for the beer, bro!!!

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This bold and creamy Christmas ale is inspired by all your favourite holiday desserts. You’ve got caramel, nutmeg, with a bit of raisins and figs… It’s like a liquid Christmas pudding in Flavourtown! And of course, since the name of this blog isn’t Candy Canes, Mistletoe and Beer, you KNOW I gotta go for a bacon cheeseburger, bro!!!

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Now, the way they describe the Top Shelf Stout Burger on the menu sounds pretty amazeballs. Charbroiled chuck burger, Otttawa Valley vintage cheddar, double smoked pork belly and a Cobblestone Stout aioli!? Shut the back door! But objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are, Meat Broaf. The patty was a little too charred, that “double smoked pork belly” was really just two sad strips of bacon, and there were so many pickle spears on this thing that I had pickle breath for the rest of the night. But hey, I guess it drowns the beer?

Pineapple on a pizza? Don’t mind if I do…

Now, I’ve never understood the hatred for Hawaiian pizza. OK, so it might be kinda weird to put fruit on a pizza pie…but how else am I gonna get six servings of fruit a day, bro???

So, we’re hanging out at General Assembly Pizza, this funky little joint where they don’t just put pineapple on a pizza–they pair it with jalapenos and double smoked bacon. This is the Porky Pine:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’re got the crispness of the bacon, a little sweetness from the pineapple, some great big globs of ricotta cheese, along with aged mozzarella…but it’s the jalapenos that really kick it up a notch. This ‘za is super-spicy, bro! I pretty much had to chug seven tallboys just to beat the heat!!! But when their tallboys of Mascot Pilsner are only seven bucks, I just mighta chugged seven tallboys anyways.

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