This burger’s so baller, it might make you miss your connection…

Now, I gotta say, it had been a little while since I flew Air Canada outta Pearson to the States, up until last month. That dinky little lounge that was around the corner and down the stairs has now been fully renovated, all shiny and new, and it’s even got its own funky little burger joint — The Burger Federation!

Now, they ain’t serving up no Big Macs here, not even Five Guys. Instead, they’ve got burgers and sammies with local and international connections, like The Roncy, Chicken Schnitzel, or this one-way ticket to Flavourtown, the French Connection:

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OK, now let’s break it down. You’ve got not one, but two kinds of beef here–roast beef and Angus. Plus, there’s some creamy, melty chunks of brie, a super-secret “federation sauce,” and they even hide a couple Hickory Sticks in there, for that extra crunch…

Dude, this burger is so dope that I’d take a plane to Buffalo just so I could crush a couple more of these…as long as there’s some wings waiting when I land, bro!

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Back bacon portobello kangaroo burger @ W Burger Bar

Now, kangaroo is not something you see every day–especially up here in Canada. Although I’ve had a kangaroo sausage at Wvrst before, and some grilled kangaroo mac ‘n cheese a couple years back…but a kangaroo burger? That’s definitely kicking it up a notch!

So, we’re hanging out at W Burger Bar, this funky little joint that’s right next to Fran’s at Yonge and College. This place is all about the burgers, but it’s not just beef. They’ve got a lamb burger, chicken burger, turkey burger, bison burger, wild boar burger, elk burger…and oh yeah, a kangaroo burger, too:

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Not only are their burgers outta bounds, but they let you pick all your toppings, too! So, along with the standard lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles, I funked it up with some salsa, some tzatziki…and then I paid a couple bucks more for back bacon and portabello mushrooms. Dude, this is body by back bacon and portabello mushrooms!!!!

And I gotta say, this was one the top five burgers I’ve had this year. The patty was thick and juicy, the back bacon added a nice chew, you had the creaminess from the tzatziki, a little crunch from the onion… All that and a side of Greek fries, bro!

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Now, this side dish was a hot mess in Flavourtown. You’ve got these shoestring fries, which were salty enough already, and then you add feta, olives and Greek dressing!? Dude, I just about salted myself! But you know what they say, if it ain’t salty, it ain’t tasty…

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Of course, you KNOW those salty fries are gonna make me wanna chug about 57 beers, bro–like this Confederation Amber Ale from Flying Monkeys. Cuz you can’t have a kangaroo burger without some Flying Monkeys, amirite???

All hail saison… YES HAIL SAIIIIISON!

So, we’re hanging out at Escape Goat, this funky little dive in Parkdale, just east of Little Tibet. When I first saw this place, I thought it was a little Tibetan joint with a funny name, but it turns out there’s no momos here, bro! Instead, they’re pouring a whole buncha fresh ‘n funky local craft beers, like this Black Funeral in Flavourtown… Hail Saison by Blood Brothers!

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This hazy blonde saison is brewed with honeydew, which is probably the most evil of melons. Lotsa head on this one, too, although it’s not too strong at 5% and it’s got a nice, fruity aftertaste, too. Maybe not my go-to beer for a ritual sacrifice, but still pretty tasty…

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After that, we’re kicking things up a notch with False Awakening, a funky coffee IPA from Rorschach Brewing. This beer’s got a strong coffee kick, but still has the fruity bitterness of an IPA… What in the name of King Diamond is this???

 

Oh no, there goes Tokyo… Go, go Gosezilla!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Northern Maverick, this funky craft brewpub on Bathurst, where they’ve got eight beers brewed in house on tap, but there’s only one I wanna try…OK, make that two. They’ve actually got two different goses, which they call Gosezilla, and they’re like a funky one-two fruit punch in Flavourtown!

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Up first is the Strawberry & Pineapple Gosezilla, brewed with fresh strawberries, and a little kick of pineapple at the end. Man, who needs Booster Juice when you can slam one of these smoothies, bro???

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Aaaaaand now we’re kicking it up another notch with the Peach & Mango Gosezilla. This one is super-refreshing, with millions of peaches, peaches for me…lookout!

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Of course, with all that fruit in the beer, I don’t even need to order a salad…not like I would have anyways, bro! Instead, we’re talking fried chicken, cornbread, and coleslaw (which counts as a salad, I guess?). The craziest thing about this dish is it’s completely boneless–they just shape it to look like a breast or a thigh. And you’ve got a bit of garlic ranch and some jerk sauce on the side–dude, Jerk Sauce was the name of my Sublime cover band, bro!!!!

This is probably the best place to watch football in Pittsburgh…

So, we’re hanging out at City Works, this funky joint in Market Square, right in the heart of downtown Pittsburgh. Now, since the Steelers were playing on Monday Night Football last week, it meant you could watch any other game on Sunday–and this place was showing pretty much all of them. I mean, they even had the Bills game on, bro!!!!

Not only that, but they’ve got some funky delish dishes, plus over 90 craft beers on tap. Dude, it’s kinda like Real Sports…without all the douchebags. Oh, and they’ve got better beer here, too.

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So, we’re starting off with a Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’, this hoppy pale wheat ale from Lagunitas. Dude, we’re lucky if we get Lagunitas IPA in Toronto, so you know I’m all over this one. It tastes kinda like a strong hefeweizen, but with an apricot aftertaste that explodes all over my face, bro!!!

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Now, you know I love nachos, and I’m also a big fan of duck confit, so when you put ’em together, it’s like bippity, boppity boo, bro! You’ve got some onions, tomato, jalapenos and queso fresco, along with white beans, for that funky fresh Frenchness, all smothered in pepper jack cheese sauce…and served on wonton chips!? Shut the back door!!!

Now, this plate of nachos was actually not that big, so I definitely still had room forĀ  dessert:

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Dude, if this Peanut Butter Snickers Pie was any more rich, it would be throwing dynamite with Maren Morris! You’ve got an Oreo cookie crust, peanut butter mousse, whipped cream and chunks of Snickers, served up on a checkerboard of caramel and chocolate sauce–that’s a checkmate in Flavourtown, bro!!!

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Now what goes better with dessert than another beer? This here’s a nice chocolately cocoa porter called Sweet Baby Jesus from Duclaw Brewing outta Baltimore…and I didn’t even hafta go to Baltimore to get it!

 

Beer and nachos for just 10 bucks, bros!!!!

So, we’re hanging out at Squirly’s Bar & Grill, this funky little dive on Queen Street West. Man, this place was playing punk bands on the stereo I’ve never even heard of, bro! And you gotta get there early, cuz from 4 to 7 pm you can get a pint of beer and a plate of nachos for just 10 bucks!

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Now, despite what it says on the glass, this beer is NOT from Great Lakes Brewery. This is Stratford Pilsner, straight outta the home of Justin Bieber. I will never say never to another one of these brewskis, bro!!!

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So, now we’re going nachos. These tri-color chips are topped with cheese, green onions, tomatoes…and green olives, for some reason. OK, so they’re not the best nachos I’ve ever had. Probably not even in my Top 10. But did I mention that all this, plus any pint of craft beer, is just 10 bucks until 7 pm? That’s a Honky-Tonk Redonkadonk Happy Hour Hoedown in Flavourtown, Dean Bro-dy!!!!

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So, now that it’s after 7, we’re sa-sa-switchin to Side Launch Wheat, son! This light, slightly citrusy local craft beer tastes like gold to me–even in a Woodhouse Brewing glass…

Drinking all the beer in Kensington Market

Some people might go to Kensington Market to buy groceries. Me, I go there to drink beer. And in the last few years, a whole buncha funky little joints have opened up that serve up the suds from all over this city. So this past weekend, we headed out to pound some of the best beers from the funkiest joints in the Market–right here, right now on Triple B:

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So, we’re starting our journey at Trinity Common, this funky little beer hall on Augusta, with a Clutch American pale ale from my Barrie bros at Redline Brewhouse. This beer might not be named after Neil Fallon, but I’d still put it on a five note!

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Now, for dessert we’re drinking Glace Noir, this funky black currant ice cream stout from Dominion City. This one totally kicks the funkaliciousness up a notch–you’ve got a nice, rich, fruity taste with a hit of stouty coffee flavour at the end. I don’t know how they do it, but they sure do it good, Ted Bro-gent!!!

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From there, we stumbled across the street to Supermarket, where the craftiest craft beer they had was this Space Invader IPA from Amsterdam Brewery. Dude, I couldda chugged a couple of these when I was actually playing Space Invaders at Get Well the other night

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And since it was getting to be around snack time, I scarfed down some pineapple chicken at Supermarket, too. You gotta love anything you can eat with a toothpick–and this was only like seven bucks, bro!!!

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Now, if you’re looking for some real-deal, local craft beer, Kensington Market’s got its own craft brewery–Kensington Brewing Co. Their tap room is pretty tiny, but they’re serving up beers with great big flavours, like this Qullqa Gose, with lemon verbana leaves, Himalayan mountain salt and cantaloupe juice. Dude, this is the best thing I’ve ever had with cantaloupe in it!!!!

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From there, we’re headed to Thirsty and Miserable, this little heavy metal dive bar that’s one of my favourite places to get Ozzy Osbourne wasted this side of Hamilton. Dude, they were crankin’ Deep Purple on the stereo as I slammed down this Godspeed Shiranami Hefeweizen. And since they’ve got an open-door, bring your own food policy…say hello to fish tacos, bro!!!!!!!

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(Grabbed this bad boy from the Taco Terminators at Seven Lives, along with dos de cabeza…which you know went straight into mi cabeza, hermanito!!!!)