Now, if I told you there’s a joint called Henry’s on Queen West, you might think it’s a funky dive bar — or maybe even a plumbing company. But it’s actually this nice little wine bar that doesn’t even serve beer… although the plumbing in their bathroom is pretty nice. And when it comes to food, they’re all about the small plates. I mean, this is a little dish called Bubba’s Hot Fried Chicken:

And hey, there’s nothing wrong with this — except for the fact you only get two small pieces of chicken. Nice ‘n crunchy with a bit of a kick, not nearly Nashville hot, but slightly more than sports bar spicy. Dude, I could eat a whole basket of these, and still have room for dessert! Luckily, there are a couple of dishes here that’ll feed 2-3 people… or just one hungry citizen of Flavourtown. Here’s how you hack the menu:

Say hello to my not-so-little friend, Pastrami Spiced Pork Chop. This may not taste just like Katz’s Deli, but the pork is nice ‘n tender, and they give you about a dozen pieces, so there’s plenty to go around.

We’re pairing the pork with a side of Ontario smashed potatoes — I would smash these all day, bros! Taters are hot and crispy, swimming in hot sauce and sabayon (don’t call it hollandaise, son!) Who needs fries when you’ve got these bad boys????

Now, speaking of menu hacks… When they told me the pork was served in a dark lager sauce, I was like “Dude, you’ve got beer in the pork, but none in the fridge!?” Well, they did not have any in the fridge, but they found this Czechvar Dark Lager in the cellar, and since it wasn’t very cold, they put it in an ice bucket, which really did the trick. You KNOW there’s somethin’ ’bout a beer sittin’ on ice after a long hard day makes it taste just right, bro!!!!!!!!!!!

But even after scarfing down the biggest meal in Henry’s history, we’ve still got room for dessert. And since there’s no secret King’s Cake on the menu, we ordered both the desserts they’ve got, cuz they’re still pretty small. Like this ube cream puff, topped with toasted coconut. It’s like Profiteroles Gone Wild in Flavourtown!!!!

We’ve also got this chocolate tart with hazelnut and passionfruit. Now this dessert was more like chocolate mousse in a half shell — while the malted chocolate mousse I had the other day was really just a chocolate bar. So I guess if I want chocolate cake in Toronto these days, I gotta order a chocolate cream pie to get it or something???