OK, so now that Poutine Week is in the books, it’s time for me to take a look back at some of the funkiest poutines I’ve ever eaten. Hey, I’ve been to the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, and the Canadian Football Hall of Fame—but if this Poutine Hall of Fame actually opened up somewhere, you could sign me up for a season’s pass! Here are some of the greatest cheese curds, gravy and fries of all time:
THE STANDARD BY WHICH ALL POUTINE MUST BE MEASURED:
If you haven’t been to La Banquise, you haven’t had poutine, son! This funky Montreal joint has been serving up some of the tastiest poutines possible since ‘68, including La T-Rex (seen above), topped with ground beef, pepperoni, bacon and hot dog. Yeah, so I had to climb up Mont Royal on a pogo stick to burn off all the calories, and I almost died, but it was well worth the trip!
BREAKFAST POUTINE
I don’t always eat poutine for breakfast, but when in Montreal, I head up to Faberge. This place isn’t even open for dinner, but when you put peppers, onions, cheese curds, bacon ‘n egg on top of homefries, you don’t need to eat dinner, bro!
National brunchfast chain Cora has its own take on poutine matinale, with cheese curds, hot dogs, red peppers, onions, bacon ‘n egg topped with hollandaise. Sonnez les matines, son!
BEEFY POUTINE
The beef brisket poutine at Bareburger was the star of Poutine Week 2016. Super-tender slices of brisket, extra-crunchy fries, solid squeaky curds and pretty much the perfect poutine sauce. And no, it’s not a one-off, either—you can order it any day of the week (and maybe even twice on Tuesdays)!
One of the funkiest poutines of Poutine Week was Poutineville’s take on Korean BBQ. You wouldn’t think it would work, but that sweet ‘n tangy sauce really makes it!
Like I said, this menu item at Tesla Café coulda used some more curds, but it was some of the best braised beef on top of French fries I’ve ever tasted.
I don’t really remember eating this poutine at the Grey Cup in Vancouver, but I’m pretty sure it tasted awesome after a Calgary win, bro!
LOBSTER POUTINE
You mighta thought that going to Baton Rouge for lobster would be like going to Red Lobster for ribs, but when you put it on top of cheese curds, gravy and fries, the results are magically delicious!
Just as unexpected was that time I walked into a German beer hall in a strip mall in Kanata and ordered this Bomb.ca lobster dish. This poutine was bananas, and bananas are good!
OUT OF BOUNDS POUTINE
The last time I saw this much duck, I was lying facedown in a wading pond after an all-night tequila bender. A couple other places might have put duck confit on poutine before, but Prohibition Gastrohouse is the only joint I’ve seen putting duck confit, duck crackling and duck gravy on duck-fat fries. Shut the front door and buy a ticket!
Not sure if they do this every year, but this one time, on Thanksgiving, Smokes Poutinerie put turkey, stuffing, peas and cranberry on top of poutine. And I didn’t even have any leftovers!
They call these chowdah fries. Yes, that’s actually how it’s spelled. And hey, when you put some creamy clam chowder on top of crispy hot spuds, you could call it a vegan’s breakfast, and it would still taste good!
THE MOST EPIC HOMEMADE POUTINE OF ALL TIME:
We’ve got meatballs, chorizo, onions, peppers, cheese curds, fries and gravy, all homemade, all right here! Check it out, bro!
MORE HOMEMADE POUTINE
This was the first time I ever tried to make poutine. Pas pire, hein?
This pizza poutine was a bit of a #poutinefail, since I had to use feta cuz Longo’s didn’t have any curds. But it did not fail to satisfy my appetite, lemme tell ya!
If this tourtière poutine was any more Québécois, it would be voting “Oui!” 😛
Shrimp cocktail poutine. OK, I mighta been getting a little carried away with this one…
POUTINE THAT NEVER SHOULDA HAPPENED
Why McDonald’s, why!?
